


The Alpha and Omega

by gibbsandtonysbabe



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-11
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2017-11-20 21:39:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 71,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gibbsandtonysbabe/pseuds/gibbsandtonysbabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're supposed to be a team, respect one another and always have each other's six. What if two team members disregard that protocol? One life hangs in the balance due to their arrogance and selfishness. A cover up and lies is all that they speak in their defense as their actions come to light. Tag to 'Dead Air'- what could have happened by the simple action of turning a switch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shock

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing from NCIS-*sigh* if only!
> 
> Many thanks to my much loved Beta Amy!

“Alright guys, starting the second street and row of houses. What did you think of the last woman? You should have seen her Probie, she was something else. No offense Ziva, but she had a swim suit on and was very sexy.”

 

Ziva and McGee rolled their eyes and kept silent as Tony rambled on. This going from door to door to get voice prints to locate a possible terrorist cell was getting old really fast. They had had enough. Looking at each other they came to a silent agreement and both turned off their coms. 

 

Sighing in relief as Tony was silenced, Ziva spoke. “Finally, blessed quiet. I do not understand why we need to be here at all. He is simply walking door to door starting inane conversation. It is pure torture to listen to his voice any longer.”

 

“I know. He never shuts up. The constant movie references, details about his dating life; which if they are true, and I have my doubts must be in some record book. Seriously it has to be impossible for him to score that often and I don’t need or want to hear about it.”

 

“He acts like a …what is the word…play boy, yes? He is too irritating for any woman to want to be near him for that long.”

 

“I don’t know what Gibbs sees in him. Of course, there are the head slaps. I can see why Gibbs uses them and we never need any. Maybe he was a friend of the former Director or something and just sort of hangs on.”

 

If he were in Mossad, he would be killed for his actions. They would not put up with such insubordination and he would be dealt with severely.” Ziva chuckled bitterly. “I have more skills in my little finger. He should not be Gibbs’ SIC.”

 

“He can barely type and knows nothing of computers. Gibbs doesn’t either, but he is a formidable man.” Tim shuddered hoping the man never heard him say that. “He has a reputation and Tony most assuredly is tarnishing that. He has a degree in what? Phys Ed? And was a cop before. I understand that he may have had a detective’s shield, but I think I had to have heard that wrong.”

 

“Why do you think that?”

 

“Because Ziva, it takes great skill to obtain a gold shield and Tony was never anywhere long enough for that to happen for one and I don’t see him being awarding any such thing.”

 

“Perhaps we heard wrong McGee or we misunderstood.”

 

Before long the two of them looked at their watches, realizing it had been over two hours and decided they needed to check in. Each sighing as they readied themselves to hear Tony’s voice they switched them back on.

 

They both listened for a few minutes and heard nothing. McGee tried to up the volume and all they heard was silence. Looking at one another Tim struggled for an explanation.

 

“Maybe he is playing a joke on us Ziva. Very funny, Tony. Come on, we’re not laughing. We’re sorry for turning you off.”

 

As the minutes ticked by, they knew something was very wrong and they were in a great deal of trouble. They exited the van and went searching before calling Gibbs as they tried to come up with a logical reason for not noticing Tony was missing.

 

They returned to the van knowing the time had come to call Gibbs.

 

Tim looked at his com and figured that he should be able to cause some internal damage to make it look like theirs were malfunctioning. Tony would be all right and no one would ever look that closely at the details. After all, he went to MIT, how difficult could it be?

 

“Ziva, give me your com.” He took out his knife, present due to rule nine, and proceeded to carefully open the two coms and mess with their inner workings, making a mental note to look up the specs on the make and model in case more details became necessary.

 

“Ok. Let’s make the call.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Tony had gone two houses down and knocked on the door. “OK Probie and Probette here we go again.” Smiling as a man opened the door he started to speak but was dragged inside and thrown against the wall before he could get his bearings. The breath was knocked out of him but he managed to throw a punch that scored solidly with the man’s jaw as his feet were kicked out from under him, his head slamming into the ground making him dizzy.

 

“Ziva! Tim! Back up at 626 Morning Glory. NOW!” He fought off the man and managed to throw several punches of his own when he noticed the knife. “Shit! Ziva! McGee! Where the fuck are you? Armed man assaulting a federal officer.” He tried to reach the man seeing the rage in his eyes.

 

“Sir! Put the knife down. I’m Agent DiNozzo a federal officer.”

 

“Don’t care what your name is! You’re the mother fucker that’s been fucking my wife. She said she was leaving me for you. Like hell, she will! Eileen is mine asshole!” Throwing a solid punch to Tony’s solar plexus and knocking the wind out of him. Before he had a chance to react, he felt the knife enter his side. Grimacing in pain, he threw the man off.

 

“I don’t know Eileen, you have the wrong guy.” Tony nearly had the battle won and the man subdued when he was thrown back, hitting his head on the corner of the coffee table, knocking him out cold.

 

The man kept beating on him and kicking him as he yelled. “She won’t want you now! Don’t look so pretty all busted up.” Punctuating each word with a kick and then finally remembered the knife and began plunging it into Tony’s inert body a few more times.

 

The man’s rage finally settled, he leaned against the wall and realized what he had done. The front door opened and his wife walked in and looked at the bloody body on the floor.

 

“Carl?” She asked tentatively.

 

“Eileen, your pretty boy ain’t so pretty now is he?” He leered at her. “Maybe I might seem a better choice.

 

“Carl.” Eileen took his hand in hers. “There was never anyone else; I just told you that so you would notice me. You’ve been ignoring me lately and I don’t like it. I don’t know who that fool is.”

 

“You lied to me?”

 

“Yes, honey. I wanted you so badly. I love you.”

 

He looked down at Tony. “What do we do with him?”

 

She cocked her head. “Well can’t have my man go to jail after defending my honor and all. We could load him up in the car, drive out to the woods, and dump him. Be forever before someone finds him. Then we can come home and fool around until we fall asleep. How’s that sound?”

 

“You ain’t mad at me?”

 

“Nope. Feels pretty good that you would fight for me.” He pulled her in his arms and kissed her passionately.

 

“Come on; let’s dump him so we can have fun.” They wrapped Tony in sheets from upstairs and loaded him in the trunk of their car after pulling it in their garage. Carl changed his clothes and threw them in with Tony figuring it was a good way to dispose of them.

 

Pulling out of their drive way, they drove casually past McGee and Ziva who sat in the van unaware.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Gibbs grabbed his phone.

 

“Gibbs.”

 

“How did you lose him?”

 

“How long were you out of contact?”

 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” He growled into the phone.

 

“He had to have been talking; the silence should have clued you in.”

 

“Yes! I am having a hard time believing your story McGee. You expect me to grasp how you suddenly realized that Tony was not speaking to you, when the sole purpose for your being in that neighborhood was to obtain voice prints. Voice prints, McGee. That requires talking and exactly why I asked Tony to do this. He can talk to anyone.”

 

“So the fact that two agents that were supposed to watch his six lost him and have no time frame for it is crap. I expect you to wait there and I will deal with the two of you later.” He slammed his phone shut and motioned to Balboa to come over.

 

“Seems McGee and Ziva lost Tony and have no clue how long.”

 

Balboa looked aghast at Gibbs. “No fucking way.”

 

Gibbs nodded tersely his jaw locked trying to rein in his worry, but his gut was churning something fierce. “Get your team out to their location and set up a search. Watch McGee and Ziva. I will be heading that way after I ask Abby to check some things out for me.”

 

“You got it Gibbs.” Balboa turned to leave and gather his team. 

 

Gibbs ran down to Abby’s lab hoping that she could help piece together the facts that were sitting all wrong. She looked up and smiled as he walked in until she saw the look in his eyes.

 

“What’s wrong Gibbs” Who?”

 

“Tony. Seems McGee and Ziva lost him.”

 

“How?”

 

“Said their coms weren’t working.”

 

“That’s not true; I set them up myself to record everything. They have to be mistaken Gibbs.”

 

“I want you to look into it. Go through everything with a fine tooth comb and let me know if you find anything. This is between you and me for the moment. If I find that something else happened there will be hell to pay.” His blue eyes glinted icy cold.

 

“They wouldn’t do that to Tony….no…they couldn’t leave him without back up.”

 

“Don’t know Abs; just know that it doesn’t make sense. Can you trace Tony’s phone?”

 

Abby turned as her fingers flew over the keyboard her green eyes wet with unshed tears. Could they have left Tony without back up? Weren’t they family? There had to be something else, had to be.

 

“His phone is off. Let me see if I can triangulate with the com’s frequency. Go…get out there and find him and if I can pick up on it I’ll call and give you the location.” Her green eyes narrowed as she realized that Gibbs gut was hardly ever wrong. “And if those two did leave him alone, I want a shot at them.”

 

“Stand in line Abs, stand in line. I get them first.” He kissed her temple and jogged out the door heading to his car, his thoughts on the younger man. “He better damn well be alright I did not give him permission to die.” He whispered fiercely to himself. He sped to the site and walked over to Balboa ignoring McGee and Ziva.

 

“Anything?”

 

“Not yet. No trace. Those two have been silent the whole time. I’ll be honest Gibbs; I don’t get a good feeling about this at all. I took their coms from them and bagged them. That caused a hitch in McGee’s breathing.” Balboa smirked grimly at Gibbs. “You taught me that.”

 

“I agree. This has cover up written all over it. I have Abs checking the recordings and seeing if she can hear anything. She’s also going to try to triangulate a location using the coms frequency.” At that moment, his phone rang.

 

“Gibbs.”

 

“You have a location.”

 

“That forty five minutes away.” His eyes narrowed dangerously as he looked at McGee and Ziva.

 

“Have Ducky and an ambulance at that location, I would rather err on the side of safety and be prepared. I’ll leave Ziva and McGee with Balboa. He took their coms.”

 

“I know Abs, finding Tony was first, now you can do your thing. Call me when you know anything.”

 

“I will.”

 

“I won’t let him die Abs.”

 

“I will.”

 

He slammed his phone shut again and tried to calm down. “Keep those two with you, don’t let them leave. I’m going to the site and will call when I know anything.”

 

“Find him Gibbs. I’ll take care of these two. Tony’s my friend and has helped me out on cases all the time over pizza and beer. His insight is something I don’t have.”

 

Gibbs nodded and again sped off, this time Ziva and McGee were wondering why he said nothing to them.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Abby quickly went to autopsy and started talking. “Tony is missing and I may have found him but I don’t know. And he could be hurt and he may have been alone. Ducky that’s not right.” She started pacing and wringing her hands together. “He wants you to meet him there with an ambulance. His gut is churning Ducky and it’s never wrong. He wants me to look into the recordings and see if I find anything. They told him they weren’t working.” She stopped and balled her hands at her sides. “But I know they were; I programmed them myself because it was crucial we obtain clear voice prints to match with the one heard over the radio.”

 

She started pacing again and pulling on her pigtails nervously. “Gibbs will kill them, and I want to as well. But they wouldn’t have done that to Tony, would they? I mean we’re family. Right?” The tears began streaming down her face. 

 

Ducky pulled her into his arms, thankful that he understood what she was saying. “We must think positively, Abigail, Anthony is a strong man who has great will to survive. And if indeed the other two left him alone, then we shall deal with them as well. There is no excuse that would warrant that behavior.”

 

“Now dry your tears and send Anthony happy and warm thoughts and all the love you have for him. I shall do the same. And do as Jethro asked you and investigate. He trusts you with this Abigail, be strong. Now where am I supposed to go so I may also call an ambulance to that address?”

 

Abby wiped her tears and gave him the address. 

 

“Go Abigail and find out what happened to Anthony. We will have his six.” He kissed her on the temple before he exited.

 

Abby went to her lab with a new purpose and determination. Gibbs needed her and was relying on her to help solve this and Ducky was right, they would have Tony’s six.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Gibbs reached the area Abs said the signal was the strongest and his stomach dropped when he saw a body wrapped in a bloody sheet. He wrenched the car door open and ran over telling himself he was mistaken that it was something else entirely until he was upon it and saw Tony’s pale and lifeless face poking out of it. He knelt down beside the man remembering in his haste and worry to grab gloves; this was a crime scene, and he was going to get the people that did this to Tony.

 

Feeling a pulse though slight, he began to unwrap the man hoping to find just one or two injuries that he could deal with. What he saw took his breath away. Tony had multiple stab wounds. And as he opened his shirt, he could see the beginnings of boot print shaped bruises forming on the younger man’s torso.

 

He also saw defensive wounds and knew that Tony had gone down fighting. Finally finding his voice, he spoke to the unconscious man. “You fight, you hear me! You still do not have my permission to die. I can not lose you too. Fight Tony. I have your six. We’ll find everyone involved and take care of all of them, I promise.”

 

Hearing the siren, he was relieved as there was so little he could do. The paramedics ran over and began treating Tony. 

 

Gibbs noticed the extra bloody clothes, ran back to his car for the evidence kit, and began to bag and tag what he could. Ducky arrived and had the same reaction as Gibbs when he saw the condition of Anthony and the amount of blood.

 

“Jethro, call Balboa’s team so they can take over. You need to be with Anthony.”

 

Gibbs nodded. “I need to have him put Ziva and McGee somewhere on ice though, I don’t want them near here or to know what’s happening with Tony.”

 

“Agreed. But surely they can be held back at NCIS pending an investigation.”

 

Gibbs pulled out his phone. “I’ll call Balboa, please go see what you can find out about Tony.”

 

“We found him.”

 

“Not good at all. Stabbed countless times, beaten, and kicked.”

 

“I want your team here, but not Ziva and McGee. In fact, I don’t want them knowing anything. Can you have one of your people take them to NCIS and hold them?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“He has orders not to die.” Hanging up the phone, he took a deep breath.

 

Ducky walked over to Gibbs. “They are ready to transport. It’s quite serious Jethro; he has lost a great deal of blood and his injuries are quite severe. You’re not going to like this.”

 

“What Ducky?” Gibbs eyes narrowed dangerously.

 

“With the amount of blood he has lost, his body temperature, and the way the bruises are showing up-” Ducky steeled himself. “This happened over four hours ago, at the very least. And the sheet he was wrapped in means it didn’t happen here; he was brought here and dumped. This happened under Ziva and McGee’s watch.”

 

Gibbs growled from low in his belly, a feral sound that signaled certain death to those who crossed his path.

 

“Positive Duck?” He ground out through his clenched jaw.

 

“Unfortunately yes. Exact time, I can’t say but well over four hours. But you need to keep calm for the time being.” Holding out his hand in supplication, “There will be time enough for you to rip those two to shreds as well as the person that did this to Anthony, but right now he needs you”.

 

Gibbs took a deep breath. “Trying Duck. But this is not something I can deal with quietly. They didn’t have his six. I don’t know what Abs will find, but there’s no way in hell he didn’t call out for them. This was not a quick simple fight. Where the hell were they?”

 

“We shall solve this too Jethro. I trust Abigail will search every millisecond and find the answers, no matter what they are and the outcome. We will have his six, where others didn’t. Now get ready to follow them, they will be taking Anthony to Bethesda as I have requested and I already called Bradley. He is waiting.”

 

Gibbs answered his ringing phone.

 

“Gibbs.”

 

“Calm down.”

 

“WHAT?”

 

“I can’t believe that.”

 

“No Abs, I don’t doubt you. Please calm down.”

 

“I know. This is unconscionable.”

 

Gibbs growled. “They said that.”

 

“Fucking morons.”

 

“No Abs, killing them will not solve this.”

 

“Yes, damn it I want to rip them to shreds and send them to hell.”

 

“I want you to secure it, make a copy, and bring it to Vance. I will call him right now before I leave with Tony.”

 

“Yes. Not good. Ducky is here. He was beaten and stabbed multiple times.”

 

“He says over four hours ago.”

 

“I know.”

 

“He called for them.” Gibbs took a deep breath his fists balled at his side, anger, and rage pouring off his body.”

 

“I’ll give the address to Balboa’s team. They left evidence here. We’ll get the bastards.”

 

“Them too Abs.”

 

“Calling Vance now. Whatever you do, try not to let Ziva or McGee know anything about Tony.”

 

“I will Abs.”

 

Gibbs hung up and dialed Vance holding a finger up to Ducky’s questioning gaze.

 

“Vance, its Gibbs.”

 

“We have a real issue here. Abby will be bringing you a recording and evidence from today’s voice print gathering.”

 

“No, don’t have the terrorist.”

 

“Well shut up and I will tell you, damn it.”

 

“I’m pissed and you’re not listening.”

 

“ZIva and McGee turned off their coms and left DiNozzo without back up. He went up to a house where the guy apparently thought he was the one fucking his wife and was beaten and stabbed multiple times. DiNozzo called out for back up and no one was listening. Put up one hell of a fight.”

 

“Abby says the wife comes in and gets all hot that the man wants her so much and the two of them dispose of the body.”

 

“Yep. All on tape.”

 

“No there is more. Abby had it rigged to record everything, so that nothing was missed and while Tony was fighting for his life, those two idiots were complaining about him. Stating he was no good, shouldn’t be SIC, poor schooling. You name it they said it.”

 

“Right now I want my sniper rifle, but that would be too fast. I want them off my team, banned from NCIS, and anything else we can do to them.”

 

“Balboa is having one of his team bring them back to NCIS. I don’t want them knowing anything about Tony right now.”

 

“I agree.”

 

“His team will gather the evidence and they can pick up the couple at their home.”

 

“He gave the address as he was calling for help.”

 

“I will.”

 

“IA and JAG?”

 

“Good”.

 

“I’ll be in touch.” He hung up the phone, his brain struggling to process everything that happened; the fact that Ziva and McGee turned off their coms, their comments. It was too much and he wanted to scream in pure agony and frustration.

 

Ducky looked at him his own eyes hard as steel. “I heard Jethro. What shall happen with those two?”

 

“Vance will hold them and talk to IA and JAG. He believes that their willful disregard can be viewed as a conspiracy and they can be charged as accessories to attempted murder of a Federal Agent as well as a few other crimes. Gross negligence possibly even as accomplices considering they let the perps remove Tony from the scene right out from under them.”

 

Ducky grinned evilly. “Good. Those two deserve that and more.”

 

“He also said that if it showed that they tampered with the coms that would be another charge and would go to show that they knew their actions were wrong.”

 

“And keeping Anthony’s condition a secret?”

 

“When all this falls around them, I want that to be the last thing they hear about as well as a great deal of information about the man. The things they said about him. Damn it Ducky, why didn’t I see that? We could have nipped this in the bud. Was I that blind?”

 

“Jethro I don’t believe any of us saw that extreme amount of arrogance from either of them. Yes, we saw jabs and smart remarks but Anthony gave back as good as he got. I would have never thought them capable of leaving him without back up. Nothing in any of their previous behavior led me to believe that they felt that strongly about young Anthony.” Ducky’s eyes thoughtful.

 

“They bought into the whole jock and playboy act that he does so effortlessly without ever stopping to see what he was really about. There were very large breadcrumbs dropped over the years Jethro. Not to mention the multitude of other agencies that has and still tries to court him.”

 

“He did not earn the reputation of being the foremost sought after uncover agent by lacking skill and intelligence. We can and shall rectify their beliefs on Anthony. I will make sure that they are brutally aware of how obtuse they have been. Even if it is as they draw their last breath.”

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Leon had finished listening to the recording that Abby had made for him, again trying to wrap his head around the actions of two of his agents. He would have never expected that behavior from them. He certainly understood Gibbs’ desire to use his sniper rifle and shuddered to think what would happen when he actually heard the recordings and God forbid, if DiNozzo didn’t make it.

 

He would be the first to admit that when he met the man he had doubts about his skill. But then he did as he had done with every agent and reviewed his file trying to get to know him. DiNozzo had surprised him on many levels, his education that he continued after joining his first police force was impressive, and the number of undercover jobs and requests from quite a few agencies was astounding. That and the fact he was constantly being poached by other agencies. 

 

From there he had begun to watch DiNozzo; watch how he did indeed solve cases with leaps of intuition, how he seamlessly slinked into an undercover persona that fit him like a glove, and how he was able to handle himself in any situation. To say his opinion of the man had changed was a vast understatement.

 

The words from Agent David and McGee echoed in his ears-‘I have more skills in my little finger. He should not be Gibbs’ SIC. He has a degree in what? Phys Ed? And was a cop before. I understand that he may have had a detective’s shield, but I think I had to have heard that wrong’- what kind of investigators were they that they could not see what was right in front of their faces. He knew that he was blindsided, but even if he hadn’t had the files to peruse, DiNozzo’s skill, intelligence, and ethics were clearly evident.

 

He wondered if there was something that he, as the Director, missed that could have prevented this tragedy. But they all had missed this hatred of DiNozzo which was brought on by their arrogant belief their own skills were better. Skills that honestly didn’t measure up to DiNozzo’s. When Gibbs and DiNozzo had worked as a two party team their closure rate was as high as it is now, the others had really added nothing to their solve rate.

 

And truthfully, no one would have ever imagined a situation where any agent left another without back up; that was unheard of. Vance knew that when word of this spread through the agency, and it would, that those two would be ostracized as they rightfully should be. Not withstanding the possibility of legal charges after JAG and IA heard what had transpired. They would be adamant that the charges stick.

 

IA was ready for them and understood that at this time they had no knowledge of anything regarding Tony’s ordeal and agreed that would be a better way to proceed. DiNozzo was well liked and respected by a great many people at NCIS and when word got out, Vance knew that hell would break loose. It had been agreed that as long as there was no actual threats of bloodshed, there would be no protection offered. SECNAV had stated that the other agents needed to see that this was taken very seriously and in no way be swept under the rug because of McGee’s computer skills or David’s father.

 

It was not lost upon Vance that SECNAV did not refer to them as agents. As far as he was concerned regardless of any criminal charges, they were to be dismissed from the agency. And for his part, Vance had every intention of having all of this happen as publically as possible. DiNozzo deserved that, period.

 

He was also going to make it blatantly clear that their overrated sense of self paled in comparison to DiNozzo’s skills. He may call in Dr. Mallard for that as well. Who better to deliver the dressing down and subsequent education they obviously needed? 

 

The ringing of his phone brought the man out of his thoughts.

 

“Agent Richards.”

 

“Place them into separate interrogation rooms with a guard on each. Do not allow them to leave under any circumstances. Understood?”

 

“IA will be dealing with them shortly.”

 

“No new information on Agent DiNozzo at this time. Do not give those two any on him at all.”

 

“I understand Balboa gave you the run down, just want to make sure that it is clear.”

 

“Don’t worry they will be dealt with.” Hanging up he dialed IA letting them know that they were in the building and in separate cells. Taking a deep breath, he left his office so that he could watch what happened from the observation rooms.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Gibbs had been pacing the halls of Bethesda since they arrived and rushed Tony off. Ducky had managed to bring him coffee before he disappeared to be with the younger man and deal with the aftermath of this clusterfuck.

 

Logically he knew that pacing didn’t help anything, but he was too worried, agitated, and furious and a whole slew of other emotions to sit down. All he knew was that Tony had to be ok, there was no other option. 

 

Looking at his watch to find only five minutes had past since the last time he looked; he noticed the blood covering his hands, Tony’s blood. He realized he was covered with it. There was too much blood. He went to the men’s room to wash it off, watching as the red tinged water rolled off his hands.

 

He started shaking as he leaned against the wall and slid down, overcome by his emotions. What the fuck was wrong with him? Tony had been hurt before; he had the damned plague for God’s sake. But he knew it was different this time, he knew what he was feeling and he had no choice but to admit it. 

 

This was not how he envisioned this happening. Hell, he was sure he would never bring himself to admit it at all, but in the rare times that he allowed the thought to the forefront of his mind, he didn’t see Tony covered in blood when he confessed that he had fallen in love with the man.

 

Over pizza, beer, maybe even a cowboy steak, but never paired with the possibility that he wouldn’t get the chance at all. And that was when he knew that he was going to have to man up and when Tony was on the road to recovery, tell him.

 

He could only hope that his feelings would be reciprocated. There were times when he looked in the younger man’s eyes he thought he saw the same thing that shone in his own when he looked in the mirror, but he always wondered if it was wishful thinking on his part.

 

He had to have the chance. He needed the chance; he wasn’t sure he could take another loss to his soul. And for better or worse, Tony was such a part of him that he knew losing the man would cost him more than he ever imagined. It was part of the reason he tried so hard to fight against it, but it was too late for that now.

 

Standing on shaking legs, he finished washing up, looked in the mirror, and whispered. “Shannon…Kelly…please help Tony. Be with him, don’t let him be alone. God please let him live, I’ve lost more than I can bear. Please.” He did nothing to stop the tears rolling down his face as he let every fear flow with them, every ounce of pain that he’d kept inside and every feeling that he locked behind a closed door. They flowed with the tears, cleansing him from within. Finally allowing room for a new love to fit beside the one he lost, a heart ready to be made whole and a life finally ready to be lived.

 

Gibbs had no idea how long he was in the men’s room as he walked out the door, time had lost all meaning since he had found Tony’s battered and bloodied body. He sat down in the chair to wait for news and though still worried, he felt as though it would be all right somehow. He was going to hold on to that for dear life, it was his life line until he saw Tony breathing and on the road to recovery.

 

The doors opened and Ducky stepped through them looking older than his years. Fear gripped at Gibbs’ heart, terrified that Tony had lost his fight and the reason for Ducky’s countenance. Ducky looked up and seeing the abject fear in the blue eyes quickly set out to reassure him the best that he could.

 

“Anthony is alive and holding his own. I won’t lie or mollycoddle you and tell you that it went smoothly. We lost him twice on the table Jethro. The blood loss was too much for his battered body to contend with, but he came back to us fighting. It’s not going to be easy and at this moment, I can’t tell you whether he will go into the field again.”

 

“That is not to say that it looks that dire, it’s just too soon. He lost over half of his body’s blood supply, it’s a wonder he is alive at all. He had sixteen stab wounds. One required the removal of his spleen, one required removal of a portion of his lower intestine. Amazingly with as many wounds as there were, they missed his vital organs.”

 

“Bradley put him on a ventilator to ensure his lungs are not over taxed during this crucial time. He lost a small portion of his more damaged lung which should work in the lad’s favor. He has one hell of a fight ahead of him. Three ribs were wired back in place, his kidneys are severely bruised and he has more bruises and contusions on his body than I ever wanted to see.”

 

“But he is strong, his heartbeat sounds strong and his brain activity is normal. There is no swelling on the brain, which was a concern considering his head injury and his left hand his broken, but very cleanly so.” He looked at Jethro seeing the man struggle to take it all in.

 

“Jethro, I believe he will be fine. I do not say that lightly, I have seen his injuries. But Anthony is not ready to leave you at this time. I believe you both have unfinished business.” He held up his hand to forestall any comment.

 

“I may be old, but I am certainly not blind. You have been granted a second chance, do be sure and not to waste it.” Ducky narrowed his eyes at the silver haired man.

 

Jethro gave him a sheepish grin. “I won’t waste it. That I promise you.”

 

“Anthony will not be set up in ICU just yet, so let us go grab you something to eat and refresh your coffee. We shall call Abigail and inform her of Anthony’s condition and ask that she bring your gear here so that you may freshen up.”

 

Ducky looked at Jethro as he began walking, “Come on, let’s not dally.”


	2. Chapter 2- McGee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love to my Beta Amy!! She is awesome!

McGee sat in interrogation patiently and calmly waiting for someone to ask him questions about the malfunctioning coms. Presumably, there would have to be an inquiry about them being used in an investigation. Since Tony had messed things up as usual by getting lost or whatever, that would factor into it as well.

 

Tim knew he and Ziva would be asked about the time lapse and had already discussed that they would just say that they truly were unaware of how much time had passed. It was plausible; it happened to people all the time. 

 

He could only hope that he caused the right amount of damage to the two units. He had belatedly realized that Abby was the one that had readied the coms and hoped that she wouldn’t suffer any fallout for the ‘damaged’ coms being assigned. But if it came down to that, he was certain that Gibbs would watch out for her.

 

Tim heard the door open and sat up straight looking, for all intents and purposes, unconcerned as two men walked in the room.

 

“Agent McGee, I am Agent Brewster and this is Agent Evert from IA. We have some questions that we would like to ask you.”

 

Tim nodded.

 

“You understand this will be recorded and is admissible in court if necessary?”

 

“I understand.” Tim couldn’t imagine any reason it would be needed in court.

 

“Since you understand, let’s begin.” Agent Brewster asked the first question. 

 

“What was your assignment today Agent McGee?”

 

“We were to obtain voice prints from everyone who lived in the Royal Woods neighborhood in hopes that it would match with the voice captured on tape from the phone call made to the one victim, radio personality Adam Gator. There was an expectation that it would lead us to the MAH group which we believed perpetrated the murders”.

 

Both men nodded at his response.

 

“There was reason to believe this was far more than a simple murder then? A possible small cell of people who intended to do harm to more than just the three victims?”

 

McGee nodded before remembering he was also being taped. “Yes. We had reason to believe from the threats and the phone call that there was more than just a slaying of a radio personality planned. That they had a point they wanted to make.”

 

“So effectively Agent DiNozzo was talking with everyone in hopes to nail a possible homeland terrorist. Is that the idea Agent McGee?”

 

“Yes.”

 

‘How was Agent DiNozzo chosen to be the voice of this operation?”

 

McGee smiled for the first time since the interrogation started. “Agent DiNozzo has a mouth that won’t stop. He likes to talk about anything and nothing. He is very rarely quiet.”

 

Agent Evert narrowed his eyes. “It says here in the report he was chosen because he has great undercover skills and is very good at making people comfortable.”

 

McGee shrugged. “Maybe that what it says. I just know he likes to talk, I have only heard rumors of his undercover skills and can’t speak on that.”

 

The two IA agents looked at one another beginning to put their own pieces of the puzzle together. Agent Brewster leaned forward. 

 

“So you feel that another agent would have conducted the interviews in a way that was far more professional?”

 

“Maybe…he’s like the class clown, but if it gets the job done then no harm no foul. So whether or not a better more qualified agent could have done the job is a moot point. He was the one chosen and I just followed orders from then on.”

 

“When did you realize that you lost contact?”

 

McGee looked like he was trying to be clear. “Maybe a couple hours in, Agent David and I realized we hadn’t heard Agent DiNozzo’s voice. Then we noticed that the coms appeared to be malfunctioning.”

 

Agent Brewster spoke up. “So you heard him converse with the neighbors for awhile?”

 

McGee nodded. “An hour or two, somewhere in there. It wasn’t exciting conversation, so I lost track of time.”

 

Agent Brewster continued the line of questioning. “You didn’t find it odd that suddenly there was no talking to be heard when the whole point of this assignment was to obtain voice prints?”

 

“I tuned it out, it was boring. I must have tuned out a great deal better than I realized.” McGee chuckled. “Tony was not having stimulating conversations.”

 

Agent Evert’s eyes hardened. “You and Agent David were assigned as his back up; it was not the time to ‘tune out’ anyone. You were investigating a murder and hunting for a possible terrorist cell, not attending a child’s play and you’re stating for the record that you ‘tuned him out’. Those are the words you used to describe your own actions, am I correct?”

 

McGee tried to backtrack. “It wasn’t like that, time just got away, and then we lost him. We called Agent Gibbs and he came out right away.”

 

Agent Brewster nodded. “He came out to find Tony. Did he ask you how long it had been since you heard his voice?”

 

“He did and Agent David and I tried to be clear, but it wasn’t like we were watching the clock.”

 

There was a soft knock on the door. Agent Evert stood and walked over to it opening it slightly and put his head out to find out what was needed.

 

Abby leaned forward and whispered in his ear frantically and he noticed her eyes were red; she was clearly upset. He nodded as she filled him in on what she needed and why as she handed him an evidence bag and a pair of gloves. He nodded and motioned for her to stay there. He understood that, for the moment, Gibbs and Vance wanted to keep any information about Tony and the whole investigation quiet.

 

Abby would not have been able to remain civil; her face would have clearly shown a wealth of emotions that no one was ready to share. 

 

Closing the door, he put the gloves on and turned to McGee. “Agent McGee we need your knife please.” He held out the evidence bag.

 

“Why?” He asked as he slowly pulled it out of his pocket.

 

Two pairs of eyes narrowed at the question but Agent Evert continued. 

 

“Place the knife in the evidence bag please.” As the knife was dropped into the bag, he sealed it, taking out his pen to sign and date the seal. “The knife has been requested for evidence.”

 

As he turned to the door, he saw McGee swallow nervously. Opening the door, he handed off the bag to Abby and signed the transfer log, maintaining the chain of custody, keeping everything by the book. It didn’t take rocket scientist to figure out that the man had indeed messed with the coms and the proof was now in the hands of one of the best forensic scientists in the country. 

 

He did wonder what the two NCIS agents were thinking at the time or if they did at all. He was thoroughly disgusted by the fact that they left their partner without any back up and so far, as far as he was aware, hadn’t even asked about him once.

 

He motioned to Agent Brewster. “Agent McGee you will need to stay in this room. We will be conducting an interview with Agent David and you will be unable to leave until the Director releases you after reviewing our reports.”

 

“So I am done with the questions?”

 

“For the moment Agent McGee. We may need clarification on a few of your answers; it will depend on several things so sit tight.” He opened the door and he and Agent Brewster stepped into the hall closing the door behind them.

 

“So Abby found reason to believe the coms were tampered with?” Brewster asked.

 

“Found small nicks and some shavings inside the coms. It was a rush job. Neither of them believed that they were doing anything wrong and so far they have no idea what is going on with Agent DiNozzo.”

 

Agent Brewster shook his head. “Have either of them even asked about him?”

 

“Not that I am aware.”

 

“If the shavings are from his knife, it’s another nail in the coffin.”

 

Agent Evert nodded. “From what I have seen and heard so far combined with time line and the medical report detailing Tony’s injuries, they already have more nails then they will know what to do with. They have shown no remorse or concern. During the questioning, McGee perjured himself.”

 

“Let’s go see what Agent David has to say. I’m gonna bet that she says damn near the same thing.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

McGee was a bit panicked after the two IA agents had left. Quite shaken by the request for his knife, he tried to remember if he wiped it off or not after he tampered with the coms. He barely played with the small intricate wires, certainly not enough to leave trace.

 

In hindsight, he realized that maybe he should have worn gloves as well. But he was careful when he placed the knife inside, knowing that was a delicate piece of equipment. But Abby was the one who would be examining them. 

 

Then it dawned on him that she didn’t come inside the room to retrieve the knife herself. Usually she would have organized something so that she could lend some sort of support for him. She wouldn’t have reason not to offer support…would she?

 

No. McGee shook his head. His thoughts were getting away from him, there was nothing to find, he was careful. He knew about electronics and he didn’t leave any trace. Maybe there was a ploy on Abby’s part, but the two IA agents wouldn’t let her in.

 

Everything was going to be all right, McGee smiled. He and Ziva had their stories worked out and they would be cleared. There was nothing to worry about; nothing at all.


	3. Chapter 3- Abby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truly love my Beta Amy! She keeps me sane and on the right track!

Abby looked at the three coms in the evidence bags that Balboa placed in her hands.

 

“These are Ziva and McGee’s coms from the op and Tony’s.” He hugged the distraught woman. “It will be ok Abby. This is Tony. Gibbs is with him and you know that as soon as he knows anything and is able to, he’ll let you know what is happening.”

 

“And as hard as this is, he and Tony need you to examine these. We need the facts to take care of this properly. By the book Abby. For Tony.”

 

Abby squared her quivering shoulders, wiped her eyes, and sniffed. “For Tony.” Balboa squeezed her shoulder as he walked out of her lab. She took the first com, logging it into evidence and began to examine it. Using the microscope, she started checking the connections and documenting every minute detail and issue that she discovered.

 

Abby knew that the coms were working prior to being given to Tony, McGee, and Ziva. She triple checked them and made sure, because the assignment was huge. Getting clear voice prints was imperative. Plus, she had them set to record everything in case it became necessary; being in a residential neighborhood, she hadn’t wanted to leave anything to chance.

 

She was only human and not above making a mistake, but the idea that they just stopped working would have bothered her greatly even if Tony hadn’t been hurt. She took her job very seriously; Gibbs and the team counted on the equipment to be in working order.

 

Abby was very relieved that she hadn’t shared the information that the coms were recording and their data was being sent back to her computer. The fact that Ziva and McGee’s conversation was recorded for all to hear was something she would be eternally grateful for. She couldn’t wait until that piece of information was dropped in their laps. They certainly wouldn’t feel so high and mighty then.

 

But she wanted to be thorough so she was checking all the connections visually before attaching the coms to an Oscilloscope to track their electrical continuity. As she looked through the scope, she froze.

 

“No!” escaped her mouth as she looked harder. Regardless of the fact that she knew that McGee and Ziva were lying and that they had in fact left Tony without back up, this was not something that she had expected. This went far beyond arrogance and irresponsibility. This was in fact criminal.

 

The tears started to flow as she noted that this particular com had been messed with. There was a small scratch at the edge where the tiny wire was attached. They had tried to cover up their crime by damaging the equipment. She wasn’t worried about this coming back on her, she had run a test with the coms before they were in use and she had that as proof that they were working.

 

At that moment she gave thanks to every deity that she knew existed for her anal compulsiveness where keeping records was concerned. Notating whose com it was, she grabbed the next one and realized it was Tony’s. There were traces of his blood on it and she had to stop and hug Bert before she was able to continue.

 

Taking a deep breath, she opened it up and began to examine it under the scope. There was nothing to indicate there would be a problem with Ziva and McGee hearing Tony. And the recordings that she had of the incident itself were proof that his was in fine working order.

She gingerly swabbed some of the blood to run it through tests just to confirm that it was in fact Tony’s as the tears silently streamed down her face. Placing that com back in the bag, she reached for the third one. Bracing herself for what she was sure to find, she looked under the scope and there it was. Slightly different and very faint, there was a scratch at the wire. It obvious they were trying to be gentle. Both of the damaged coms had tiny shavings that were invisible to the naked eye due to their small size. There was no way, unless you attempted this under a scope, that there would have been no trace left after the tampering. Certainly after the damage had been inflicted and the coms were inspected it would have appeared clean.

 

Abby could picture that whoever did the deed gently blew air into the small device thinking that would have removed any residual trace. But small electronics end up carrying a very small static charge and the shavings though microscopic would have stayed inside. 

 

Taking small samples from both damaged coms, she ran them through Major Mass Spec so she could determine the compound that comprised the shavings. She hoped that one or both of their knives would have trace on them. Chances were good that the plastic inside the com was statically charged and the same shavings would have clung to the knife.

 

Grabbing several pairs of gloves, evidence bags and the evidence log, she set off to Interrogation to retrieve both McGee’s and Ziva’s knives. With any luck, one would be a match. Abby narrowed her eyes in anger, Gibbs was going to kill them both when he found this out before they even had a chance at a trial. She needed to make certain that she had a chance at the two of them first, otherwise there would be nothing left.

 

Walking up to the first Interrogation room she quietly knocked. The guard came to the door and she explained what she need quickly and quietly. He smiled and assured her he understood and headed back in to do her bidding, returning with evidence bags that contained three knives; he logged in the evidence. 

 

Abby realized that Ziva must be in the room from the amount of knives collected. After the logging was complete, she thanked the Agent and walked to the room that held Agent McGee. Trying to reign in her anger at the two of them, she gently knocked on the door.

 

Agent Evert put his head out to find out what was needed.

 

Abby leaned forward and whispered in his ear frantically. “I found scratches at the connection in the coms worn by Agent McGee and Agent David. There was also trace plastic shavings and I need his knife to see if any were left on the blade.”

 

“I noticed the shavings were very statically charged and I have reason to believe that it is possible that some was transferred to the blade. I need you to bag and tag his knife.”

 

Agent Evert noticed her eyes were red and she was clearly upset. He nodded as she handed him an evidence bag and gloves. He motioned for her to stay where she was. He could sense the worry for Tony and her anger at the whole situation and wanted to keep her away from temptation.

 

Hell, he knew Agent Gibbs’ reputation and Abby’s. She was very rarely wrong in her findings and once Agent Gibbs found out, those two agents were going to be lucky to make it to prison. Frankly, he understood the sentiment, this whole thing stunk.

 

Closing the door, he put the gloves on and turned to McGee. “Agent McGee we need your knife please.” He held out the evidence bag. 

 

“Why?” He asked as he slowly pulled it out of his pocket.

 

Two pairs of eyes narrowed at the question but Agent Evert answered.

“Place the knife in the evidence bag please.” Once the knife was dropped into the bag, he sealed it and took out his pen to sign and date the seal. “The knife has been requested for evidence.”

As he turned to the door, he saw McGee swallow nervously. Opening the door, he handed off the bag to Abby and signed the transfer log keeping everything by the book. Abby thanked him and headed back to her lab prepared for what she knew she would find.

 

Entering her lab, she placed the evidence on the table and once again picked up Bert. She really needed a hug from Gibbs or Tony desperately. But Gibbs was where he should be, with Tony. Whispering a prayer to God to help Tony survive, she placed Bert on her table.

 

“Bert, you know what we’re going to find. Question is who did it?” Abby looked at the bags. “Yeah, I know, I think McGee was the one who did it. He would think that he had the knowledge and ability. I can’t believe that it turned into this, that they would just leave him out there alone. Tony would never, ever leave someone without back up. And not because of a rule, but because he cares about people and wants to keep them safe.”

 

“This sucks. How is he going to feel when he finds out that his friends, people he trusted did this to him? This is Tony we’re talking about. He will find a way to blame himself, but I will not let that happen. This is not his fault. He still has us and we will make it right.” She let out a heavy sigh. “Don’t know how, but Gibbs, Ducky, and I will figure out a way.”

 

She put her gloves on and grabbing the bag with the one knife that she knew in her heart of hearts caused the damage, got to work. She did everything by the book, making meticulous notes as she logged the evidence and removed it for examination. Taking a deep breath, she looked under the scope.

 

There they were. Teeny pieces of shavings. Gathering them to place in the Mass Spec to run comparisons, she logged in, examined the other three knives, and found them to be clean. She sat back and once again let the tears flow. For Tony who was fighting for his life, for Gibbs who she believed cared for Tony more than anyone realized and for McGee and Ziva. 

For them, her tears for them were of sadness that they would do this intentionally. They turned their back on family and ignored what they knew was right. Those would be the last tears she shed for the two of them as anger took their place.

 

Hearing the familiar ding, she brought up the results on her computer. She was prepared and knew what it was going to say. It was a 100% match. The coms had been tampered with and McGee’s knife had been the one that caused the damage. She completed her report and sent it up to Vance while preparing to call Gibbs.


	4. Chapter 4 - Gibbs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love to my most awesome Beta Amy!!

Gibbs did feel a bit more human after the food and coffee. Ducky’s chatter kept his mind from drifting off into the dark place he didn’t want to go. Tony…he saw the man; hell he was still covered in his blood. How was he going to be all right? He trusted Ducky’s opinion and he had seen Tony fight back from incredible odds, but when does a body give up, when is it unable to muster the desire to go on?

 

He looked at Ducky and took a deep breath. “How is Tony going to feel when he realizes that his ‘friends’, his team, people he trusted didn’t have his back? That they tuned him out and in fact, left him alone?”

 

Ducky nodded. “That is something that has been weighing on my mind Jethro. Young Anthony will be quite distraught over this and I daresay will try to place a great deal of blame on himself.” Holding his hand up to stop the rant that he knew was about to start, “He is blameless Jethro and you, Abby and I and all of his friends must endeavor to make him understand that before it eats at him and possible sets his recovery time back.”

 

“It will be quite helpful when the time comes, to tell him what facts Leon and J.A.G. have been able to ascertain and how they plan to set justice in motion. I have no doubt that Abigail is doing everything by the book so whatever she discovers beside the highly incriminating tapes will be irrefutable proof of their actions.”

 

“Though personally I would desire a more archaic form of justice as I am sure you do, this is in fact the more prudent way to go. “ Ducky looked at Jethro over his glasses. “I know that you have eyes on your sniper rifle and I fully understand that desire. But Anthony would never want you to put yourself in that position for him. He needs you by his side to be his rock as his world and what he believed in crumbles around him.”

 

“We all shall need to rely on one another, this action affects us all. NCIS will not go unscathed as this becomes known. Leon is doing the right thing by having the consequences the two shall face being made public. That will go a long way in helping NCIS to heal as it becomes common knowledge that one of their own was left without back up.”

 

Gibbs nodded. “I agree. This doesn’t just affect the few of us. It’s like shifting sands in the desert where one grain starts a chain reaction. Just hope we can keep from being buried.”

 

“I won’t lie to you Jethro; this will be a very difficult task. But we are not alone and will find ourselves I am sure, with a great many more allies than we could have known. Strength in the face of adversity is something you know a great deal about. You will be far stronger than you can possibly believe because you have something worth fighting for.”

 

“Together you and Anthony will come out the other end, changed, but stronger because of what you’ve endured. Now let’s go see how he is doing and see about getting you some scrubs to change into. We must call Abigail and give her an update as well.”

 

Gibbs pulled out his phone and dialed.

 

“Abs, its Gibbs.”

 

“He is in critical condition, but Ducky feels certain that he can get through this like he does everything else.”

 

“Lost a lot of blood, lots of injuries that I can’t begin to list. Pitt has him on a ventilator to help his lungs not work as hard. It’s bad Abs, I won’t lie to you.”

 

“I know, it’s Tony, he always fights the odds.”

 

“I would appreciate that. I was gonna ask if you would bring my kit.”

 

“Don’t think he’s gonna be awake for a while, pretty drugged up and out of it. They plan on keeping him in a heavily medicated coma for several days so that his body has a chance to recover.”

 

“Yep, they know him too well. I’m pretty sure both Ducky and Pitt suggested it.”

 

“Yes, I’m sitting down and Ducky is right here.” Gibbs was silent and his eyes narrowed dangerously as Ducky watched. Ducky leaned nearer, concerned.

 

“That’s solid proof alright Abs.” Gibbs finally spoke, his voice hard and cold with a deadly edge.

 

“I know Abs, it sucks. If there was a way I could go back and change what happened, I would. Hell we all would, we certainly didn’t see this coming.”

 

“We’ll get him through it. Whatever it takes. Those two will be going down, my way, or Vance’s.”

 

“I promise not to go run off and take care of them. I won’t leave Tony.”

 

“I’ll see you tonight.”

 

“You did a great job Abs.”

 

Shutting his phone Gibbs struggled to keep control of his rage while processing the news he just received. Taking deep breaths, clenching, and unclenching his fists he barely managed to rein it in. Ducky patiently waited knowing the man would speak when he had a semblance of control.

 

Taking a deep breath Gibbs spoke, his voice filled with the rage that was coursing through his veins. “Abby found that the coms had been tampered with.” He paused, Ducky silently waited for him to continue.

 

“The wires had been cut in the two that were assigned to McGee and Ziva, Tony’s was perfect. She found shavings around the nicked wires and ran them through one of her contraptions.” After several tense moments, he continued. His words came through a jaw clenched so tightly it was a wonder he didn’t do damage.

 

“She asked for their knives as evidence and found trace on McGee’s. There was a perfect match in the plastic compound shit.” Gibbs looked into Ducky’s eyes and found the older man’s mirrored his emotions. The disappointment was obvious but was clearly overshadowed by rage. 

 

Both men were silent as they allowed the new information to sink in. 

 

“This seals their fate Jethro. Regardless whether or not Ziva’s knives had trace, the mere fact that she gave her com to McGee shows intent to cover up. There is nothing that can save them now, even if they were to come clean with the IA investigation.”

 

Gibbs growled quietly aware of his surroundings. “But it doesn’t seem like enough. What sort of prison term will they get? What about how this is going to make Tony feel? What if he can’t go back into the field? They broke his trust Ducky, what will that do to the man? They may just get a prison sentence of a few years.”

 

“You’re right Jethro; the punishment doesn’t fit the crime. But if you doled out your brand of justice, and I understand the desire to so, trust me, then where will Tony be? You could find yourself behind bars and he would be far worse off.” Ducky sighed.

 

“Prison will not be easy for either of them. Ziva may think that she will be able to handle it with her Mossad training, but living there without freedom and being made to conform to their rules is not going to sit well with her. This is not her strong suit, and as for Timothy, well he is ill equipped for what he will encounter in prison. I assure you that somehow it will come out that they were federal agents, and we all know how that will be received.”

 

Gibbs stared off as he digested what Ducky said. “I know you’re right. But I’m pissed as hell.”

 

“Rightly so Jethro, use that to help Anthony. He’s going to need everything you have and more. Open up to him Jethro, let him see as well as feel how this is affecting you. This will not be a time for you to hide, he will need full honesty and if want to have him in your life as a great deal more than a friend now is the time to show it.” Ducky stood and motioned for them to head to Anthony’s room.

 

“Let us head back and see how the young man is fairing. I think you have had enough truths for one day. You can sit by the lad and talk to him. He will hear you through all the drugs Jethro. You and he have been in tune with one another since the day you met in Baltimore.”

 

The two men walked silently down the hallway to the elevator. Upon exiting the elevator, they noticed a flurry of activity in and out of one room. They both heard a call for 300 joules and then to clear.

 

Excruciating seconds passed as they waited both fearing what neither wanted to say, but when Dr. Pitt walked out of the room, their worst fears were confirmed. Tony. Pitt, seeing the men quickly made his way to them.

 

“We were able to restart his heart. I won’t lie, it’s not good, but we shouldn’t be too surprised either. His body suffered a great deal. He’s fighting and not giving up, so nether should we.” He turned to look at Gibbs. “You need to keep talking to him and keep him here. You are just about the only one who can.” 

 

Turning to Ducky, “His body is strained and tired. It didn’t take a great deal to bring him back which is a good sign. We knew this was going to be an uphill battle in the beginning. Once we get past this hurdle, it should be a great deal easier. Not easy, mind you, he has a long road of healing ahead of him, but we will all definitely be able to breathe easier.”

 

Looking back at Gibbs, “I have the recliner chair by the bed and have told them you are allowed to stay 24/7 and he is allowed, as long as they are quiet visitors. I assume that Abby, Jimmy, Ziva, and McGee will be here shortly?”

 

“Not McGee or Ziva.” Gibbs growled.

 

Ducky decided to explain the situation to Brad away from Jethro. “Jethro go see Anthony and talk to him. Be sure to tell him I will be there shortly as will Abigail.” Giving the man a gentle push, he turned to Brad. “Why don’t you and I go converse about his medical needs.” As he steered the doctor away, he began to fill him in.

 

Gibbs walked into Tony’s room, taken aback at the pale and still man lying in the bed. Finding himself beside the bed with no conscious memory of how he got there, he gently brushed the hair off the younger man’s forehead.

 

“You really need to stop this. I need you here…that’s not the whole truth actually.” He grabbed the younger man’s hand and began to run his thumb over it. “I need you period, in so many ways. Ways I never even allowed myself to dream about. Somehow you have managed to become the one constant in my life.”

 

“You’re the first one I think of when good things happen or when I need to talk. You make me smile and laugh. Never really thought that I would ever do that again.” Gibbs sighed as he continued. “I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to tell you how I felt for so many reasons.” He chuckled.

 

“Rule 12 is one of them, but not the prominent one. Never figured you would want an old battered marine for one. I know that I can be difficult, hell I am sure if you look up bastard in the dictionary, my picture is there. But right now none of the reasons are important.”

 

“What is important is the fact that I don’t want you not to know, I need to tell you. I hope that when you wake up I can say the words with you looking at me with those green eyes of yours. But for now, I will say them over and over to you while you’re sleeping. And God help me, I will pray. Haven’t done that in a very long time but if it helps, I will pray to every deity in existence that you come back to me.”

 

Taking a deep breath, he spoke the words that he had felt for so long. The words that he feared but meant with every fiber of his being and the words that had the power to break him, “I love you Tony.”


	5. Chapter 5 -Vance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge gobs of thanks to my amazing Beta Amy- couldn't do it with out her!

Vance looked up from the report Abby sent him. He’d read it three times and was more disgusted each and every time. It was no longer a probable case, but a real one. It actually happened. The coms had been tampered with. Having already talked to SECNAV when this started, he had no need to do so again for the moment.

 

He had been told to handle it by the letter of the law, no ifs, ands, or buts. They had already had a feeling that this was going to be the outcome. There was no other rationale behind them not hearing from Tony for hours. And it sickened him that two very promising agents could blatantly turn their backs one of their own to be left in a potentially dangerous situation. 

 

At this point he didn’t care if they were unaware of what transpired due to their actions, and frankly, it was quite disturbing that they hadn’t asked about their team member. SECNAV had agreed that the consequence of their actions was needed to be made very public throughout all of NCIS. It was crucial for all of them to heal.

 

This action may have caused one agent to fight for his life, but the agency as a whole needed to know that this behavior was not going to be condoned and there were very strict ramifications for disregarding protocol and common human decency. 

 

Vance sighed. Ducky had called him earlier and gave him an update on Tony’s condition. The man was fighting for his life, something that could and should have never happened. This was not an accident or an honest mistake, but a deliberate action by two agents.

 

There was still hope though, Ducky said that Tony was fighting and if he managed to make it through the next few hours, his chances increased. It was going to be an uphill battle, but once he reached the crest, the fight would be easier. 

 

He was going to make damn sure that when the man woke up and was able to understand all that transpired, he would know that the agency was behind him and that it didn’t condone the actions of the two agents nor would it be swept under the rug. There was a price to pay and McGee and David would pay it.

 

He now had to make three calls; one to the IA agents to inform them of the findings so they could include that in their line of questioning, another to JAG Lawyers so they could determine what charges could be filed and last to Director David. He needed to know what was going on with his daughter and to understand that she was not going to be shown leniency.

 

He decided to make that call last as it was guaranteed to be the most draining. Dialing Agent Evert’s phone he mentally listed all the things he needed to tell them.

 

“Agent Evert, Director Vance here. I have some new information you will need regarding your IA investigation into Agents McGee and David. How do you wish to receive this information?”

 

“Yes, I can email it to you, we have a protected server.”

 

“It does concern the knives that Miss Scuito was requesting.”

 

“I will be informing JAG after our conversation so that they may proceed accordingly.”

 

“You’re recording the interviews, correct?”  
“I’m just ensuring that we have every base covered. We need to prove their actions were premeditated and they were aware of what they were doing. If they perjure themselves then that is on the two of them. They could have told the truth at any given time.”

 

“SECNAV is fully aware of the proceedings and prepared for the worst outcome.”

 

“I agree this is already the worst possible outcome. An agent fighting for his life by the actions or rather inactions of other agents is inexcusable.”

 

“According to Agent Balboa who was with them at the Royal Woods neighborhood, neither agent has made any inquiry into Agent DiNozzo and his whereabouts.”

 

“I will keep you posted if anything new comes in.”

 

“He is fighting hard right now and if he can get through the next few hours his chances will expendientially increase. He has fought through worse; he will get through this as well.”

 

“Agent Gibbs is with him, I doubt he will leave until he is sure of the outcome.”

 

“Let me know when you have finished and what they said.”

 

“No.” Vance sighed. “I don’t believe that they will come clean. I would put money on them trying to sell one another out until they hear the recording of their own conversation.”

 

“JAG confirmed it was admissible in court since they were on the job gathering evidence. Regardless of whether they were aware of it or not, they incriminated themselves.”

 

“Let me know.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Hanging up Vance looked at the clock. This day really needed to end, tomorrow had to bring some better news. So far, McGee had perjured himself on top of everything else. He had no doubts that David would do that as well and their stories would mirror one another’s, at least until other evidence came to light. It would be interesting to see how they twisted that.

 

He opted to email JAG as they would need the report anyway. It wasn’t going to be a surprise to him that the action of tampering with equipment would add more charges. Giving it voice would be too much now. It was going to be difficult enough to call Director David. The conversation had the potential to go off the deep end very quickly.

 

Sighing, he picked up the phone and dialed.

 

“This is Director Vance for Director David please.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Vance waited gearing himself up for the conversation when he heard the line open.

 

“Shalom, Eli.”

 

“No, it’s not a social call. We have a problem and Ziva is very definitely involved.”

 

“No, not this time. This time you can’t whisk her out of here, there will be legal charges.”

 

“Absolute and irrefutable proof she is involved.”

 

“She turned off her com during an investigation and left her partner without backup. He was attacked and is right now fighting for his life.” Taking a deep breath, he continued. “He called for both agents that were supposed to be surveilling his progress but since they both turned off their coms, they couldn’t hear him.”

 

“No, I’m afraid that’s not all.”

 

“They were being recorded the whole time. Everything from why they turned their coms off to the disrespectful things they said about the other agent was captured. Everything Eli.”

 

“Agent DiNozzo.”

 

“Yes, I’m quite aware of his skills and reputation, it appears your daughter has closed her eyes to the facts and sees herself as a top agent.”

 

“No, she was not and will not be alone in this fiasco. Agent McGee was right there with her.”

 

“The two of them decided they were tired of Agent DiNozzo’s voice.”

 

“They were there to get voice prints in search of a possible homeland terrorist cell.”

 

“I agree Eli, her actions are unconscionable.”

 

“No, I’m sure you never expected this out of her. I never expected this out of either of them.”

 

“Frankly, I didn’t know how you were going to take this. She is your daughter Eli and I know that as a father it must be difficult.”

 

“As of right now, there are likely to be charges of criminal neglect, tampering with evidence, accessory and adding and abetting. I can’t be sure right now, the investigation is ongoing, and more information continues to come to light.”

 

“The coms were tampered with.”

 

“Both hers and McGee’s.”

 

“DiNozzo’s was in perfect working order.”

 

“Fighting for his life at the moment. Touch and go right now.”

 

“This will become public knowledge after the investigation is complete. There will be an announcement and everyone at NCIS will know what transpired.”

 

“Exactly. They need to know that we have their backs.”

 

“I’m hoping that if DiNozzo does make it, this will help him heal as well. It won’t be easy for him when he finds out the facts. It will be hard for him to reconcile what happened and why.”

 

“I can do that Eli. I will let him know how you feel about Ziva’s actions. I agree that might help. Do you want to talk to her?”

 

“I will ask SECNAV. Are you sure about that Eli? You want to be live when we reveal their actions to NCIS?”

 

“I can see your point. Show your agents that you won’t tolerate that from anyone.”

 

“Thank you Eli. I will keep you posted.”

 

Hanging up the phone Vance sat back in his chair. He was surprised at the turn of events but certainly from a Director’s standpoint, understood Eli’s point of view. Viewing it from a father’s angle, the decision had to be difficult. Ziva would see that her position in Mossad or as the Director’s daughter was not going to garner her any special treatment.

 

Now he just needed to talk to SECNAV.


	6. Chapter 6 - Ziva

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much thanks and a great deal of love to my Beta Amy!

Ziva continued to keep her demeanor non-descript as she tried to make sense of what was going on. Originally, she was certain that this was simply a routine IA investigation into the malfunctioning coms and presumably, about how Tony managed to get lost or perhaps wandered off with that woman he interviewed earlier. But then there was the request for her knives. That made no sense at all. She certainly hadn’t used them for anything.

 

The door to the interrogation room opened and two men entered. As they placed a recorder on the table, she waited for them to introduce themselves. She and Tim had already decided how they would explain the lapse in time. Certainly after they understood that Tony never shut up, it would all make sense and there would be no more questions.

 

Ziva hoped that McGee had been able to cause enough damage to the coms; it was done in great haste. Abby would surely find the damage and determine that was the reason they were not working. It was simple enough. If it were Mossad, there would be a great deal more effort to find the cause of the malfunction and the person who assigned the coms would be in a great deal of trouble. 

 

But here there was nothing of that. Abby would look at Gibbs with her wide eyes and he would protect her. This time it would be needed, though she did not assign faulty coms, it would appear after the fact and the work McGee did on them that in fact she had. Abby would not cut it in Mossad, she would not be able to flutter her eyelashes and dance around a lab. No, things there were far more stringent. Abby may be skilled in her field, but her dress and the way she carried herself would not be tolerated. She would have been reprimanded for her lack of decorum and ability to keep to herself.

 

“Agent David, I am Agent Brewster and this is Agent Evert from IA. We have some questions that we would like to ask you.”

 

Ziva nodded acknowledging their introductions.

 

“You understand this will be recorded and is admissible in court if necessary?”

 

“I understand.” They must need to record instead of taking notes Ziva surmised. They must have some trouble with their ability to take notes and were recording to make it easy on the two of them. That made a great deal of sense as there was certainly no reason for the recording to be used in court.

 

“Since you understand, let’s begin.” Agent Brewster began the questioning along the same lines as they had done earlier with Agent McGee. 

 

“What was your assignment today Agent David?”

 

“We were sent to the Royal Woods neighborhood to obtain voice prints from everyone who lived there. We were hoping to find a match to the voice on the phone call made to one of the victims; radio personality Adam Gator. There was a chance that this caller was the perpetrator of the murders or could lead us to the one in the MAH group which committed the murders.”

 

Both men nodded at her response.

 

“NCIS had reason to believe that this was far more than just a simple murder then? There was a possibility of a local home grown cell of people who intended to do harm to more than just the three victims?”

Ziva quickly responded. “Yes. We had reason to believe from the threats and the phone call that there was more than just a slaying of a radio personality planned. That they had a point they wanted to make. We weren’t clear on what that was or whether it was intended to be local or vastly larger.”

 

“So effectively Agent DiNozzo was talking with everyone in hopes to gain a match to the voice recording and nail a possible homeland terrorist. Is that the idea Agent David?”

“Yes.”

 

“How was it determined that Agent DiNozzo would be the voice of this operation?”

 

Ziva allowed a brief expression of disdain to cross her face before answering. “Agent DiNozzo is never quiet and has a lack of knowledge in the proper decorum that should be maintained by a proper agent. Agent DiNozzo likes to talk about anything and nothing. He very rarely quiet stops talking.”

 

Agent Evert’s eyes became hard as he digested her response. “It states in the report he was chosen because he has great undercover skills and is very good at making people comfortable. And considering that you wanted people to converse for a voice print match, he would be the logical choice.”

 

Ziva shrugged. “Perhaps. The one op where we were undercover as a married couple who were assassins was simplistic in nature and did not require great genius. Agent McGee would have also been able to fill that role properly. I do not feel that is enough to formulate an opinion regarding his skills undercover.”

 

“He was able to keep in character and get me out of the room, though a noble gesture, an unnecessary one as I am quite capable of taking care of myself. As for his ability to converse and make people comfortable, I readily acknowledge that he is able to run his mouth with great ease. What do they call that? An engine mouth?”

 

“I believe the term is motor mouth.” Agent Evert responded tersely.

 

The two IA agents looked at one another beginning to see the pattern emerge and the pieces started to fall in place. The picture was not a pretty one. Agent Brewster leaned forward. 

 

“So you feel that another agent would have conducted the interviews in a way that was far more professional?”

 

“Yes. I am a spy. Mossad trained.” Ziva proudly stated. “Gaining information is a specialty skill that I have honed over the years. Perhaps a more effective agent could have and should have been chosen, but that is neither here or there. He was the one chosen and I just did my job to the best of my abilities from then on.”

 

“When did you realize that you lost contact? That Agent DiNozzo had become silent?”

 

Ziva appeared to be deep in thought, studiously trying to be exact. “Maybe a couple hours in would be my best guess. Time stands still when all you’re doing is listening to ramblings. Agent McGee and I realized we hadn’t heard Agent DiNozzo’s voice. Then we noticed that the coms appeared to be malfunctioning.”

 

Agent Brewster spoke up. “So you heard him converse with the neighbors for awhile, say two hours give, or take?”

 

“Yes.” Ziva emphatically stated. “The conversations were inane and trivial, I lost track of time.”

 

Agent Brewster continued the line of questioning. “You didn’t find it odd that suddenly there was no talking to be heard when the whole point of this assignment was to obtain voice prints? That would seem to be quite noticeable.”

 

“I tuned it out, it was boring. I began to think of other things.” Ziva smiled. “The conversations were in no way stimulating. I finally understood what the phrase ‘exciting as watching paint dry‘ meant.”

 

Agent Evert’s eyes narrowed. “Agent McGee and you were assigned as his back up; it was not the time to ‘tune out’ or find better things to occupy your mind. You were working; investigating a murder and hunting for a possible terrorist cell, not sitting in a room watching ’paint dry’ as you so eloquently stated. So you’re stating for the record that you ‘’thought of other things”? Those are the words you used to describe your own actions, am I correct?”

 

Ziva tried to backtrack and reason, her voice clearly angry. “It was not quite like that, we were watching his back. Time slipped away and we both lost track of time. Then we realized we had lost him. We called Agent Gibbs and he came out right away.”

 

Agent Brewster nodded. “He came out to find Tony. Did he ask you how long it had been since you heard his voice?”

 

“Yes. And McGee and I tried to be as clear as possible. But as I said, time slipped away and we were not watching a clock.”

 

Agent Evert was trying to keep his composure and finding it difficult after everything they had found out.

 

“We certainly understand that there was not a clock to watch. But we appreciate you and Agent McGee trying to be clear.” He shot a look at Agent Brewster as he began to gather the equipment. “You are to remain here. There may be further questions after we look over some things. A guard will be posted outside your door.”

 

Ziva nodded and sat back in the chair seemingly at ease.

 

The two men exited the door and the guard returned to his post. As they walked away from the room, they turned to one another.

 

“It is very clear that they worked on their timelines. They were nearly word for word. And again, she didn’t inquire about Agent DiNozzo.” Agent Brewster shook his head.

 

“Next we need to go back and talk to McGee and bring forth the evidence regarding the tampering and see what he has to say about that. What do you think?”

 

“I think they will both try and find a way to shove each other under the bus. It will be telling and they still don’t realize the full scope of their actions.”

 

“The JAG advocate may be here by now. We need to let the Director and JAG know what we have before we move forward. Don’t know whether the advocate will want to sit in on it or not.”

 

“Let’s rock and roll then. Maybe the Director has word on Tony as well.”

 

“I sure as hell hope the news is good. This is a clusterfuck of a situation.” They headed for the Director’s office.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Ziva sat thinking about the line of questioning, trusting that her Mossad skills helped her come across as clear and concise. She could only hope that McGee with his limited ability could handle the two IA investigators. 

 

She did wish that they had more time to have played with the coms, but she noted that McGee was extremely careful as he cut the wires.

 

Then a light bulb went on - the knives. That was why they were requested. Abby must have found signs of tampering. Ziva allowed a smile to come across her face. No matter, it was not her knife that did the deed. They could not place the blame for that on her.

 

Perhaps Abby was simply following protocol. She snickered; well there was a first time for everything. But if the scientist was going by the book, asking for the knives was the next logical step. It was doubtful that there was anything to be found on McGee’s knife anyway.

 

And if it came down to it, certainly her father would help his only remaining child. She was always the apple of his eye. She sneered; they had no idea of what her father was truly capable of. 

 

She had nothing to worry about, nothing at all.


	7. Chapter - 7 - JAG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks and tons of hugs to my Beta Amy!

Cynthia smiled at the imposing man before her. 

 

“The Director is expecting you, go right in.”

 

Returning her smile, he headed to the door, knocking before opening it, “Thank you.”

 

Vance looked at the man, puzzled, “Aren’t you retired?”

 

Smiling, he shrugged, “Was. This case was not one I could let anyone else handle. As soon as I heard about it, I made some phone calls. You know as well as I that you never truly retire from the Navy. They granted me special dispensation.”

 

The man sighed and looked at Vance. “Is there any word on Tony? How is he?”

 

Vance pulled out a toothpick and brought it to his lips. “The last report I had was about two hours ago and it is still touch and go. He lost so much blood, his body is struggling. They lost him a couple of times, but the doctors feel that if he can hang on for a few hours he has a shot.”

 

“Won’t be easy, Ducky says his injuries are grave and it’s a wonder he’s alive at all Going to be a long road ahead and I want this part of it taken care of before he even is aware. How the hell do you think he’s going to take that his own team left him on his own?” Clamping down on the toothpick so hard it snapped, Vance sighed as he removed it.

 

“I hope that by showing him we have his back and take this seriously, it will aide in the healing. Don’t think for a moment that I believe it will be that easy. His trust is going to be shattered. Everything he has believed in has been turned upside down. For all of us really. The violence may have been perpetrated by an unknown assailant, but the real damage was done by people in our group.”

 

“You know that I want to be the one to bring up the charges as well as the one person who publically informs them of what transpired, right? We can legally do that correct? And Director David wants it broadcast to Mossad as well.”

 

The other man nodded. “We looked up the legalities and there are no issues. It is no different from the court and town arrest blotters and their list offenses and offenders. Once they are charged with a crime their right to privacy has ended.” He raised an eyebrow. “Director David wants to broadcast this, seriously?”

 

Vance smirked. “Wants to send a clear message across Mossad, that he won’t tolerate such actions, even from his daughter.”

 

“Is she aware of her father’s stance?”

 

“No, he asked that she not be made aware.”

 

He let out a whistle. “Wow. That is going to change her attitude tout de suite.”

 

Vance nodded. “Just how did you hear about this?”

 

Taking a deep breath before he answered, “It has caused quite a stir, the mere disregard for protocol and leaving a man without back up. We may be a bunch of legal eagles, but we’re also military and have counted on our team watching our backs during tight spots. This hits us at our core.”

 

“Everyone wanted this case. Hell, there were so many hands doing the research on what other charges could be brought up, I am certain that every legal case file has been, at the very least, glanced over and law books all over Washington, D.C. taken off shelves.”

 

“But I have a personal interest in this case. I first met Tony when he was a young boy. His class from his Military Academy was on a field trip to Annapolis to see where their military careers might take them. Back then I was just Harm Rabb, a young man looking forward to piloting the big birds and didn’t really give a great deal of thought to the kids.”

 

“Until you met Tony?” The Director asked.

 

Harm chuckled. “He was all arms and legs and gangly as all get out, but you could see he was going to be tall. A bit shy and reserved until he knew you and then he would talk your ear off about anything and everything. There was just something about him that drew you to him. I had a shadow the entire time they were there visiting. One of the chaperones took me aside and thanked me and tried to vaguely explain that he had never taken to anyone so quickly before.”

 

“I told him that it was fine and that he was a good kid. Got a very brief background and I filled in the blanks and kind of adopted him. We became pen pals for lack of a better word and I would visit when I could. Was able to attend a few games when he was in college, watched him graduate, and have been damn proud of the man he became.”

 

“What happened to him was unconscionable. Word came into JAG about the case and Bud called me right away. He was aware of my association with Tony and wanted me to know what happened. Flew out here as soon as I could and as soon as we get this end squared away I am going to the hospital.”

 

Vance looked at his watch. “They should be done with the interviews, or rather the first set. At this moment neither Agent McGee nor David are aware of what happened to Tony. They have spun a story about the coms not functioning and are yet unaware of what Miss Scuito has discovered.”

 

Harm’s eyes narrowed. “These agents are part of the premier investigative team and work with Agent Gibbs?”

 

“Yes. Why?”

 

“Well Leon, I have trouble understanding how two investigators on a top team believe that no one will find out their subterfuge. That they think there is no evidence of their tampering.”

 

Vance held out his hands in surrender. “I agree. But right now, I believe they are buying their own propaganda and through their arrogance, they are blind. I am sure Agent David believes that if there is an issue, her father will swoop in and get her out safely. And Agent McGee believes that his computer skills somehow will protect him, that he is far too valuable to be in any serious trouble.”

 

“Have they asked about Tony? His whereabouts? What happened? Anything?”

 

“At last conversation with IA, no. Not one inquiry.”

 

“You have to be fucking kidding me.” He was becoming enraged. “This is his team; people he considers his family. What about Gibbs, Ducky and Abby? How are they?”

 

“Agent Gibbs is at the hospital and I dare say won’t be leaving it anytime soon. Dr. Mallard is with him and the one keeping me appraised of Tony’s medical condition. Abby-“, Vance sighed, “She is working the case and nearing the end of her rope.”

 

“She is torn between wanting to make sure that every ‘i’ is dotted and every ‘t’ crossed and getting to the hospital. This has shaken them to their core. I believe the only thing keeping Gibbs from killing Agent David and McGee is the fact that he won’t leave Tony. That and Miss Scuito and Dr. Mallard would want to help him and that is something he couldn’t live with.”

 

Harm looked Vance in the eye and the Director was taken aback by the cold rage that filled them. “I understand the sentiment.” 

 

The ringing of Vance’s office phone shook both men out of their thoughts.

 

“Director Vance here.”

 

“Go ahead and send them in. Thank you Cynthia.” Hanging up the phone, he turned back to Harm. 

 

“The IA agents have finished their initial interrogations and I thought we should meet and discuss how to handle the second round with all that we now know. Do you want to take part or sit on the sidelines until the big boom?”

 

Harm grimaced. “I want to be in there, but at this moment not sure I can keep my cool.”

 

Vance nodded. “I understand.”

 

The doors opened and Agents Brewster and Evert walked into the office. Tension rolled off both men. Vance motioned to the conference table. “Let’s sit down and see where we are and where we want to go.” Everyone sat down at the table.

 

Vance looked at the IA agents. “Agent Brewster and Evert, I would like you to meet Captain Harmon Rabb from JAG. He will be the one bringing charges against Agents McGee and David. He may sit in on your next interviews. That has yet to be determined.” 

 

Turning to Harm, “Captain Rabb, these are Agents Brewster and Evert from IA who have been conducting the interviews. Though we all have heard of one another I decided a formal introduction was needed.” His eyes narrowed at the IA agents. “I am going to guess that the interview with Agent David was a mirror of Agent McGee’s.”

 

Agent Brewster nodded. “Nearly identical, only variance was due to their different backgrounds. There is no way that they didn’t go over what happened to get their stories straight.”

 

What truly bothers me the most, and trust me there is a great deal that bothers me about this whole case,” Agent Evert’s voice grew cold as he continued, “is the fact that neither Agents McGee or David have asked about Tony. Not one inquiry. How is that even possible?”

 

Vance sighed. “I don’t pretend to understand why that is. Regardless of any personal feelings, you would think that as his partner and teammate, they would be concerned.”

 

Harm’s jaw twitched. “Yes. You would.” He took a deep breath and tried to get his emotions under control.

 

The sound of Harm’s fist slamming against the table startled them all and everyone jumped. 

 

Harm looked at the others and flexed the fist he just slammed into the table. “I am worried and damn pissed at this whole scenario. Something had to give and that seemed the most expedient way to relieve a bit of my stress.”

 

Agent Evert looked at Harm. “No need to apologize. I guarantee I’ll be hitting the gun range after today and if I know Brew here, he will hit the gym.”

 

Agent Brewster nodded. “This whole case goes against everything that I have been taught to believe in from the Corps to being an agent. You always, without fail, have your partner’s and teammate’s back.”

 

Vance nodded. “So what’s next gentlemen?”

 

“We go in with the evidence and see what they say, still not giving them any information about Tony. We confront them with the reports and pictures that Abby compiled along with the recording of their conversations. See how they are able to reconcile facts with the stories that they both spun.” Agent Brewster turned to Agent Evert.

 

“They will more than likely turn on one another and try to backtrack and blame one another. Technically that adds to their already burning inferno. Then, when JAG is ready to file the charges and arrest them, we bring out the full arsenal. Show them the pictures of the crime scene, Tony’s taped conversation, and requests for back up. And then detail the list of his injuries.”

 

Harm thought for a moment. “I like that. They have already dug a deep hole; there is no getting out of it. The end will come with a bang and not a whimper, Tony would like that. He sighed. “He’s not going to handle this well at all when he learns of their betrayal and how they have acted.”

 

“And what about Director David? Is he going to try and whisk his daughter out of here before the shit hits the fan?” Agent Evert asked.

 

Vance shook his head. “He wants to publically broadcast the list of charges and her arrest to all of Mossad. He will not be condoning her actions.”

 

Harm looked at Vance. “What about the perpetrators of the crime itself? Do we have them in custody?”

 

“Yes. Agent Balboa and his team picked them up. They have been questioned and turned over to the state to await their trial.”

 

The table was silent as they each contemplated all the information. Justice was going to be served and there would be no mercy.


	8. Chapter - 8 - Balboa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't say enough about my Beta Amy! I love her dearly!

Balboa walked up to the door and signaled his team to get ready as he knocked on the door. Waiting for a few seconds, he was ready to announce himself when the door was opened by a very disheveled and angry man.

 

“What!” He shouted at the figures at the door. “Whatever you’re selling, I ain’t buying so get the hell away from my door.”

 

Balboa took in his appearance and put two and two together.

 

“Afraid I’m not selling anything sir.” He said with barely controlled anger. “As a matter of fact I am Agent Balboa from NCIS here to escort you and your wife Eileen to the Navy Yard for questioning. You are Carl Islander and your wife is Eileen Islander, correct? So…do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?”

 

The man finally noticed the badge and the gun. Swallowing he took a step backwards and was ready to close the door in the face of the agents when he was suddenly thrust up against the wall, his hands yanked behind his back and cuffed.

 

“Ok, you want the hard way. Now, one of my Agents is going to go get your wife and you’re coming with us. I have some questions for you regarding an Agent DiNozzo.” He pulled him off the wall and handed him over to Agent Onslow.

 

“Put him in the car and wait with him.”

 

Agent Onslow started directing the cuffed man to the car.

 

“I don’t know an Agent DiNozzo. This has to be a mistake. I have been with my wife all morning. Ask her.” His eyes bulged out as he saw the NCIS tow truck pull up to his garage and the garage door rise.

 

“You can’t touch my property. I have rights.”

 

“You’ve got nothing actually. We, however, have a search warrant and can legally take the car to our evidence garage and search it. You know, test it for trace evidence and all that.” Agent Onslow watched as the man deflated a bit. Fear could be felt coursing off his body. 

 

“Shit.” He whispered thinking he wouldn’t be heard.

 

Agent Onslow smiled as he placed the man in the backseat of the car and securely buckled him in. “You have no idea. The Agent that you say you have no knowledge of, well his boss is a Gunny, was a Marine sniper. If I were you I would start worrying, he protects his own with a vengeance.”

 

“Told you, I don’t know anything.”

 

“Well then you have nothing to worry about. You answer our questions and though you will be charged with attempting to evade a federal officer, you will be set free.”

 

The secured man practically shouted. “I was not evading anything! I was moving back to let you enter my home.”

 

Agent Onslow shook his head and chuckled. “Yeah, right.” And shut the door.

 

In the house, Agent Felt was coming downstairs with an irate woman who was hastily dressed.

 

“What is this about? This woman told me that I needed to put clothes on so that I could go to NCIS and answer questions. What is NCIS?”

 

Balboa smirked. “Are you Eileen Islander?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“We need to question you in a criminal investigation regarding one Agent DiNozzo. NCIS stands for Naval Criminal Investigative Services of which Agent DiNozzo is a part. Your husband is in a car waiting to be transported there as well. Agent Felt will escort and secure you in a car.”

 

“I haven’t done anything. I have been with my husband all morning”, she sneered at the agents, “As you can plainly see by my earlier attire.”

 

Balboa’s eyes narrowed as he sent her a cold look. “We shall see.” Looking at his Agent, “Load her up and let’s get them to the Navy Yard. Agents Black, Sanchez, and Wright will stay and take care of the crime scene.” He watched as Eileen swallowed hard when she realized they knew something.

 

He called to the three remaining Agents. “I’ll see you back at the yard when you’re through. Make it count; this is for one of our own. Every ‘i’ needs to be dotted and every ‘t’ crossed. I know we always do our best work for every case, but I want to make sure that we have Tony’s six covered.” 

 

The three remaining agents called out, “For Tony”.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

The drive to the yard was silent as Carl tried to figure out what they may or may not know. He was certain that he and Eileen had cleaned the area really well with that industrial strength cleaner. He figured they had to be looking for that man; the one he thought was fucking his wife. 

 

He couldn’t remember the name the man had given him or even what he said, really. Then again, maybe it was about something else, and he didn’t need to worry. If he kept his cool, it would be ok. They had nothing on him or Eileen.

 

He was startled as the car came to a stop at the gate entrance of the NCIS headquarters. He’d never heard of them, not that he knew about every part of the government. Probably just another way for them to waste money, he thought. His door was opened and Agent Balboa released his restraints and pulled him out of the car.

 

“Where’s my wife? Is she alright?”

 

“Not your real concern right now. However, she is being taken to an interrogation room, same as you will be.”

 

“Why don’t you call me by my name you arrogant prick? I know that you know it, make you feel like a big man to ignore it? Acting all superior and righteous as you lead me around in cuffs through the building.”

 

Balboa narrowed his eyes at the man. “You are Carl Islander and your wife is Eileen Islander. You reside at 626 Morning Glory in the community of Royal Woods. I see no need to call you by your given name. Now let’s go answer some questions.”

 

Carl looked around as he was escorted to through the building. He could feel all the anger that was rolling off nearly every person that he passed. If looks could have killed, he certainly would have been dead.

 

Balboa leaned to whisper in his ear. “You think that’s bad? You just better pray they don’t let Gibbs near you. I have no doubt that he could actually kill with a glance.” He led him to an empty interrogation room and sat him in a chair.

 

“Do I get my cuffs off at least?”

 

Balboa shook his head no. “Be right back.” Balboa left for a brief moment to grab the file that had the pictures of Carl and Eileen leaving in their car and a few other key pieces of evidence. It was show time.

 

Balboa walked back into the room. “So Mr. Islander, where were you at 9:45 this morning?”

 

“I was with my wife. Clearly even you could see what we had been up to, I mean you are an investigator and all that.” Carl sneered.

 

“That I am.” He pulled out a picture of the two of them in the car with the date stamp. “And being a good investigator I can tell you that though you were with your wife at that time, you are driving away in a car. And note the date and time stamp along with the fact that neither of you seem to be engaged in marital relations when the picture was snapped.”

 

“That has to be wrong. I was in bed.”

 

“Nope. Try again. I have pictures taken by various traffic cameras this morning.” Balboa smirked. “God, I love technology, don’t you? And you are clearly driving away. Want to know where you headed to?”

 

“No.” Carl’s turned his gaze to the table, clearly shaken by the pictures.

 

“To a field about forty five minutes from your house. By the way, we have the bloody clothes that you left with Agent DiNozzo’s badly injured body.”

 

“I didn’t drop off any body and those sure as hell ain’t my clothes.”

 

“See, again you’re incorrect. Our forensic scientist will be here shortly to take a blood sample from you. All the blood on the clothes left at the body dump was not just Agent DiNozzo’s. And judging by that bruise on your jaw and cheek I am betting he gave as good as he got. Anyway, she will match and type the blood and will be able to see if it is indeed yours. I guarantee it’s a match, so do you want to try again?”

 

‘I still don’t know who you are even talking about.”

 

Balboa’s voice became dangerous as he filled Carl in. “Agent DiNozzo is a federal agent. He was at your house this morning conducting a routine investigation when you attacked him, believing he was the one pursuing your wife. And as he hit his head, you began to unleash your rage upon his prone form.”

 

“You stabbed him sixteen times, kicked him in the torso hard enough to leave a boot print, and continued to use your fists even though he was unable to fight back. Want to hear the best part?”

 

“What?”

 

“It’s all on tape. Agent DiNozzo was wired and everything you did and said has been captured for posterity.”

 

“I need a lawyer.” Carl whispered.

 

“You’ll need more than that.” Balboa growled.


	9. Chapter 9 - Bethesda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amy...I love you! Thank you for all your hard work!

Abby was working on shutting down her lab equipment, or her “babies”, as she liked to call them, and was finally going to be able to get to the hospital to see Tony. She needed to see that he was alive and to touch base with Gibbs and Ducky. Being here and processing the evidence was where she knew that she needed to be, but her heart hurt and she needed soothing that only getting to the hospital would be able to provide.

 

Hearing the door slide opened she sighed as she prepared to have her plans to leave thwarted. Her eyes spoke the volumes of the sadness and worry she was feeling as she raised them meeting green eyes that mirrored her concern with his own.

 

“Harm!” She cried as she ran into his out stretched arms taking comfort in his strength. “I tried to reach you and couldn’t.” She let go of all that she had been holding back; tears of anger, worry, and desolation because of the situation. 

 

“I was on my way here Abs. Not letting Tony go through this alone.” Holding her tightly against him, he whispered, “I’ve got you, let it go”. Never loosening his grip, he softly uttered comforting words knowing that when she was ready, they would reach her.

 

“He’s going to be all right. We’ll take care of him, no doubt about that. I’ll take care of those that put him in that situation.” She began to calm down, her sobs subsiding as she released the torrent of emotions that she’d been holding in since this started. 

 

“I need to see him. I’m finished up here. When did you get here? When we had dinner at Tony’s last time you said you were going sailing for an extended period.” Then all of his words hit her. “How are you going to take care of them?”

 

“I took the case, special dispensation. And the sailing can wait; Tony’s more important. Never thought I would have to help in a situation like this though. How’s Gibbs taking it?”

 

Abby sighed. “Right now he won’t leave the hospital, so everything is bottled up with no place to go. He knows everything and I am sure he is ready to go all sniper on them. Ducky is trying to keep him from doing that.” Her eyes narrowed. “But I get it. This is the first time, well besides Chip, that I have wanted to use my forensic knowledge for the wrong side of the law.”

 

“I want to accept that prison will be enough punishment and that the laws work, but this is Tony. He nearly died Harm, several times. I want to hurt them, make them suffer for every ounce of pain and every mark that was inflicted on him. Then I will want to start all over again when he realizes what they did to him and has to hurt all over again.”

 

“I know and I get it. But I will make sure they pay and are given no dispensation for being federal agents. And besides, you know how much worse Tony would feel if any of you carried out that sort of revenge on his behalf. We’ll make sure he knows he’s not alone and we will get him through this, without any of his family heading off to prison.”  
“Let’s get to the hospital so we can see him, I need to see that he is alive. Might stop and get Gibbs and Ducky some food and coffee. It will be one less thing that they have to think about.”

 

Abby nodded. “He did ask that I bring him some clothes and stuff. Maybe we could stop at Tony’s and pick up a couple of things for him too.”

 

Harm agreed. “His music for one. That usually helps him when he’s going through a rough time.” 

 

Abby grabbed Bert as they headed out to the one place they both needed to be.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

After making stops at both Gibbs and Tony’s places and picking up food, they were finally pulling into the Bethesda hospital parking lot. Turning off the car they both sat frozen, unable to get out of the car knowing what they were going to see when they saw Tony.

 

“Come on.” Harm said as he got out and began grabbing the bags that they had acquired. 

 

Abby grabbed the rest of the bags and the drinks and they headed inside. The need to be close and offer whatever help and support they could far overshadowed their fear of seeing Tony as injured as he was. Making their way quickly to ICU, they saw Gibbs and Ducky outside of a room intently watching whatever was happening inside. 

 

Abby’s gut churned with worry as Brad walked out of the room, but relaxed slightly when she saw his smile. If he was smiling, it couldn’t be all bad news, right? Gibbs turned at their arrival and gave them both a weak and tired smile.

 

“Abs, glad you’re here”, taking the bags from her hand, setting them down before engulfing her in a hug. “You did a great job Abs. I’m proud of you.” He whispered. Turning to Harm, he stuck out his hand unable to release Abby even if he had wanted to.

 

“Good to see you.” Gibbs tilted his head towards Brad. “Not sure if you remember Brad from when Tony had the plague, but he’s his doctor.”

 

Harm smiled at Brad. “Damn straight I remember the doctor that saved Tony from dying from the plague. How’s he doing?” 

 

Brad looked at the group. “He’s hanging in there. His heartbeat is strong and right now, his vitals are as well. Very pleased about his heart after the last scare. I’m leaving him on the vent as I don’t want to stress his body. But if he keeps status quo over night, he will have increased his odds of having a full recovery.”

 

If it was possible to feel relief as a tangible force, it was then and there as the air around the group seemed lighter and filled with more hope than they had dared dream.

 

“I’ll be back in an hour or so to check again. I have arranged for the rules to be bent for him, he needs all of you there. Now and when he becomes aware.” Brad’s eyes narrowed. “He’s a fighter. Keep talking to him Gibbs, you always seem to bring out the best in the man and I have no doubts that you will get him through this.”

 

Brad left and the group let the news settle.

 

“Ducky. I’m sorry I didn’t say hello before.” Harm started to say.

 

“Never mind Harmon, we were all waiting the news that Bradley shared. Think nothing of it. I am just glad that you’re here. Abigail and I tried to reach you and were unsuccessful.” Ducky looked at the man over his glasses. “I take it that you are here for more than one reason?”

 

Harm’s green eyes narrowed in anger. “You got that right; I received a special dispensation and will be the JAG prosecuting McGee and David.”

 

“How did you get past the possible conflict of interest, my dear boy?”

 

“He’s not blood family. Not like everyone at JAG didn’t want the case. They know the man and have respected him since he cleared my name all those years ago. Hell, he’s worked with most of them there at one time or another and always made a point to ask how they are. You know how he is.” Harm smiled. “And well, I called in a few favors.”

 

Gibbs smiled. “Feel real good about you being on the case. No chance in hell they will slip through your fingers.” Gibb nodded towards Tony’s door. “Go…I’ll be there in a minute.”

 

He looked at the mass of bags on the floor. “Abs? I asked for a couple of things…”

 

Abby lifted her head off his shoulder and stepped out of his arms. “There is dinner for all of us, Tony’s iPod, some movies and a DVD player, clothes and stuff for you and Bert to keep you company. I wanted to bring some comforts of home to him as well. His OSU blanket and stuff.” 

 

“Sound perfect Abigail. I should imagine those things will help Anthony immensely. Jethro can play the music while he sits with him and they chat. And dinner smells wonderful; I dare say I was unaware of how hungry I am.”

 

“Go in with Harm and see Anthony while Jethro and I get this set up. He won’t be moving to a regular room anytime soon I am afraid. However as Bradley pointed out he is on the road to recovery. Baby steps they may be, but they are steps in the right direction.”

 

Abby walked slowly into Tony’s room and to his bedside as silent tears rolled down her face. He looked so pale and small with the mass of wires coming out of his body in every possible direction. She gained strength by watching the steady blip of the heart monitor as she laid her hand gently on his face.

 

Harm stood on the opposite side and squeezed Tony’s hand as he finished evaluating his condition.

 

“Tony, Abby is here now too. Lots of people need you here. I miss you buddy. Been too long since we’ve gotten together for beer and a game. I plan on rectifying that as soon as I can.” Harm smiled at Abby encouraging her to speak.

 

She sighed as she struggled to find her voice. “I missed you like crazy when I wasn’t here. Had a lot to do. But I brought Bert to help you and Gibbs. You’re gonna have to share him though, I mean the Bossman may need a hug too. You just keep fighting to get better and come home.” She bent her head down to press a kiss to his cheek. “I love you.”

 

Standing she grabbed Bert from the bags that Ducky and Gibbs had brought inside the room. “See? Bert will make it better. He has my special mojo. He helped me today…helped me get through what I needed to do and now he can help you.” She laid him out of the way so that the hippo could watch over her friend.

 

“Seems you have a magical hippo looking over you now Tony. Gibbs, Ducky, and I are here for the long haul. Maybe when you get better you can get Gibbs to teach me about boats and instead of sailing with a group, I can do it with all of us. A vacation. Hell, I bet Gibbs has forgotten what those are.”

 

Harm laughed as he saw Gibbs narrow his eyes at him. “Can you deny it?” Harm’s eyes got a mischievous glint in them. 

 

“I remember what they are, just haven’t taken one. Actually sounds like a good idea.” Abby gasped in shock.

 

“Gibbs…vacation…” Abby grinned. “Wow.”

 

Ducky watched the interaction smiling. Yes, this would be just what Anthony needed when this was all over and he was physically well enough to deal with the betrayal. He wondered if Harm had picked up on the feelings the men had for one another. Abigail would quickly as he was certain she already suspected. 

 

Gibbs moved closer to Tony and stroked his arm as he had been doing every time he was with the man. “Huh, no one thinks I can relax, I guess we’ll just have to show them Tony. Can be our first vacation together.” Gibbs raised his eyes waiting for his comment to be understood. Abby’s eyes widened and she had a huge smile on her face. Ducky was thrilled that Jethro was opening up and sharing and Harm smiled and winked.

 

“Bout damn time don’t you think?”

 

Gibbs smiled softly. “Yep.”


	10. Chapter 10- McGee's Second Chance in Interrogation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amy...I thank you so much for all your hard work! You're a wonderful Beta!

Agent Evert looked at his partner and sighed. “Time for round two.”

 

“Can’t wait to hear what Agent McGee is going to say when presented with the evidence. How do you think it’s going to play out?”

 

Evert looked at his partner. “I think at first there will be an attempt to back track and change his story and then I see him trying to find a way to blame Agent David for his tampering with the coms.”

 

“Agreed. How do you want to start the questioning then?” Brewster asked. “Maybe we should recount his earlier statements giving him a chance to either come clean or tighten the noose.”

 

Evert nodded. “That is what I was thinking. Go over his statement and ask if it is correct. I don’t foresee him changing his story, but it will give him the opportunity to speak the truth before we hit him with the facts.”

 

Brewster chuckled bitterly. “I don’t really believe that he will be forthcoming with the truth, but if he acts as I believe he will, reinforcing his previous statement and standing firmly by it before the facts are laid out before him, it will go a long way in the case against him. I expect to see the same reaction out of Agent David as well.”

 

Brewster sighed. “At the moment, I am thoroughly disgusted to share the title “Agent” with those two. It sickens me.”

 

“I know and believe me I am sure that agents everywhere share that sentiment. We just need to get through these next interrogations and we can go take out our own anger elsewhere.” Evert looked over at his partner with total understanding.

 

Brewster nodded. “Just the more I hear, the harder it is to control my frustration with those two. I want to shake them until they get some sense. Come clean…take responsibility for their actions…something…anything…”

 

Evert shook his head sadly. “That is the one thing I don’t believe is possible. If there were any chance of either of them coming to their senses, they would have inquired about Tony or started to show the strains of guilt. And that just ain’t happening.” He took a deep breath and grabbed the evidence they had assembled from the conference table.

 

“Come on. Let’s go get started. Agent McGee first, then David.”

 

Brewster stood up and rolled his shoulders desperate to relieve some of the tension that was building up. “Let’s do this.”

 

Checking to make sure the technician was recording, they headed to the door gave a brief knock and entered.

 

Tim looked up and smiled. “This mean I am free to get back to work?” he directed his question at both IA Agents.

 

Swallowing his anger at the question, Agent Evert looked at the man with a serious frown. “Not quite yet. Need to go over your statement regarding today’s events again and make sure that we have it right; and as before this will be recorded, via both video and audio.”

 

McGee moved his hands in a rolling ‘get on with it’ motion. “Fine.”

 

Narrowing his eyes Agent Brewster looked down at the notes. “You state that you and Agent David are acting as back up for Agent DiNozzo in the Royal Woods neighborhood while he attempts to obtain voice prints from everyone, correct?”

 

McGee nodded. “Yes.”

 

Agent Brewster continued, “You lost track of time and ‘tuned out’ his voice during this op and at some undisclosed time, which you approximate to be two hours, you notice that it had been too quiet and call Agent Gibbs believing Agent DiNozzo to be ‘lost’. Is that correct?”

 

McGee looked at Agents Brewster and Evert. “Yes, that is correct. Can’t give you an exact time, but two hours give or take is right. I did tune To--Agent DiNozzo out and lost track of time. I admit that I should have been more astute and paid more attention but it was boring conversation.” Tim started to smile until he looked at the two Agents and felt the air shift in the room around him.

 

Had they found out about tampering with the coms? That was easy enough to fix, every one knew Ziva’s reputation as an Alpha bitch, and he could turn it around and say that she had him do it. That was certainly believable.

 

Agent Evert took a deep breath and asked quietly. “You stand by the statement that you have given and swear that it is true concerning the events that are in question?”

 

Puzzled by the question as he expected them to say more, McGee thought that maybe he had misread the air in the room. “Yes. I stand by my statement and swear the events I have recounted to be true.” Beginning to relax believing that the inquiry was over, McGee sat back in his seat.

 

“Well Agent McGee, that may be the way you have chosen to remember the events of the morning, but I have a file in front of me that paints quite a different picture. And the only thing that the evidence has in common with your statement is that you were indeed there with Agents DiNozzo and David and that you were assigned to be Agent DiNozzo’s back up.”

 

McGee looked confused. “What is different? I admitted that I tuned Agent DiNozzo out and wasn’t sure of the time frame.”

 

His voice cold as he pulled out the transcript of the recording of the conversation between Agent McGee and David and handed it to the man. “Read this and then tell me what is different, Agent McGee. I believe you’ll see that it paints quite a different picture than your sworn statement.” Agent Evert watched the man read and begin to pale.

 

McGee tried to find his voice as the words jumped out from the page… “movie references, details about his dating life… I don’t know what Gibbs sees in him ….the head slaps. And we never need any…friend of the former Director …can barely type and knows nothing of computers. That. . . . tarnishing …degree … Phys Ed…was a cop before. … may have had a detective’s shield, but I think I had to have heard that wrong…. don’t see him being awarding any such thing…”

 

“I…how…”

 

“Seem to be at a loss for words Agent McGee. Didn’t have that problem while you were talking with Agent David about Agent DiNozzo.”

 

“How was this obtained? It was a private conversation between two people”, McGee ranted.

 

Agent Brewster shook his head. “Actually, no it was not. You were on an op during working hours. It was in no way a private conversation. Miss Scuito set all the coms to record everything so that she could insure that every voice was heard. After all, what if someone had stopped by your car to ask directions? Every word that was spoken was recorded.”

 

McGee’s eyes began twitching nervously. “Ok…so I said how I felt about Tony, don’t believe there is a crime in that. People are entitled to their opinions.”

 

“True. But there is more. Agent Evert handed Agent McGee another page.

 

“Is it necessary for me to read this a page at a time? I am quite capable of handling more.”

 

Agent Brewster lowered his voice to a near growl as he spoke. “I am sure that you are quite capable of many things. But how we choose to find the answers that we need concerning the events of the morning is not your concern. Do I make myself clear?”

 

McGee nodded as he read the paper handed to him. Shit! He read the lines over and over and tried to think of a way to explain the words spoken. Surely, the Director would help him. Gibbs needed him and Tony always forgave everybody. Right?

 

“I see that you’ve read that damning sentence.” Agent Brewster looked McGee in the eye and read from memory. “We’re sorry for turning you off.”

 

Agent Evert spoke clearly. “You didn’t lose track of time or ‘tune out’ Agent DiNozzo. You and Agent David turned off your coms. You turned your back on your partner, left him without back up, and lied about it under oath. What do you have to say now?”

 

McGee fidgeted with his hands as he tried to come up with a plausible excuse. “It was a joke” he whispered. “We were just tired of hearing his voice. He plays jokes all the time, why shouldn’t we?”

 

“Has he ever endangered your life with one of his jokes? Caused you to be unsafe or without proper back up? Sent you in a dangerous situation unprepared?”

 

McGee shook his head. “No. No, he hasn’t. It got out of hand, time flew by fast. But the coms had to be malfunctioning. We lost track of Agent DiNozzo and he didn’t respond.”

 

Agent Evert looked at McGee with disdain. “Seriously? That is the next avenue you want to go down? Ok.” Pulling out the forensics reports on the coms, he handed them to McGee. “Read this.”

 

McGee read over Abby’s thorough report and if possible sank deeper into his chair wishing that he could disappear.

 

Emulating the ‘get on with it’ motion that McGee had cockily used earlier, he asked, “Malfunctioning?”

 

“Ziva made me do it.” McGee blurted out. “She went all Mossad on me and insisted that I take care of things.”

 

“What part of the coms were recording everything did you not understand?” Agent Brewster was quickly losing his cool. 

 

McGee sat up straight in his chair and glanced at Agent Brewster. “I understood completely and there is no need to talk down to me like I am an uneducated idiot. I have a degree, several in fact.”

 

“Then perhaps with your aforementioned degrees you will be able to explain this.” Agent Brewster handed him another transcript page.

 

McGee read the page and the arrogance that had made him sit straight in the chair after his outburst disappeared as quickly as it came. The words glared at him…. “Ziva, give me your com.” He couldn’t think up an excuse for that one. He said that and any idea he had regarding placing the blame on Ziva was now null and void. 

 

“Anything to say Agent McGee?” Agent Evert asked.

 

“No.”

 

“So it won’t surprise you that Miss Scuito found trace from the coms on your knife? And proof that the coms were indeed tampered with?”

 

McGee sighed. “No.”

 

“Is there anything you would like to say?”

 

“It was a joke.” McGee said in a small voice. “Tony will understand when we explain it to him.” He looked up at the Agents. “I’ll apologize.”

 

“Do you really think that will fix this?” Agent Brewster waved his hand over all the evidence.

 

“It will take time I’m sure. But there was no harm intended. Where is Tony? I imagine that he is waiting around to use this as a source for having me do menial tasks now.”

 

Both Agents fought to keep a blank face at the words McGee had just spoken, knowing that now was not the time to tell him what really happen to Tony. And as they exchanged a glance with one another, wondered how he would feel when all this was said and done and he knew the full ramifications of their actions. And more importantly, what he would do when he faced Gibbs.


	11. Balboa Interrogates Eileen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my most wonderful and awesome Beta Amy! She does indeed ROCK!

Balboa walked out of the interrogation room that held Carl and took a deep breath. He needed to go a few rounds at the gun range or with a punching bag after that. The man was an insufferable ass and keeping his cool was damn near impossible. Now he had the auspicious pleasure of going to interview his wife.

 

That promised to be just as distasteful. Looking at his watch, he wondered how Tony was. Abby had called just before he had gone in to interrogate Carl and asked if she could take the man’s blood after she had come back from seeing Tony at the hospital. 

 

Knowing how upset she had been earlier he assured her it was not a problem. The man wasn’t going anywhere and her getting to see Tony was more important. He felt better when she said she wasn’t going alone and that Harm wanted to see Tony as well before he came back and delved into the case more.

 

No matter what way it was looked at, it was a cluster fuck; agents disregarded protocols, leaving their partner without back up and a husband and wife who nearly fucked one another over Tony’s prone and seriously injured body. Squaring his shoulders and arranging the pictures back in the folder, he headed to the next interrogation room containing Eileen.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Eileen sat in the hard chair trying to get comfortable wondering how Carl was fairing. Carl was her knight in shining armor, always ready to defend her honor. What was she going to say when they asked her questions? She wasn’t a fool; she knew it had to be about that man that she had talked to in the driveway before she went for her walk, the one that Carl beat up to prove his dominance. 

 

She flirted with him, knowing Carl was watching. The fact he came back later or that Carl got possessively jealous was not her fault. She flushed a bit at the thought of what they did when they got back from dumping the man. Carl was so hot; he had never made love to her like that before.

 

She shook her head to bring her back to reality before she got too lost in those thoughts. She turned her head towards the door when she heard it opening. Schooling her features into her best sex kitten look, she waited to see what skills she would need to use to keep out of trouble. She watched as the man slowly sat down in the chair in front of her and calmly placed a folder on the table. Raising her eyes to meet his, she was at first taken aback at how handsome he was and but then quickly felt the urge to run away as fast as she could when she saw the carefully controlled rage in his eyes.

 

Immediately dropping her gaze back to the table, she tried to regain her calm demeanor and soft look that had always been an asset in the past. Perhaps she should play the part of a woman in distress. Maybe he would think her a victim as well and in need of protection; after all, Carl had been the one to commit the violent act. 

 

“So Mrs. Islander; or may I call you Eileen?” Balboa asked pleasantly.

 

“Eileen is fine.” Hearing his pleasant voice, she decided that she might be the right track after all. She just had to play her cards right and she could walk right out of there.

 

“Eileen, I am NCIS Agent Balboa. I need to ask you a few questions.”

 

“What for?”

 

“I need to ask you some questions in regard to an attempted murder of a federal officer.” He replied keeping his voice pleasant noticing he had her off kilter.

 

“But I don’t know anyone in the military; I don’t believe I can help you.” She answered demurely.

 

“That’s where you’re wrong Eileen. The Federal agent in question is an NCIS agent and I believe that you can indeed help me.”

 

“Where were you at 9:45 this morning?”

 

She tilted her head in thought. “I was with my husband.” She blushed as if in embarrassment. “He was quite frisky today. You interrupted us earlier as I am sure you could tell.”

 

“I noticed. However you’re not quite telling me the full story, are you Eileen? You were with your husband, but your, shall we call them ‘extracurricular activities’ didn’t happen until later.” His voice was tender and understanding. “Why don’t you try again?”

 

She looked up and smiled. “Well I may have the times a bit messed up; it was quite the special time between us.”

 

“Then let me tell you what you were doing since you lost track of time.” Balboa’s anger came out and she looked up in surprise as he pulled out a picture of the two of them in the car with the date stamp. “I can tell you that you were indeed with your husband at that time; however you were not having a ‘special time’, but in fact were in a moving car. And please note the date and time stamp. Neither of you seem to be engaged in marital relations when the picture was snapped”.

 

Eileen shrugged. “There has to be a mistake. I was with my husband and we were in bed together.”

 

“Nope. I have pictures taken by various traffic cameras this morning.” Balboa smirked. “You are clearly not in bed with your husband. In fact you don’t find your way there until later.”

 

“How…?”

 

Balboa’s smirk turned into a snarl. “There are traffic cameras all along that particular route and we have pictures of you and your husband from every one of them with date and time stamps to prove it. Want to know where you headed to?”

 

“No.” Eileen’s carefree exterior was beginning to crumble.

 

“To a field about forty-five minutes from your house.”

 

“No, I never went to a field, why would I?”

 

“Because you wanted to dump Agent DiNozzo’s body there before you went home and fucked like bunnies.”

 

Tears formed in her eyes as she realized all that they knew. The man was a federal agent, but she didn’t do anything, it was all Carl.

 

“I didn’t know why Carl wanted to go for a drive, he just asked and I went. Are you married?” Not receiving a response, she continued trying to spin her story. “Sometimes you do things for your spouse just because. He wanted to go for a ride and I agreed.” She looked at Balboa with tears streaming down her face.

 

“Tears won’t work on me Eileen. You may as well tell me the truth.” 

 

“I still don’t know who you are even talking about.”

 

Balboa’s voice became deadly as he filled Eileen in. “Agent DiNozzo is a federal agent. He was at your house this morning conducting a routine investigation. We have you down as speaking to him prior to ever going into your house. He met you on the sidewalk a few houses away.”

 

“I bet you wanted Carl to see you talking to a good looking man like Agent DiNozzo, wanted to make him jealous, so you flirted a little. From the view Carl would have had, he would have thought that there was more going on. Unfortunately, he ended up at your house as he conducted the investigation.”

 

“Carl attacked him, believing he was the one pursuing you, the one that you lied to him about. Carl took out all his rage and frustration on Agent DiNozzo, believing that he was going to take you away from him. But that really wasn’t true was it?”

 

Receiving no answer he continued, “He was stabbed sixteen times, kicked in the torso hard enough to leave a boot print, and was continually beaten though he was rendered unconscious.”

 

Eileen couldn’t believe all that she heard; how could they have known?

 

“You’re telling me that Carl did these things to that Agent and it’s my fault? I never laid a hand on the man.” Her voice hardened.

 

“That’s not quite true is it Eileen?” Balboa glared. “I know that you helped wrap up Agent DiNozzo and load him in the trunk of your car, the same car that is currently in our forensics locker being searched thoroughly for evidence. After you returned from dumping his body, you and your husband did end up in bed, but not before.”

 

“Carl is lying! I never-“

 

“Don’t bother with the bullshit Eileen. Would you like to know why?”

 

“Well I assume it’s because Carl said that I helped him, isn’t it? There is no other alternative.”

 

Balboa shook his head. “You’re wrong there Mrs. Islander.”

 

She jerked her head up in surprise at the name change. 

 

“So I am wrong, does this mean you’re going to fill me in or do I have to guess? All I know is that Carl is lying if he said that I had anything to do with this. You can’t just take his word for it.”

 

“Carl isn’t the only reason we know about your complicity with the attack on Agent DiNozzo. We have proof.”

 

She looked surprised.

 

“How?”

 

“It’s all on tape. Agent DiNozzo was wired and everything you did and said was recorded. We know everything and you will be formally charged.”

 

“No.”

 

Balboa smiled.

 

“Yes.”

 

“I need a lawyer.” She whispered.

 

“I’ll tell you just what I told Carl when he said the same exact thing.” Narrowing his eyes as his voice took a deadly edge, “You’ll need more than that”.


	12. Chapter 12 - Fornell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks and a whole lot of love to my Beta Amy!

Fornell was pissed; had been since he had been called into a conference with Vance, IA, SECNAV and his own boss. He couldn’t believe what he had been told. The story was sickening no matter how it was looked at. The whole scenario was beyond anything he could have imagined.

 

He read the transcripts that IA had so far and they weren’t through. They would be going back for the second interview with David soon. He was appalled after the first round and incensed after he read McGee’s second. The arrogance and the snide remarks were making his hands itch to throttle them both.

 

Did they really believe that he threatened Jethro to steal DiNozzo just to irritate the man? Hell, if it were even remotely possible, he would have that man on the FBI force at his six before the ink dried. But he also knew there was no chance in hell the man would leave Gibbs.

 

Right now, all he wanted was to take care of this for Jethro and DiNozzo. The FBI wasn’t taking over, they had left instructions that Balboa was to continue the interrogations, but being an attempted murder of a Federal agent laid the case in the FBI’s hands. He was damn glad about that. He had no issues with JAG handling McGee and David.

 

They were going to be lucky to walk out of the NCIS building in one piece. And frankly, he was rather impressed with the way SECNAV and Vance had chosen to handle this. Placing the whole story out in the open for all to see was sending a powerful message to everyone and left nowhere for McGee and David to hide.

 

But would that be enough to help DiNozzo find his way back? It was certainly not going to be easy for him to get past the fact that his partners, people he thought of as ‘friends’ left him without a form of back up. Hell, he wasn’t sure he could come back after something like that. All he hoped was that when the man saw everyone who went to bat for him and that this wasn’t going to be swept under the rug, it would begin the healing process.

 

Fornell thought about the reasons he came here in person instead of calling. One, to make sure the man was improving and to see how Jethro was holding up; and two, to let them know that the two that inflicted the injuries were going down. Though it may be an FBI case, they were not going to be left out. All he hoped was that it was enough to keep them from getting pissed.

 

Slowing down as he reached the elevator, he steeled himself for the reactions that were going to be hurled his way. Reaching the floor for ICU, he walked towards the crowd at the end of the hall as if he was walking the plank.

 

“Harm.”

 

“Tobias. Coming to check on the masses?” Harm shook his hand.

 

Fornell shrugged. “Something like that.” He looked around for Jethro, spotting him next to the bed quietly talking to DiNozzo. Taking in all the wires and apparatus surrounding the unusually still man he just stared in shock unable to bite back the words as they flew out of his mouth.

 

“Fucking hell! How is he Harm?”

 

Harm gave him a small grin. “Not as good as we all would like, but he is improving. Going to be a long road ahead, but this is Tony we’re talking about. He’ll get there; won’t be alone either.”

 

“Thank God for that.” Nodding his head towards the man sitting at his bedside, “How’s he holding up?”

 

“Better than I expected.” Harm looked at Fornell. “But you’re here for more than a social call if I’m not mistaken.” 

 

Ducky walked out of Tony’s room seeing Fornell, “Ahh, Tobias. Come to see if you can steal Anthony away from NCIS again?”

 

Fornell chuckled. “If that were possible Ducky, I would have done that years ago. Wanted to see how he was doing. Got the full story today and I needed to see for myself that he was alive. Jethro too. Can’t be easy for him either.”

 

Ducky sagely agreed. “Quite right. But Anthony is doing remarkably well all things considered, and if thing continue on this course, he shall make a full recovery. As for Jethro, he’s doing as well as can be expected. Though I do anticipate that when Anthony has truly passed the last hurdle he will begin to seethe at what was done and the rage that for now is contained due to his need to be here will come out full force.”

 

“That is not to say I expect him to act on his deepest desire to hunt them down. No, I feel that he has reconciled the fact that the law shall deal with them. However I do expect that he will want to, at the very least, stand before all four of the people that inflicted this upon Anthony and have his say.”

 

Harm nodded. “I agree. Right now, he’s busy and has focused his concentration here. But he will want his moment with them all and as long as it can be controlled and he can be prevented from doing anything that will be foolish-“, seeing the puzzled look on Tobias’ face he explained, “I can’t say that he’ll regret the action Tobias and from his stand point it would be well deserved. He will certainly regret the repercussions however, so I would like to keep him out of prison.

 

Fornell ran his hands down his face. “I think we can certainly make that happen and let him say what he needs to. I take it you realize that the FBI will be handling the civilians, but not to the exclusion of NCIS. Balboa will continue and then we will take it from there and prosecute.”

 

Ducky looked at Tobias. “That does not come as a surprise to me, and as long as we are kept in the proverbial loop, I think even Jethro will understand. I will not in any way, shape or form claim that he will be happy, but accepting perhaps.”

 

“That’s all I am hoping for Ducky.” Fornell sighed as he looked in Tony’s room and caught Jethro’s eye. He watched as Abby quickly took his spot and began talking to DiNozzo.

 

Fornell looked at the man meeting his blue eyes. “How are you doing Jethro?”

 

“About as good as can be expected. I’m worried, but he’s hanging on and continues to improve. I’m pissed but, what matters more to me than revenge is lying in that bed fighting to hang on and I have no intention of having him do that only to leave him.” 

 

Fornell stood stunned. “Well hell. I was expecting you to put up one hell of a fight about everything and you go and decide to be all level headed. You realize that due to the fact that he is a Federal agent, the FBI will be handling the civilian faction of who did this to DiNozzo.”

 

Gibbs let out a bitter chuckle. “Calling him by his name Tobias?”

 

“It’s a disservice to call him DiNutso at the moment, that is a joke between the two of us and right now there is nothing worth joking about.”

 

“I know. And I get it. Not real surprised about you and your crew taking on the Islanders. Was prepared for that. Just don’t leave us out of the loop and at some point I would really like to face them both and say a few words.” The last part was barely heard as Gibbs jaw was tightly clenched.

 

“I planned on keeping all of you apprised of everything that was happening and will arrange for a one on one meeting when you feel ok to leave the hospital.”

 

Jethro sighed. “Thanks.” He gestured to Harm. “That one is taking on McGee and Ziva. Don’t think they have any idea what he is capable of.” His eyes narrowed. “I’ll have my moment with the two of them as well.”

 

Fornell looked into Tony’s room, “What if he wants a word?”

 

Harm glared at a place on the wall. “If he needs and wants that, I’ll make sure he gets it. Can’t guess whether he will or won’t. A part of me hopes no, I mean why should he put himself in a position that could potentially cause him more pain? But what if he gets to have his say and lets them have it? I want him to have whatever works and gives him peace.”

 

Gibbs nodded. “I know, been thinking about that a lot. Whatever he needs, I won’t stop or encourage it one way or the other.” Gibbs watched as Abby talked to Tony. “Honestly, I am not looking forward to when I have to tell him what happened and what-“, pausing to get his anger under control, “McGee and Ziva did.”

 

“Jethro, you will not be alone when that happens. The words may come out of your mouth but we will be right there with you and let him know how we feel about the action. I will not let that young man in there try and shift the blame on himself for one second. Nor will I let you carry the burden of this alone.”

 

Harm agreed. “We’ll all get through this together.” 

 

Fornell looked at Gibbs. “I need to head back, anyone need a lift?”

 

Ducky patted Tobias on the shoulder. “Thank you for the offer, but I shall be remaining here. I have talked to Mr. Palmer who assures me he has everything under control and will be stopping by later tonight to see Anthony.”

 

Harm shook his head. “Have a car here; staying for a bit longer before I see what else IA has for me. Abby may need to go back sooner though. She mentioned something about tests she needed to run later.”

 

Fornell nodded as he headed into Tony’s room. “I’ll ask her as I say Hi to DiNozzo.”

 

Ducky looked at Jethro. “I shall go get us all a bite to eat and some beverages. Go back in there and stop pretending you’re ok being away from Anthony at the moment.” Chuckling as Gibbs glared at him, “Jethro, when has that ever worked on me?” 

 

Harm struggled to hold his own chuckle as he quickly offered. “I’ll go with you Ducky, help you carry it all.”

 

Gibbs shook his head at the retreating figures and smiled knowing he was one hell of a lucky bastard to have friends like them.


	13. Chapter 13- Ziva's Second Chance with IA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love, many thanks and huge Kudos to Amy , my most awesome Beta!
> 
> ******Quick note**** Hang in there for the next chapter titled "Day of Reckoning"- I am in the middle of a move, and though it is nearly written, I am still working on it! It may be just a tad delayed....please be patient!

Ziva sat calmly waiting the return of the IA agents, confident that the next time they entered the room she would be free to go, after all as far as she was concerned there had been nothing that could be construed as defensive…no that was not the word, but no matter. 

 

Perhaps for their joke there would be a warning from Vance never to let this happen again, though she would make sure that Tony received a much harsher warning. It was only fair as he was the one that was constantly playing games and pretending to work.

 

She would no longer be silent regarding the man’s ineptitude and was certain that she would be able to garner support from Gibbs. They had a shared secret after all, so they were bonded on a much deeper level than Tony would ever understand. When this was over, she would have to use that to her advantage.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Agent Brewster and Evert paused outside the interrogation room that held Agent David. Both men trying to get their game faces on to confront what they knew was going to be a tough interrogation. 

 

“You all right Brewster?”

 

“Define all right? Will I live? Yes. Do I want to take action on an agent for their attitude and behavior? Yes. But as to the general question of being all right, no. This is seriously fucked up. McGee is still not seeing the picture that has literally been painted in front of him. How could he not realize that something happened? How is it possible that he sees the action of turning off a com was a mere ‘joke’? How is it still the only concern that he has shown for Tony is feigned and that of wondering what ‘menial tasks’ he will have to perform?”

 

“I get that they don’t know what happened, but they’re damn investigators on the top MCRT in NCIS. How can he and I will go ahead, put my two cents in, and say that she will be no better, not have put two and two together? I am disgusted, pissed and can’t wait ‘til I no longer have to refer to them as ‘Agents’.”

 

Agent Evert sighed. “I agree, I can’t see how one, they can actually call leaving an agent without any back up a joke; and two, how they can actually be investigators and not see that something here is very wrong. I have to wonder what the hell their stories would have been if they actually knew what happened to Tony. How the hell would they spin a tale on their actions then?”

 

“Look at it this way Brew, he has hung himself, we gave him a chance to come clean, and he didn’t. He is finished and will pay the price for his actions. Our case is solid. He has no where to hide and no way out. Those were his words and his actions- JAG will be thrilled.”

 

“All we have to do is stay calm, walk in this room and afford Agent David the same rope and see if she too hangs herself or comes clean. She’s going to be a bit harder to crack until we show her the proof; she won’t fold and buckle and will definitely try to play us. We have the facts, truth and nothing she can spew will save her.”

 

“If you start to feel your anger reaching a place where you want to kill her, do what I did with him. Picture him facing Gibbs. And for her, add the fact that her father won’t be her back up and is leaving her to face what she did, all alone.”

 

Taking a deep breath as he let that thought wash over him, Agent Brewster squared his shoulders and looked his partner in the eye.

 

“Let’s take this bitch down.” Both men turned to enter the interrogation room.

 

Ziva looked coldly at the two IA agents as they entered the room. “Does this mean that I will be free to get back to work? I have told you everything I can and I assure you that Agent Gibbs will not be pleased that I have been held for so long.”

 

Ready to tell her just how wrong she was, Agent Brewster bit his tongue and managed to school his expression into something pleasant… “Not yet. We need to go over your statement regarding today’s events once more and make sure that we have it right. As before, this will be recorded via both video and audio.”

 

She sighed and sat back in her chair, her arms crossed over her chest. “Let’s get on with it then, I need to get back to work.”

 

Frowning, Agent Evert looked down at the notes. “You stated for the record that you and Agent McGee were acting as back up for Agent DiNozzo in the Royal Woods neighborhood while he attempted to obtain voice prints from everyone, correct?”

 

Ziva looked at the man “Yes”.

 

Agent Evert continued, “You lost track of time and ‘tuned out’ his voice during this op and at some undisclosed time, which you have stated to be approximately two hours, finally you noticed that it had been too quiet and called Agent Gibbs believing Agent DiNozzo to be ‘lost’. Is that correct?”

 

Ziva tilted her head as if she was thinking about the facts stated. “Yes, that is correct. I am unable to give you a more definite time frame, but two hours give or take is right. I did tune out Agent DiNozzo and lost track of time while thinking of other things. It is not something that I am proud of, I have been trained better than that, but it was boring conversation.” Ziva shot a charming smile at the two agents. She was puzzled at the undercurrent that she felt.

 

Perhaps they had found out about the tampering. She needed to watch carefully as they questioned her, be alert to what their body language was saying. It would be quite easy to blame McGee however since he had the technical background and she never touched the wires.

 

Agent Evert took a deep breath and asked pointedly. “You stand by the statement that you have given and swear that it is true concerning the events that are in question?”

 

Puzzled by the question, Ziva tried to think if anything else could be gleaned by her statement. Had she missed something? Made a misstep? No, that was not possible. She very carefully stuck to the agreed story. Perhaps sitting for so long in the room had messed with her ability to read people. “Yes. I stand by my statement and swear the events I have recounted to be true. I have stated everything as I remember and can add nothing more.” 

 

“I see. Agent David, I have a file in front of me that recounts a different set of events occurred other than the ones that you have stated in your sworn statement. The only thing that the evidence has in common with your statement is that you were indeed there with Agents DiNozzo and McGee and that you were assigned to be Agent DiNozzo’s back up.”

 

Ziva looked at the two men and lifted her chin. “What are the events that are different the ones I have stated? I admitted that I tuned Agent DiNozzo out and wasn’t sure of the time frame.”

 

“Let’s start by having you read this”, he pushed the papers towards her, “and then maybe you can tell us what is different, Agent David, show us where the statements vary. I can see it clear as day; maybe we can jog your memory as well.” Agent Evert watched she began to read and her eyes narrowed.

 

Ziva looked at the words …“Finally, blessed quiet. I do not understand why we need to be here at all. He is simply walking door to door starting inane conversation. It is pure torture to listen to his voice any longer….He acts like a …what is the word…play boy, yes? He is too irritating for any woman to want to be near him for that long….If he were in Mossad, he would be killed for his actions. They would not put up with such insubordination and he would be dealt with severely…I have more skills in my little finger. He should not be Gibbs’ SIC…”

 

“So Agent David, any comments?” Agent Brewster tilted his head and smiled.

 

Ziva glared. “I would like to know how it is possible for you to have a record of a private conversation.”

 

Agent Brewster shook his head. “Actually, no it was not a private conversation and is admissible in court. You were on an op during working hours. It was in no way a private conversation. Miss Scuito set all the coms to record everything so that she could ensure that every voice was heard. After all, what if someone had stopped by your car to ask directions? Every word that was spoken was recorded. You do remember that you were sent to get voice prints, correct?”

 

Ziva waved her hands in disgust. “So I said what I thought about Agent DiNozzo. Those are my opinions and I stand by them. I am not required to think highly about the people I work with.”

 

“True. But there is more to the conversation than just that.” Agent Evert handed Ziva another page.

 

“Fine”, conveying her impatience by the hand gestures she used. 

 

Agent Evert spoke quietly, his voice having an edge that he had so far managed to keep at bay, “I am sure that you find this distasteful, having to see your words printed and knowing that they will be read by all concerned. But what we consider relevant to the case is not in your control. Do I make myself clear?”

 

Ziva quietly nodded, taken aback by the tone in the man’s voice. She lowered her eyes and read the paper handed to her. She read and reread the words wondering if she could use her poor grasp of the English language as an excuse.

 

There was a way to come out of this clean. She would worry about herself and leave McGee behind. Her father would definitely help her and certainly, the Director would not want to alter the relations between their countries. And Gibbs owed her.

 

“I see that you’re stuck on that sentence just like we were.” Agent Evert looked Agent David in the eye as he read it out loud. “We’re sorry for turning you off.”

 

Agent Evert spoke clearly. “You didn’t lose track of time or ‘tune out’ Agent DiNozzo. You and Agent McGee in fact turned off your coms. You turned your back on your partner, left him without back up, and lied about it under oath. What do you have to say now?”

 

“Perhaps I misunderstood what Agent McGee wanted to do. I never turned my com off. It is against protocol. You must understand that I often fail to grasp the correct use of words in the English language.”

 

Agent Brewster looked at the woman before him unable to hide his disgust fully. “That is your defense? That you didn’t have a grasp of the English language and in fact did not turn off your com?”

 

Ziva looked at him level in the eyes. “Yes. McGee may have turned off his com, but I did not. Perhaps mine malfunctioned, or was rendered useless when Agent McGee turned his off.”

 

“Then perhaps you might want to look at this report. It is a forensics report on the coms involved in the op.” Agent Evert looked at Agent David with disdain. Pushing the forensics reports on the coms across the table to Agent David, “Read this.”

 

Ziva read over Abby’s thorough report and quietly wondered how she was going to justify it.

 

Emulating the impatient gesture that Agent David used earlier, he asked, “Malfunctioning?”

 

“I do not know of technical things, I am a trained spy and now agent. McGee took my com and did something with it, but I was unaware what he was doing. I assumed, wrongly, that he was checking to see if it was working.” Ziva stated calmly.

 

“I did mention to you that the coms were set to record everything; and I did mean everything.” Agent Brewster was quickly becoming pissed. 

 

Ziva shot the man a glare. “A misunderstanding on my part. How is that relevant?” Surely when McGee tampered with the coms, there was no more to hear, or so she thought.

 

“Well let’s make this abundantly clear for you so there is no danger of a misunderstanding, even with a ‘language barrier’...” Agent Brewster handed her another transcript page.

 

Ziva quickly glanced at the page and saw all that she needed. “Ziva, give me your com.” She had no way to talk herself out of this. It was clear that she handed him her com and did not as she said, misunderstand. 

 

“Anything to say Agent David?” Agent Evert asked.

 

“It was a joke” She shouted as she stood.

 

“SIT DOWN!” Agent Evert barked.

 

Ziva placed her hands out in a placating motion. “We played a joke on Tony. He does it all the time and we wanted to get even.”

 

“A joke in the safety of your office environment is one thing, but in the field where there is a multitude of unknown factors is another. Are you saying that Agent DiNozzo has jeopardized your safety to carry out a prank?”

 

“No.” Ziva answered derisively. “I will admit that it got out of hand and that we did truly lose track of time. As soon as we became aware that a great deal of time had passed, we looked for Agent DiNozzo when he did not respond to our calls.”

 

“He too must be held accountable. He was unreachable and if I know Agent DiNozzo, it was to get back at us. He is angry.” Ziva shrugged. “He is a baby and will get over it. I am sure all of us will take the slap on the wrist and get on with it. But knowing him, he will Lord over it and make Agent McGee pay along with myself. But this is what people do, is it not? They play.”

 

Agents Brewster and Evert looked at the woman in disgust. Agent Brewster found his voice first.

 

“No, Agent David, this is not how people play jokes.” His voice was deadly, “Especially ones who are of the caliber to serve on the top MRCT of a federal agency”.

 

Ziva just stared at the man and shook her head. “I misunderstood. It was a joke. Tony will see it for what it was, pound his chest in anger, and demand restitution.” She looked up at the agents. “I’ll apologize.”

 

“Do you really think that will fix this? A simple apology?” Agent Brewster waved his hand over all the evidence.

 

“In time. That is a saying is it not...time heals all wounds? No harm intended. I am sure that Agent DiNozzo is aware of that. Tell him he can stop pouting and we can begin to make up.”

 

Both agents fought to maintain their cool at the cold words that fell from Agent David’s mouth, wishing that they could reveal to her and her counterpart, the ramifications of their actions. They knew one thing for certain: they wanted to be flies on the wall when Agent Gibbs confronted the two agents.


	14. Chapter 14 - Day of Reckoning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love and a great many thanks to my awesome Beta Amy!!

Ducky looked at the caller ID on his phone and excused himself from Jethro and Tony’s company.

 

“Jethro, it is the director, I must take this.”

 

Smiling at the man, Jethro chuckled. “Go on Duck, I am not going anywhere.”

 

Walking out of the room quickly, Ducky found the exit so that he could answer his phone.

 

Gibbs looked at Tony. “I think we might get to be alone for a while.” He stroked Tony’s arm as he spoke. “Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate everyone’s support, but I really miss talking to you.” Gibbs chuckled. “Don’t roll your eyes! Just because you’re sleeping doesn’t mean that I don’t know what you’re thinking. Harm left to go -” He paused realizing he was about to say the one thing he didn’t want Tony to hear until he was awake and surrounded by all those that had his six. “-take care of some stuff, but he’ll be back later.”

 

Lifting his hand and gently brushing the hair off the younger man’s forehead he continued. “Been thinking. I think the first vacation we take sailing will be just me and you, as soon as you’re out of here and past the first round of healing.”

 

Smiling at the sleeping man, “I know; gonna shock a lot of people when they find out that I am taking time off. But we need it and there is nowhere else I want to be. Time away from everything will do the both of us a world of good.”

 

Ducky walked back in the room at that moment. “That it will, Jethro.”

 

“Is it time Duck?”

 

Ducky nodded. “Yes. I am going to depart and help set everything up with Vance and Harmon. Abigail will be taping the whole scene as it unfolds to share with Anthony when the time comes.”

 

Taking a deep breath and clenching the hand that was not gently stroking Tony, Gibbs looked toward and met Ducky’s eyes. “It’s killing me not to be there. I’m pissed.” His blue eyes blazed with all the rage that was contained within him.

 

“I know Jethro and believe me I understand your position. But your time will come and then you will be able release everything that you’re holding in for Anthony.” Ducky narrowed his eyes. “And when that time comes, I want you to give them hell. They deserve every bit of anger you’re feeling.”

 

Gibbs twisted his neck from side to side in an effort to release the tension. “Not going to be a problem Duck. When Tony is awake, stable and after we tell him what really happened, I want him to see the anger, know that it is for him, that he is more important to me than anything and that I am pissed at their actions and words.”

 

Ducky cocked his head to the side. “It is not in that young man’s nature to be confrontational. I will make an educated guess that stems from his childhood. He holds things in and takes the blame for things that he shouldn’t. He will not be allowed to do that in this instance.”

 

“We shall all endeavor to nip that right in the bud post haste. But that is for later. You just keep talking to Anthony and opening up as you have been. I doubt I shall return this evening.”

 

“I’ll be fine Duck. I am right where I need to be. My time will come later and I will leave no doubt in anyone’s mind what I think of them and their actions.” His voice was deadly in sharp contrast to the gentleness in which he was stroking Tony’s arm.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Harm sat across from Agents Brewster and Evert as well as Director Vance while they recounted their interviews and the forensic results from Abby. As he looked around the table, he knew that they all shared the same disbelief and rage and struggled to find the words to express exactly what he was feeling. 

 

Two agents had left their partner without back up as a joke, giving no thought to the possible outcome of their action. They belittled and made derogatory remarks about him and still hadn’t managed to put the pieces together to realize something was very wrong.

 

Harm looked at the two IA Agents. “You both did an outstanding job. There is no way in the eyes of the law they can justify what they did. You made sure of that during their second interviews. Hell, you even gave them both the opportunity to come clean which as I have just read, neither considered.”

 

He shook his head as he continued to speak. “I watched their tapes and I am still having a hard time grasping just how deluded, arrogant and-“ He struggled to put into words what was going through his head and finally settled on just plain frankness, “-fucking moronic those uncompassionate idiots are. They haven’t got a clue.”

 

“When they do mention Tony, they assume that he is playing a prank on them and still can’t see that conclusion is unfathomable. Do they have any idea why IA questioned them twice and they still haven’t been released? I am thoroughly disgusted and wish there was a charge for stupidity that I could add.”

 

“Their callous and willful disregard for their partner in the field is unconscionable.” Harm took several deep breaths to calm himself.

 

Vance shook his head. “I agree. This is something that I never expected from any agent under my command, and something I plan to make sure I never see again. Part of the reason for the big reveal is to ensure that all our agents know that this is unacceptable behavior. Never thought it was something that needed stating or reiterated, but I will not leave that to chance.”

 

“Director David agrees as well. He feels that if he lets Ziva get away with this by calling her back to Israel, he is sending the message that this - her - behavior is acceptable. When the time comes, I want Tony to see that we have his back and in no way condone their actions.“

 

“There is no guarantee, not even taking into account possible medical reasons that he will want to come back to NCIS or any agency. Trust is a crucial part of a team and if I feel even a small percentage of betrayal that he will be feeling, I don’t know if I could come back.”

 

“That said I intend on doing everything that I can to assure him he has our support when he is able and if he does want to come back. SECNAV has instructed that we are to do everything in our power to make that happen. Gibbs and he will be given carte blanche to pick new agents for their team.”

 

Vance looked at Harm. “And that actually will take care of two birds with one stone. Gibbs will be happier not having agents randomly assigned and Tony will be given a modicum of control and be able to have a say in finding agents who will fit and make him feel comfortable. I can get my top performing MCRT back as I have no doubt they will become that again even with new members.”

 

Agent Brewster looked at Harm. “How much are you going to be able to charge them with?”

 

“Gross Negligence, Perjury, Facilitation, and Accomplice to an Attempted Murder of a Federal officer. We’re still looking to see if there are other charges that can be levied.” 

 

Vance looked puzzled. “I understand all the charges except accomplice, how?”

 

Harm’s eyes narrowed and a dangerous smile appeared on his face. “Through some research we found an obscure law that allows them to be charged due to Actus Reus. That basically boils down to the fact at they failed to disclose the occurrence of the crime and also due to their negligence, basically sent the victim to the perpetrator.”

 

“That will depend on the judge and possibly require a justifiable argument as to why they should be charged with that, but I will more than go the extra mile to see that it will stick. Easy to prove by their actions.”

 

Three men looked at Harm in awe; Vance was the first to find his voice.

 

“Damn, remind me never to get on your bad side.”

 

“Agreed, not a place you want to be.”

 

Agent Evert stood. “Nail their asses to the wall that is all I need to say”, shaking the Director’s and then Harm’s hand as he walked out the door. Brewster stood to follow.

 

“This has been the most difficult investigation I have had to date. Never have I seen two agents so blatant in their belief they did nothing wrong, and frankly I don’t believe it matters if they knew the truth about what happened to their partner or not. They have had no second thoughts or concerns over their actions. The fact that Tony was placed in a situation without back up causing life threatening injuries is not the sole issue.”

 

“I can hear them both when they do finally find out the truth, arguing that they never thought it would happen or again “it was a joke”. They left their partner alone in the field and they should know the consequences of their actions, their disregard, and their arrogance. I know in my gut that it wasn’t a joke; they turned him off because they thought they were better than the job they had been assigned and better than their partner.”

 

He shook his head. “Makes me wish we still had the ability to dole out punishment with a firing squad. Take care gentlemen.”

 

Harm looked at Vance. “He is right.” He gestured to the door through which the two IA agents just exited. “Neither Ziva or McGee turned off their coms for a joke.”

 

“I know. That is one of the mitigating factors for the ‘eye opening’ Dr. Mallard and I intend on giving them. Wouldn’t matter if they did see it as a joke, it is still unacceptable no matter which way you look at it.”

 

“Since they showed such disdain and disrespect for Tony, basing it only on what they believed they knew, certainly not on what they witnessed in the years of working with the man, it is time to shine a light on what they missed. It won’t make one bit of difference in regard to what will happen to them, but it is an abject lesson they need to learn.” Vance narrowed his eyes dangerously. 

 

“It is time they were taken down a peg in their estimation of themselves.”

 

Harm smirked. “I agree. Ducky mentioned at the hospital that he had a few choice things that he wanted to share; education, past cases and some undercover ‘stories’.” 

 

Vance nodded. “I made some calls to the agencies that keep making the offers and they will be sending me official accounts of those that have passed over his desk. I’ll add the promotions that he has turned down and joint ops he has been involved in.”

 

“Abby’s going to be taping it?”

 

Vance nodded. “She met with several techs and they have everything set up. It will take place in MTAC with Director David, Mossad and all of NCIS watching and able to interact if needed. I going to break one of Gibbs’ rules and assume that Miss David will be thrown for a loop and have something to say.”

 

“Is MTAC where you want me to have them arrested and the charges read?”

 

“Yes. That needs to be clearly announced in front of our captive audience. Are you ready for their reactions to that?”

 

“Yes. Surprise, shock, and anger. Whether they argue the point depends on how deeply they feel the shock. If they do, I am prepared to lay it out for them.” 

 

“Ok then.”

 

Harm looked thoughtfully at Vance. “Ready to meet with Ducky?”

 

Vance pulled his phone out and smiled. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Vance checked and double checked that everything was being recorded and looked at the large screen in MTAC. His audience now consisted of Director David and a room of Mossad Operatives, SECNAV, Agent Hetty Lange and her LA Office and the DC JAG office.

 

Taking a deep breath, “Everything is ready and we will begin to bring in all the NCIS agents that aren’t immersed in a case and have them seated before we bring David and McGee in. Everything is set to record as well as broadcast to all satellite offices, Mossad and the FBI.”

 

SECNAV tilted his head. “Will Agent Gibbs be watching this from the hospital?”

 

Vance shook his head. “No. It was decided that this was not the time. No one wants Agent DiNozzo aware of the actions of David and McGee until he is stronger and Gibbs won’t risk the possibility that Agent DiNozzo will hear it in his unconscious state.”

 

“Understood.”

 

Director David looked at Vance. “If my daughter speaks to me regarding my presence, I understand that I am allowed to speak and make my position clear, correct?”

 

“By all means. If there are any comments directed at any of you do the same. I only remind you that everything is being taped. I don’t anticipate anything getting out of hand; I am just stating it as a reminder. I know that emotions are running high right now.” 

 

“I also appreciate the massive outpouring of concern, cooperation, and outrage this situation has garnered. This may have happened in our house, but the effects are far reaching.”

 

“How is Agent DiNozzo?” Director David inquired.

 

Vance took a deep breath. “Dr. Mallard has informed me that he has passed his first hurdle and that is a good sign. He is still in ICU and managing to hold his own but has a long ways to go. However considering the seriousness of his injuries and the fact that he has only been out of surgery for ten hours, it is indeed something that I, we, are grateful for.”

 

Murmurs of agreement could be heard from everyone.

 

Vance addressed the screen once more. “Before I start bringing everyone in I just wanted to give you a rundown of what to expect. Dr. Mallard will be the first to speak and describe Agent DiNozzo’s achievements, education, and citations. I will add his promotions and the offers from other agencies that he turned down. We will then play the tape of Agent DiNozzo’s attack, his calling for back up and follow that with the details, crime scene photos, and medical report. The last will be Harm listing the charges against them and Agent Fornell and Sacks taking them into custody, placing them under arrest and carting them off.”

 

“I am sure they will have some words, even if it is just disbelief at the charges or shock at the brutality of the attack. I can’t even guess at what their reaction will be after all that I read from the IA reports and honestly, I don’t want to put myself in their shoes and try to guess. I want this done so we can all get down to the business of healing.”

 

“I wish that for us all Leon, and more so for Agent DiNozzo.” Eli spoke quietly.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Ducky stood in a quiet corner and watched as agents filed in and took their seats. Even with the number of people in the room, it was silent and an underlying thrum of anger could be felt. He hoped that the openness in dealing with this tragic event would help everyone. 

 

Vance walked up to him. “You ready?”

 

“That I am Director. Are we ready to bring the two miscreants in?”

 

Vance nodded. “Everyone that is able to attend is here. The group that is attending via satellite is ready, Fornell and his crew are here, and I am more than ready to have those two confront the results of their actions. I am not immune from the emotion of this case or from wanting its justice, Dr. Mallard.”

 

“Then you are in good company. Look around in this room Director; it is filled with people that thirst for the same thing. And because of the decision to have this tribunal of sorts they will be a part of it. They will see that no one finds this behavior acceptable.”

 

Vance rubbed his hand down his face and took a deep breath. “Then let’s get those two in here and give them their due.”

 

Ducky narrowed his eyes. “My pleasure.”

 

Vance shook his head slightly and smirked as he pulled out his phone.

 

“Bring them in.”

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Ziva looked up as the door opened expecting someone to release her. She lost count of how many hours she had been in this one room. Not recognizing the face that greeted her, she chose to take the offensive.

 

“Who are you?” 

 

“Agent Roberts-“

 

“Am I finally being released?” She snarked. 

 

He looked down his nose and glared. “If you had let me finish you would know that I am to take you to MTAC.”

 

“I need no escort to MTAC; I am quite capable of finding my own way.”

 

“You have no choice, Agent David.”

 

“This is uncalled for, I am an NCIS agent. I do not need a male escort.”

 

“That’s ENOUGH Agent David!” He growled.

 

Ziva stepped up to stand toe to toe with the other agent. “Are you not aware of who I am?” She hissed dangerously. 

 

Agent Roberts met her icy glare with one of his own, his voice laced with disdain. “I am well aware of who you are Agent David and it may surprise you to find out that I don’t give a rat’s ass. One more word out of you and I will put you in cuffs. Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?”

 

Stunned into silence she simply nodded and allowed herself to be led out of the room into the hall.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Agent Gordon entered the room where Agent McGee was being kept.

 

“Agent McGee, I need to escort you to MTAC.”

 

McGee stood and looked at the agent puzzled. “I need to be escorted?”

 

“Yes.”

 

McGee shrugged as he stood. “I really don’t see the need, but whatever”, and allowed Agent Gordon to lead him into the hall. As he entered the hall, he saw Ziva being led by another agent and noticed Agent Fornell talking with a man he recognized, but couldn’t quite place.

 

He started wracking his brain trying to figure out where he had seen him as he walked by the two of them; it was on the tip of his tongue but still eluded him. He was deep in thought as he and Ziva were led to MTAC. 

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

ZIva and McGee were herded into MTAC and directed to two chairs that had been placed in the center of the floor. They stole a glance at one another wondering what the hell is going on. Before either one of them had a chance to take in their surroundings, Vance stepped out from the shadows, followed by Ducky, Harm and Fornell.

 

Vance looked at McGee and Ziva, his eyes cold as he addressed them both. “I expect the two of you to sit, listen, and watch.” He turned to Alison who was waiting for the signal to bring the big screen back up. “Bring everyone on line.” He returned his gaze and watched the expressions fly across their faces. He wasn’t surprised when he saw the brief smug look from Agent David when she saw her father.

 

Vance motioned to Ducky. “Dr. Mallard you’re up.”

 

Ducky stepped up and looked at Ziva and McGee; his face was lacking the usual warm and caring expression and his eyes held a fury that neither had seen before. Silently they both cringed and tried to shrink back in their chairs sharing a brief glance at one another still wondering what the hell was going on.

 

“I find myself at a loss for words, not because I have a lack of things I wish to say, quite the opposite in fact. There are so many things that I wish to impart upon you. However I also wish to do so with the understanding that you two will see their importance and value.”

 

“Therein lays my conundrum. Are either of you able to see past your own arrogance and self-importance? I don’t believe that either of you are capable of that. If you were, we would not be gathered for this day of reckoning. You both have failed to see what was clearly in front of you. You have placed your education, your skills, and your very lives ahead of Anthony’s.”

 

He watched as both Timothy’s and Ziva’s face contorted briefly in an expression of condescension before returning to a neutral façade. Ducky could no longer reign in his rage at the two of them and as he spoke, the edge to his voice was unmistakable.

 

“Even now, you both sit there believing that there is nothing I can tell you that will elevate Anthony to your level. That is where you both are mistaken.” He turned his rage on Timothy. “You, Mr. McGee, have thrown your exalted education in his face at every possible turn.” Ducky began pacing back in forth in front of the two agents.

 

“You are under the mistaken belief that he only has a degree in physical education. That was one of many inaccuracies with which you and Miss David deluded yourselves. Anthony actually continued his education when he was with the various police forces as well as when he joined NCIS. He has a degree in Criminology, Forensic Psychology and he is still continuing his education.”

 

“But how could he do all that while he works the hours that he does? How is that possible when he tells of all his social exploits and the fun with life that he has?” He stopped in front of Timothy and Ziva. “Because he is quite intelligent and has a marvelous ability to soak up all knowledge that is thrown in front of him.”

 

“Have either of you ever wondered how it is he can remember all the movies as well as significant lines from the vast amount he quotes from? Do you have the ability to pull such things out of the air and make the connections that Anthony does?”

 

“The answer to that is a resounding NO! Neither of you are able to put random facts and things that you see at a scene in any semblance of order and solve a case or at the very least steer all of us in the direction that allows justice to be attained.”

 

“But still you did not allow yourselves to see what was right in front of your noses. For that to have happened, you would have had to see that in fact you are not the epitome of greatness, that there are others that have skills that are equal to or rival your own.”

 

“Sad that you both have fallen to the depths that you have. Did you not wonder why Anthony was chosen for so many undercover operations? You both said in the car that you must have misunderstood the fact that he had a gold shield. You did not misunderstand that, he was the youngest officer to obtain that rank.”

 

“Do you think he obtained that by his smile? That they just handed those out? You are both delusional fools. Did you for a moment grasp what it meant to have taken down the Mob in Philadelphia? Or did you believe that was another Anthony DiNozzo who accomplished that?” He waved his hand at Vance wanting him to continue while he gathered himself.

 

Vance stood in front of them with his arms crossed over his chest. “Funny, the man that you both look down your noses at has received and continues to receive offers from every alphabet out there. Do you believe that someone incompetent garners that type of demand?”

 

‘Do you believe that Agent Fornell wouldn’t snap him up if he could? I believe that you were under the misconception that was a standing joke between Agent Gibbs and himself. He has been offered several promotions at NCIS as well, turned them all down. Frankly, it is concerning to me that you were both on the top MCRT as investigators and yet you were unable to see what was right in front of you.”

 

“Do you know what I would like to know?” He looked at Ziva and McGee. “I would like to know what you think is going on here. Surely, you have noticed the gathering of NCIS agents behind you and I doubt you missed the faces looking upon us from the big screen. So what do you think we are doing here?”

 

Ziva looked around the room and at the big screen meeting her father’s eyes. “I assume that this is a dressing down, that we are being publically scolded so that Agent DiNozzo can feel vindicated. As for Ducky’s touching tribute to his education; I can only see that it is to help us see that he has more to him.”

 

“I can’t help think that if he acted less the clown however we would not have to resort to such a meeting. We have a case with the DJ and a home grown terrorist do we not? Perhaps this would be better drilled into us after we have caught the culprit.”

 

Vance ground his teeth together as he felt the chill in the room grow to epic proportions. He turned his gaze to McGee.

 

“I agree with Agent David to a point, that we are being made to sit in on a lecture regarding a teammate at an inopportune time. But I get it; ok. Agent DiNozzo has more than a PE degree. Great. So why hide it? Perhaps if he acted with the demeanor of a man with such an education, we would not be here. He would not have played the fool and we would not have retaliated.”

 

There were distinct intakes of breath and growls after their answers were revealed. Ducky shook his head sadly, clenching his fists at his sides. Harm stepped forward wanting to do nothing more than speak his piece and have them carted off.

 

Surprisingly, Director David spoke next. “I can see that it is time to lay it out for them. There is no other recourse Leon and Dr. Mallard. It is quite clear.” Ziva looked at her father surprised by the resolve and underlying anger in his eyes. Perhaps he was disgusted at how she was treated in front of the other agents. That she could understand. It would bother him that she was unfairly dressed down when the ‘man of the hour’ was left unscathed. It was of no consequence however; she would make sure that he paid the price.

 

Vance nodded at Cynthia who had the recording of Agent DiNozzo’s call for back up and subsequent fight with Carl Islander ready to play. 

 

“OK Probie and Probette here we go again…Ziva! Tim! Back up at 626 Morning Glory. NOW!” … “Shit! Ziva! McGee! Where the fuck are you? Armed man assaulting a federal officer.” … “Sir! Put the knife down. I’m Agent DiNozzo a federal officer.” 

 

“Don’t care what your name is! You’re the mother fucker that’s been fucking my wife. She said she was leaving me for you. Like hell, she will! Eileen is mine asshole!” … “I don’t know Eileen, you have the wrong guy.” … “She won’t want you now! Don’t look so pretty all busted up.” … “Carl?” … “Eileen, your pretty boy ain’t so pretty now is he?” … “Maybe I might seem a better choice.” 

 

“Carl.” … “There was never anyone else; I just told you that so you would notice me. You’ve been ignoring me lately and I don’t like it. I don’t know who that fool is.”…“You lied to me?”…“Yes, honey. I wanted you so badly. I love you.”… “What do we do with him?” 

 

“Well can’t have my man go to jail after defending my honor and all. We could load him up in the car, drive out to the woods, and dump him. Be forever before someone finds him.”

   
The sounds of the fight, the punches, the grunts of pain and the sound of a body falling were heard. The sounds themselves were chilling. The room was silent as everyone processed what they heard. The anger that was felt before was intensified after hearing the call for back up, a call that went unanswered because the coms were switched off.

 

Vance looked down at Ziva and McGee and saw the look of shock on their faces. “Yes…he called for back up. Back up which was not there. He was left alone to fight for his life. All while the two of you sat in the car ‘chatting’ without a care in the world. So, I don’t believe we are done yet, I believe that everyone needs to hear the conversation you two had.”

 

“No.“ McGee whispered.

 

“I don’t believe that is necessary.” Ziva said quietly.

 

“That is where you are both incorrect once again.” Ducky coldly stated. “I wholeheartedly believe that it is more than necessary.” Seeing the nod from Vance, Cynthia played Ziva and McGee’s conversation.

 

“Finally, blessed quiet. I do not understand why we need to be here at all. He is simply walking door to door starting inane conversation. It is pure torture to listen to his voice any longer.”...“I know. He never shuts up. The constant movie references, details about his dating life; which if they are true, and I have my doubts must be in some record book. Seriously it has to be impossible for him to score that often and I don’t need or want to hear about it.”…“He acts like a …what is the word…play boy, yes? He is too irritating for any woman to want to be near him for that long.”

 

“I don’t know what Gibbs sees in him. Of course, there are the head slaps. I can see why Gibbs uses them and we never need any. Maybe he was a friend of the former Director or something and just sort of hangs on.”…If he were in Mossad, he would be killed for his actions. They would not put up with such insubordination and he would be dealt with severely.” ... “I have more skills in my little finger. He should not be Gibbs’ SIC.”…“He can barely type and knows nothing of computers. Gibbs doesn’t either, but he is a formidable man.” …. “He has a reputation and Tony most assuredly is tarnishing that. He has a degree in what? Phys Ed? And was a cop before. I understand that he may have had a detective’s shield, but I think I had to have heard that wrong.”…“Why do you think that?”…“Because Ziva, it takes great skill to obtain a gold shield and Tony was never anywhere long enough for that to happen for one and I don’t see him being awarding any such thing.”

 

“Perhaps we heard wrong McGee or we misunderstood.”…“Maybe he is playing a joke on us Ziva. Very funny, Tony. Come on, we’re not laughing. We’re sorry for turning you off.”

 

Gasps were heard from the room and from the screen. The unthinkable had taken place; an agent was out in the field without back up, all because his partners had left him intentionally on his own.

 

Vance looked at the two of them. “Did you think this was acceptable behavior?” Vance took a deep breath. “This was disgraceful behavior and clearly illuminates one of the reasons law officers have back up. Shall we inform the room of your excuse?”

 

All Ziva and McGee could manage was a shake of their heads. They already felt the stares of the room on their backs, the glares, and anger of everyone.

 

“In case you missed it, the last portion of the tape indicated that they thought Agent DiNozzo was playing a joke on them by not answering when roughly two hours later they deemed it necessary to resume communication with him. It was a joke. That Agent DiNozzo played on THEM. Dr. Mallard, would you please inform everyone the result of this ‘joke’?”

 

“Anthony nearly died on the operating table. His heart stopped twice, he lost over half of his body’s blood supply because of sixteen stab wounds. One required the removal of his spleen, one required removal of a portion of his lower intestine. He is on a ventilator to ensure his lungs are not over taxed during this crucial time. He lost a small portion of his more damaged lung, three ribs were wired back in place, and his kidneys are severely bruised.”

 

“We almost lost him once again after surgery when his heart stopped again. Yes, I can clearly see how this is a joke. I am certain that Anthony would be laughing right along with them.”

 

“For God’s sake Ducky, we never intended for him to be hurt.” Ziva shouted. “This was not supposed to happen.”

 

Ducky’s voice was cold as ice as he spoke clearly and concisely. “Do not call me Ducky, only my friends and family are allowed to do that and I do not count either of you in that category.” Ziva and McGee looked at the grandfatherly man in surprise. Surely, he couldn’t be serious. This was an accident, they never intended for Tony to get hurt.

 

“Regardless of your intent, the mere fact that the two of you turned off your coms resulted in this conclusion. That single action caused a man to fight for his life, his body to be callously dumped in a field to bleed to death. And they drove him out right under your noses!”

 

McGee spoke up. “So what can we do to make this right? We can help him when he comes home from the hospital; make sure he has food and things to do. We can apologize; he will see that we made a mistake, that this was never our intent.”

 

Harm growled. “Seriously? The man is fighting for his life; I can’t see an apology being a magic cure all.”

 

“Why don’t we let Tony decide?” Ziva snarked.

 

Harm’s smile was that of a hunter stalking its prey and it sent chills down her spine. “I don’t think so Miss David.”

 

“It is Agent David.” She corrected.

 

SECNAV spoke. “No, not any longer. You and Mr. McGee have been stripped of your agent status and are fired from NCIS immediately.”

 

“You are willing to damage the relationship that has been established with Mossad?” Ziva asked as she smiled at her father. “If I leave here, the relations will shut down and I will return home and take my rightful place beside my father.”

 

“No Ziva, you will not be returning home. You have disgraced yourself, your family, and your Mossad heritage and training of which you so proudly boast. A true Mossad operative would have NEVER left his partner without back up.” His voice was devoid of emotion as he spoke.

 

“Even if I chose to exercise my position and take you out of here and whisk you home it would serve no purpose. No one would partner with you; they would not be able to trust you. I cannot trust you. You will have to stay and accept whatever punishment is dealt to you. These were your actions alone and you will have to pay the price of your choice.”

 

“No… father you can’t be serious. It was meant to be a joke; the fact that he was injured is not my fault. If Agent DiNozzo had not-“

“STOP IT! I do not care to hear your excuses, it does not matter that you feel that the man was beneath you or that you felt your skills were superior. What matters is that you let you partner go into the field without back up. I do not need you to try and justify your actions. There is no excuse for your behavior.”

 

Ziva looked incredulously at her father. “You are abandoning me?”

 

Eli shook his head. “No, not abandoning, but making you take responsibility for your actions.”

 

Harm approached Ziva and McGee and stood in front of them. “Responsibility for their actions, I rather like the sound of that. Do either of you have any idea of what that will entail?”

 

McGee spoke quietly. “I’ve been fired; I will assume that is part of taking responsibility.”

 

Ziva shrugged.

 

Harm spoke again, this time his voice taking the lethal tone that those who faced him in court heard and feared. “Do either of you know who I am?”

 

McGee shook his head. “You look familiar, but I can’t place you.”

 

Ziva shook her head. “No.”

 

“I am a long time friend of Tony DiNozzo and a JAG lawyer. Perhaps you have heard of me, Harmon Rabb?” He paused for affect watching their eyes widen.

 

McGee snapped his fingers. “I remember now. My father was at your retirement party, he had good things to say about you.”

 

Harm nodded. “Well since you know who I am now, that makes this so much easier.” He gestured at Fornell and Sacks.

 

Fornell stepped in front of McGee and Ziva. “Timothy McGee and Ziva David you are being placed under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense. Do you both understand these rights as they have been explained to you?”

 

He pulled out his cuffs to place them on McGee as Sacks mirrored the same action with Ziva.

 

Ziva snarled at Sacks. “What is the meaning of this? What am I being charged with? Playing a joke on a co-worker?”

 

Harm’s glare was deadly, his voice matched as he spoke. “You are being charged with Gross Negligence, Perjury, Facilitation, and Accomplice to an Attempted Murder of a Federal officer.”

 

“That’s impossible.” McGee blurted out. 

 

“You cannot charge us as accomplices.” Ziva snarked. 

 

Harm spoke with lethal conviction. “Watch me.” 

 

Ziva and McGee were led away in cuffs while every agent in MTAC rose to give a standing ovation.


	15. Chapter - 15 Shock and Disbelief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my most wonderful Beta Amy! Couldn't do this without her!

Gibbs stretched his neck and looked at his watch. The showdown should be over and two former agents taken into custody. Right now, he was having trouble even saying their names. Their words kept playing repeatedly in his head. He looked at Tony who was still not moving and sighed.

 

If he was feeling this way, he could not imagine how Tony was going to feel when he found out what happened. That had been the main thing running through his mind; how to talk to the man when the time came, how to reassure him and how to show him that they were wrong.

 

He gently moved the hair off Tony’s forehead, smiled and took a deep breath. All he knew was that he would get him through this and whatever Tony needed or decided he would stand behind, even if it meant that he would leave NCIS.

 

Looking up as he heard the door open, he relaxed when Brad’s face came into view.

 

“Gibbs, how is our patient doing?” He approached Tony and started his examination.

 

Gibbs watched his every move and regarded his body language hoping to see any sign that everything was going well, that Tony had passed another hurdle and would soon be opening his eyes. Every second dragged as he anxiously waited.

 

Brad finally turned to him and smiled. “He’s doing wonderfully. Blood pressure is good, heart rate strong and the incisions look healthy. His lungs sound clear as well. I see this as a sign that he has once again beaten the odds.”

 

“I want to start reducing his sedatives and start waking him up. Normally I would leave a patient under a bit longer, but in Tony’s case with his medical history I prefer him up and moving around, even if it is only to sit up. It is far better for his lungs.”

 

Gibbs looked concerned. “It’s not too soon?”

 

Brad gave him an understanding look. “I know that I tell you how I deal with patients normally and then change what I want to do with Tony, but he is different and I will only do what I feel is in his best interest.”

 

Gibbs rubbed his one hand through his hair. “I know you wouldn’t risk his health, it’s just a lot harder than I thought. I want him to wake up but I am worried that it will be too soon, that he won’t be ok, and that he won’t be strong enough to hear what happened.”

 

“There’s no way that Tony, once he gets past the initial waking up, will wait to hear what happened. He’ll notice who isn’t visiting and ask questions.”

 

Brad nodded in understanding. “I know. And I know what happened to Tony. I’ll make sure he is strong enough and will be there when you tell him. And I’ll help you stall as long as we need to. I know that it really wouldn’t make much of a difference if he were at full health though Gibbs.”

 

“He will take this hard, blame himself and try to hide from the pain. But he will not be alone, he has a great support system and he has you. You will be what gets him through this. And in you, I have all the faith in the world.”

 

Brad saw the look on Gibbs face. “What? You got him to live through the plague and trust me he was barely hanging on. You pulled him out of that. This won’t be easy, not kidding myself or you, but I do know that you can do this.”

 

Gibbs looked at the still sleeping man as he whispered. “I hope you’re right.”

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Abby was still staring blankly at the screen when Jimmy walked into her lab.

 

“I’m so sorry Abby, I tried to get here before it started, but there was a body-“ He stopped speaking when he noticed her demeanor. Quickly filled with concern he crossed the lab and stood in front of her.

 

“Abby?” He gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

 

Raising her green eyes to meet his, tears silently streamed down her face. Hesitating for just a brief moment, she latched her arms around his neck and hugged him tight as everything came crashing down on her.

 

Everything that she had been holding back since the moment that she first heard the recording poured out of her soul with absolute misery; every fear, concern, hurt and betrayal. Jimmy simply wrapped his arms around her and held her tight as she fell apart.

 

Standing there together, they lost track of time, not willing to let go of one another. Finally, she calmed down and struggled to find her voice.

 

“I know what happened Jimmy. I heard the tapes; I even examined the coms and found trace evidence.” She took a deep shuddering breath and held more tightly to Jimmy if that was even possible. “But hearing their IA Interrogations and then their excuses was…they just kept going on about it being a joke, that they never meant for him to be hurt.” 

 

“But…their attitudes. Jimmy, they don’t see what they did as wrong. Even when everything was in front of them. I can’t accept that our friends, family, or people that we work with could do that. To anyone, let alone Tony.”

 

Jimmy was wracking his brain to find the right words to ease her pain. “I don’t know that there is any reason that would explain their actions. They made a choice and they will have to live with that. Doesn’t make it right and it certainly doesn’t change the way that you feel or the way that we all feel.”

 

“We get left with the aftermath, the disappointment and in our case the worry about Tony. But you’re not alone and neither is Tony. We will all get through this, moment by moment, step by step, and one day at a time. You need to rant, vent, or fall apart, you call me, and I’ll be there. OK?”

 

“Thanks Jimmy.” Abby sighed. “I might do that a lot.”

 

Jimmy smiled. “No worries, I got your six.”

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

After the door closed on the departing group, Vance turned to those remaining and let out a deep sigh. To say that he was astounded by McGee and Ziva’s actions would be an understatement. He was more than disgusted that they still clearly had no idea what they did wrong and were steadfastly holding to their defense that it was a joke and that Tony had deserved their actions.

 

He hadn’t expected miracles, but then again maybe he had, after all neither of them had reacted to the fact that their misconceptions of Tony had been wrong, nor that they were in serious trouble. He was finding that hard to swallow.

 

How did the situation get to this point? Did they all miss something? He was desperate to have these questions answered because he wanted to ensure that this never happened again. He turned to look at the agents that were still seated and was at a loss for what to say.

 

He took a deep breath. “This was something that I never saw coming.” He let his eyes scan across the room. “Do any of you have any questions? Do you have any concerns that this is going on in other areas of the agency?” He struggled to find the right words.

 

“None of the actions that you learned of today are acceptable. We will not tolerate a lack of respect for a fellow agent, any personal vendettas, or leaving a partner without back up. I do not expect you to like every person that you come in contact with, but I do expect professionalism and protocols to be followed.”

 

“I don’t doubt that either Mr. McGee or Miss David envisioned any attack was likely to occur on Agent DiNozzo, but that is in part why we have back up in place. We try to prepare for the unexpected to make sure that something like this doesn’t happen.”

 

“I have a problem with their conversation regarding Agent DiNozzo’s qualifications, skills, and education. Opinions are like assholes – everyone has them. They have no place in our agency. The people you work with and for are to be respected unless proven otherwise because each and every one of you has earned a spot in our agency and that in of itself commands it. I don’t always expect you to have positive opinions about your co-workers, but during working hours, during an op when your attention should be focused on the situation at hand, opinions are not wanted, needed, or warranted. McGee and David both showed great disrespect by their actions and as investigators, they failed. They didn’t look beyond their preconceptions. Not a trait that I want in any investigator, let alone for the top MCRT.”

 

Hetty spoke up. “Leon, there is only so much one can do. You did a magnificent job; all of you did, trying to show those two where they made their errors. Not that it was intended to change the outcome, but to open their eyes. You are not alone in the shock you felt when they still seemed so self-righteous.” She shook her head sadly.

 

Eli agreed with Hetty. “I could not have envisioned that my own daughter would turn her back on her partner or speak so disrespectfully of a superior, so I believe that we were all taken by surprise. But how NCIS has chosen to handle this gives me hope for healing.”

 

Balboa stood up. “I wish I could feel that this event has totally eased my anger and to a point it has. Respectfully Director Vance and SECNAV, I applaud the fact that you didn’t take the easy way and make this quietly disappear. I appreciate the fact that you are publically standing behind Tony. It doesn’t change the fact that I am pissed that his partners-“ He took a deep breath, his voice still carried the rage he felt. “People the man relied on to have his back, not withstanding, considered his friends, callously abandoned, and degraded him.”

 

Ducky looked at Balboa. “I certainly understand that sentiment and I am sorry to say that only time will in fact ease that wound, one we all share. I am more concerned for young Anthony when he becomes aware of what actually happened and why.” Ducky looked to the room and the large screen.

 

“But through the actions performed today, through the outpouring of support in this room from each and every one of us, I have faith that that will go a long way in aiding in his recovery and if I may be so bold, aid in the recovery of all of us.”

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Ziva sat on her mattress; her legs crossed, back straight and her face unreadable. She allowed her eyes to move around the room taking inventory and noting every detail as she contemplated the night’s events. Certainly wasn’t how she saw it playing out, but then how could she have foreseen this?

 

Her father was whom her thoughts kept coming back to. What was the purpose in his actions? She refused to believe that he was actually leaving her alone and without support. Rationally she thought that maybe he was teaching her another lesson as he did when she was a young child in Mossad.

 

He would not side with the others that held her and McGee responsible. McGee was the one who tampered with the evidence. She would use that to her benefit. She found his inability to be convincing during the interviews unforgivable, though not surprising. She should have taken an upper hand in the planning of their alibi; they certainly would not be where they were if she had.

 

It was absurd that they thought the charges would stick and that a jury would convict her. She would use this quiet time to formulate a plan and wait for her father to come to his senses. After all, she was now an only child.

 

It was time to use that to her advantage along with the fact that Gibbs owed her. She saved his life and killed her own brother. That would carry weight with the man that held family above all others. Yes…it was time for her to use that and her well-honed skills to extricate herself from this mess that Tony caused.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

McGee stood back up and continued his pacing as he ran his hands through his hair. He tried to sit down and relax; look calm and collected, but he couldn’t. How had he allowed himself to get in this situation? He was a smart man; had several degrees to attest to that fact.

 

It was a joke and Tony had somehow managed to get hurt which was in no way his fault. How could he be levied with the charges that Harm listed? How was that possible? He couldn’t go to prison. There was no way he could handle it in there. 

 

No, stop! He needed to stop with the defeatist attitude and figure out a way to get out of here. He took great solace and yes found a bit of perverse humor, that Ziva’s father was not going to be charging in and rescuing her. If he had to stand up and face the charges, she had better as well.

 

All he needed was sleep and a chance to reboot his brain to figure a way out of this. Maybe Abby could help him, surely she would. She would understand that he never meant for anything bad to happen and could be convinced that it was really Ziva’s idea. 

 

Settling back on his bunk and feeling the scratchy blanket in his fingers, he could not suppress the shudder that ran through his body. He would never survive prison. He was under no illusion that he had the kind of strength to endure what he would face. The loneliness, quiet, rules and separation from the things that he enjoyed. He curled up on the bunk and held his knees to a chest. There had to be a way out of this.


	16. Chapter 16 - Green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my Beta Amy! I could not do this without her! Many thanks to her!

Time has many facets. Among the many, it can drag, fly, or stand still. The reassuring thing is it always passes at the same rate no matter how it is perceived. Unfortunately, from his point of view, time had all but stopped. Hours had passed since they had reduced the meds that were keeping Tony sedated and so far nothing.

 

He was a realist; he didn’t think the man was going to open his eyes right away and everything would be ok. He knew it wasn’t that simple. But that didn’t stop his need to see signs that he was waking up or better yet, the man’s green eyes.

 

Being a sniper, he had always believed that he had been trained to command more patience than most which allowed him to wait out anything and he had, sometimes waiting days for the right shot that enabled him to complete his mission. Right now, he was unable to call up any of that training and patience was the one thing he didn’t have. He wanted instant gratification in this instance though that was not going to happen.

 

How the hell had he managed when Tony had the plague? Of course, things were different then, he was busy trying to solve the case and find out if there was a cure, not to mention that he was still living in denial. This was completely different on every level.

 

It didn’t help matters that he was so tightly reining in his anger that he felt like he was going to explode. He was stunned when he heard Ducky’s report on how McGee and Ziva had acted after they were charged and arrested. He had expected them to have at the very least, an ounce of remorse for the way they acted.

 

But they had no reaction when told that Tony’s life hung by a thread and that was unacceptable in his eyes. He took a deep breath to calm his rising rage knowing it was not the place or the time to express his feelings on the matter, but it would come. 

 

Standing up to brush the hair off Tony’s face, he stroked his cheek gently comforting them both. 

 

“Gonna wake up soon Tony? I’m kind of surprised you haven’t been shocked awake. I mean all the talking I’ve done has to be worth something. How about showing me those green eyes even if it’s only for a little bit.” Gibbs sighed closing his eyes for a moment.

 

“Abby is going to be stopping by tonight. She went bowling with the nuns last night. Sister Rosita asked about you and says when you are up to it you’re being recruited for their team. Don’t worry you won’t be alone, I’ve been recruited too.” Gibbs chuckled. “Haven’t been bowling in years.”

 

“Ducky says ‘Hi’ and when he comes to visit next, he’ll have a new story, something about a brothel and an elected official. He assures me that you have not heard this one yet and it is something quite special involving, and I quote, ‘quite a spectacular car chase involving a horse drawn carriage’, should be interesting to say the least.”

 

“Cynthia dropped off a ton of Get Well cards. You are missed Tony. I may miss you more, but you certainly are missed. Thinking of getting a revolving door for the room due to the amount of visitors you’ve had since you’ve been here. Maybe we should put a down payment for a room of your own, but I never want to see you here like this again, so never mind. Never want to see you here again at all.”

 

“I need you to open your eyes Tony, I have things I want to share, things to tell you. I have been doing that while you’ve been sleeping, but I’d really like a chance to do it when you’re awake.” Smiling, Gibbs let his fingers run down Tony’s arm.

 

“Bet you have a movie reference for this. I miss those too - yeah I said it. Shame you’re not awake to give it to me.” He froze as his fingers were weakly grasped by Tony’s. Slowly he raised his gaze to look at Tony’s face afraid it was just a fluke and saw a tiny sliver of green.

 

Releasing a breath that he was unaware was being held, he whispered, “Tony? Can you open your eyes a little more for me? Just want to see them for a minute.”

 

Seeing his eyelids flutter, struggling to open, Gibbs gently ran his knuckles down the side of the younger man’s face. “You’re doing so well Tony. I’m going to page a nurse so they can check you out.” Feeling Tony squeeze his fingers slightly, Gibbs hastened to assure the younger man.

 

“Not leaving you Tony, I’ll be right here always. I’ve got your six.” Gibbs pressed the call button. A few moments later a nurse came into the room and walked over to both Tony and Gibbs. 

 

“Agent Gibbs, how is our patient? What concerned you?” She checked his monitors noting his vitals.

 

“He’s starting to wake up. His eyelids fluttered and I saw his eyes for a moment.” Gibbs continued, “He also squeezed my fingers, lightly, but squeezed them”.

 

She smiled down at Tony. “Well that is very good news. I’ll let Dr. Pitt know. He’s here in the hospital so I am sure you will see him shortly.” She took Tony’s hand in hers and squeezed his fingers. “You just keep up the good work.” Turning towards the door, she smiled at Gibbs. “Keep doing whatever you’re doing Agent Gibbs. It’s working.”

 

“Seems being more than a functional mute is working. Who knew? Just don’t go telling everyone.” Gibbs watched as Tony struggled to open his eyes again and watched as they fluttered open briefly, closed, and then opened again.

 

Smiling down at Tony as he was finally successful keeping them open, “Hi”. He saw so many questions in those green eyes, some he was prepared to answer, and others…well he hoped those would come later. Wanting to reassure and comfort the man, he quickly spoke.

 

“Sure you have a ton of questions and I’ll answer them as soon as you ask and the doctors say its ok. Fair enough?” 

 

Tony gave a tiny nod and relaxed deeper into his pillow. 

 

“Rest now.” Tony reached for Gibbs hand placing his on top of it. The older man sensing the gesture for what it was linked their fingers together and watched Tony sigh and slip off into sleep.


	17. Orange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks, much love and a hell of a lot of Kudos to my most awesome Beta Amy!

Gibbs thought he heard his name and looked at Tony. Their hands had been linked together since Tony had woken up.

 

“Tony?”

 

Tony’s green eyes bored into Gibbs. “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Anything.”

 

Tony lifted their joined hands slightly. “Is this…does this…?” Tony took a deep breath wincing in pain before continuing. “What does this mean?”

 

Gibbs looked at the younger man, took a deep breath, and laid it bare. “This means that I want more than just a friendship. That I want to explore a new relationship with you; that I am admitting that I have had feelings for you for a long time and that I want to touch you any way that I can.”

 

In his blue eyes, Tony saw the full truth and depth of the words that were uttered he smiled shyly. “I remember you talking; parts of what you said. I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming, imagining, or honestly if it was wishful thinking.”

 

“Not wishful thinking Tony. I did a lot of talking. Somehow it was easier for me to start that way; basically a practice run.” Smiling, he ducked his head. “But it worked.”

 

Tony squeezed Gibbs hand. “That it did Gibbs.”

 

“Jethro.”

 

A brilliant smile lit up Tony’s face. “Jethro.”

 

Noticing he was getting tired, Gibbs allowed the moment to pass, “Get some more sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

As the younger man’s eyes closed of their own accord he sighed, “Right where I want you.”

 

Brad walked in the room later and found both men asleep with smiles on their faces and their hands still joined.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Gibbs smiled sitting back in the chair as Tony and Abby carried on their conversation. It had been nearly twenty four hours since Tony had opened his eyes and the older man realized he hadn’t stopped smiling since then. They both knew they were on the same page and that was a start. 

 

Tony was beginning to ask questions, however and he was concerned not sure just how much longer they could stall. Tony was no fool. There were reasons he was his SFA and Gibbs had no doubt that he was wondering why Ziva and McGee had not stopped by.

 

A tiny ray of hope extinguished every time a new visitor turned out not to be Ziva or McGee. His wondering soon turned into questioning. 

 

“Jethro, what happened with the terrorist case?” Tony’s brow furrowed. “I remember getting voice prints but the rest is a bit hazy.”

 

“Solved it. Roberts’ team took over after Abby gave them what they needed. They figured out who was behind it and what was planned.”

 

“What were they planning?”

 

“Depends on which member of the group that you talk to; it ranges from blowing up a communication tower to a parking garage. However, a few members wanted to make a much grander statement and placed it at a kid’s baseball game. The parents were a veritable ‘Who’s Who’ of DC. It was found before it did what it was intended to do.”

 

“No one was hurt?”

 

Abby shook her head. “It blew, but they cleared the scene before it did. Everyone is safe and sound and the bad guys were caught.” Tony looked at Abby and Gibbs sensing their unease.

 

“And the ones that attacked me? Jethro said it was a married couple and they were arrested as well. Right?”

 

Abby uncharacteristically nodded quietly.

 

“What aren’t you telling me?”

 

“The couple confessed Tony. Balboa interrogated them and then Fornell took them to the FBI to charge them with attempted murder of a Federal officer.” Gibbs swallowed knowing what the next question was going to be.

 

“Where were McGeek and Ninja Chick?” Tony saw the hesitation in both of them. “What happened?” Tony whispered. “Are they hurt? Did they get them as well?”

 

Gibbs took a deep breath trying to bury the rage that was surfacing. “They’re not hurt.” Gibbs barely got the words out.

 

Abby readily agreed though tears formed in her eyes. “They’re ok.”

 

Tony looked at them both. “Then there is more to this story.” 

 

Gibbs was not willing to lie to the younger man. “Yes. There is more.” He took a deep breath. “Can you wait to hear it until Ducky can be here?”

 

“Now you are scaring me. I don’t want to wait – I need to know if something has happened to my friends. Waiting will drive me crazy. I need to know if they are OK. Please…tell me.”

 

Silent tears ran down Abby’s cheeks as Jethro squeezed Tony’s hand knowing that this was something he had to do. “Not something I’m ready to do Tony. But I also don’t want you to worry-“ Gibbs struggled with the words. “But I need Brad here. Not gonna risk you. Can you at least let me do that?”

 

Tony saw the emotions warring on the older man’s face; the fear, concern, and rage. Abby was silent while tears ran down her face and Jethro was worried. What the hell happened?

 

“Call Brad if that will make you feel better. I can wait for that.” 

 

Gibbs squeezed his hand and stood up taking a deep breath before walking out of the room to find a nurse though surreptitiously calling Ducky as well.

 

“Duck.”

 

“He’s doing ok. That’s not the problem.”

 

“He’s asked the question Ducky.”

 

“I know. I asked if he would wait, but he was getting stressed about waiting.”

 

“No, I’m not ready.”

 

“He said he’d wait for Brad.”

 

“Abby’s still here.”

 

“I knew it would be sooner than I wanted. It’s Tony.”

 

“Thanks Duck. Just get here as soon as you can. Maybe you’ll beat Brad.”

 

“I’ll try.”

 

Hanging up his phone Gibbs leaned against the wall. How could he do this? Tony would be devastated. Could he and Abby keep him together until the troops arrived? Fuck, this was a mess. Rubbing his hands down his face he started back towards Tony’s room praying that they would get through this.

 

“Brad is on his way. Be here shortly.” Gibbs stated as he walked through the door.

 

“Call Ducky too?” Tony looked at Jethro cocking his eyebrow.

 

Gibbs nodded. “But when Brad gets here I’ll tell you. I won’t make you wait.”

 

Tony nodded his head as his gut started churning.

 

Walking over to Tony, Gibbs again took his hand and sat down on the bed beside him. He wanted to say so much but was a loss. Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to work it out; Brad walked into the room.

 

“Brad. Thanks for coming. I’m sure you have better things to do, but Jethro insisted you be here.” 

 

Brad quickly set about reassuring Tony. “No biggie. I was on my way back Tony. And you know better, you are never a bother.”

 

Tony chewed his lip. “Ok, thanks. I just wanted to know what happened to Ziva and McGee. For whatever reason, Jethro would only tell me with you present.” He shot Jethro a look. “He also called Ducky.”

 

Brad asked. “Are we waiting for Ducky then?” He took a chair and pulled it closer to the group.

 

Tony shook his head. “No.” He turned his head expectantly at the older man.

 

“Not sure exactly how to tell you Tony; it’s hard to explain and I’m not sure I fully comprehend it myself. You need to understand right off the bat that you have a lot of support and you are not alone.”

 

“I get that Jethro. So what happened?”

 

He took a deep breath before continuing. “You went to get the voiceprints in Royal Woods. Apparently, you met and talked to Eileen, the woman involved in your assault, on the side walk. She was set on trying to make her husband Carl jealous.” Gibbs cleared his throat.

 

“You worked your way a few houses down to the one they lived in where Carl was waiting. He went on the attack right from the start.” Tony watched as the older man clenched the hand that wasn’t holding his into a fist, his jaw tighten and heard the anger in his voice. 

 

“You fought hard and were gaining the upper hand until he pushed you down. You hit your head and were knocked out. He continued working you over and then began stabbing you. The wife came home and after she realized what he had done out of jealousy, she became aroused. They put you in their car and drove for about 45 minutes and left you for dead on the side of the road.”

 

“Stop. I know this part Jethro. I want to know what happened to McGee and Ziva. Where were they? Did I call for back up? What aren’t you telling me?” The monitors reflected Tony’s growing distress as he became more agitated. 

 

Abby managed to speak. “Please Tony, calm down.” Seeing her dismay, he tried to. Brad was looking over everything and shook his head.

 

“If you can’t keep calm Tony I’m going to have to call a halt to this.”

 

“NO! I’ll calm down. But I need to know Brad. Please.”

 

Brad looks at Gibbs and Tony nodding his head.

 

“Where were McGee and Ziva?”

 

“In the car Tony.”

 

“I don’t understand. Did the coms work?” Tony needed to know the answer but knew that he wasn’t going to like it. He had already put the pieces together and feared what Jethro was going to tell him. 

 

Abby and Jethro had both told him that McGee and Ziva were fine and unharmed. He had fuzzy memories of the attack, but he did remember calling for back up and shouting the address. The fact that he was left for dead elsewhere sent more chills up his spine.

 

“Tell me.”

 

Jethro looked at Tony as he whispered. “They turned off their coms.”

 

Tony felt like he’d been punched in the gut. “No…they wouldn’t…we’re partners…friends…family…” Looking at the faces around him, he knew that there was no mistake. They had turned their coms off, left him alone and without back up, effectively turning their backs on him.

 

When he saw the pain in Jethro’s face, he knew what it cost him to tell him that fact. 

 

“Why?” Tony managed to ask.

 

Jethro hung on to his anger by a thread and struggled to answer. “They said it was a joke.”

 

“A joke?” Tony went silent as he tried to rationalize their actions. “This was a joke…I am a joke...”

 

“No Tony, you are not a joke. They were wrong and trust me they are in trouble-“

 

“They left me without back up. I trusted them.” Tony was struggling to hang on to his emotions, but the pain was overwhelming and was making it hard for him to breathe. “We are partners, they are my friends.” He choked out. “Why?” His breathing became ragged as his emotions began to overwhelm him and his eyes started rolling back in his head.

 

“Tony!” Brad jumped up and called for help as Tony’s body seized. His heart beat was erratic and his breathing labored.

 

“Get the crash cart in here.” Brad shouted as he lowered Tony’s bed. “Gibbs, Abby you need to leave.”

 

Abby pulled Gibbs outside in the hall as they waited and prayed.

 

“I shouldn’t have told him. I should have waited. I knew this would be hard…but I never thought this would happen.”

 

Abby looked at Gibbs and saw fear and regret written on his face. She shook her head. “No Gibbs. This is Tony we’re talking about, he would have never accepted no for an answer.”

 

“Can’t lose him Abs.”

 

After several minutes, Brad walked out of the room. “He’s back. His heart stopped when he seized. We managed to get it restarted and its back to a normal rhythm. I’ll be honest; his body can’t take much more. I don’t know how long he’ll be out of it. I don’t want to give him sedation if I can help it.”

 

“I’m not trying to sound dire here, but this was a setback. Do I believe he will be able to overcome this? Yes, but I would advise you stick to the more positive points of this situation when he wakes up. He needs to know he has support; that the majority doesn’t view him as Ziva and McGee have. I recommend that you hold off sharing the videos of their interrogations and arrests.”

 

“I’m going to stay here until Ducky gets here so that I can brief him on the medical aspects and frankly I want to watch Tony for a bit.” Brad eyed Gibbs seeing the sheer rage shining in his eyes. He had thought the man was dangerous and pissed when Tony was first brought in, but looking at him now he realized that was nothing.

 

“Gibbs? Are you alright?” Brad asked casting a worried look at Abby.

 

“No. No, I’m not. This is the second time those two have nearly cost me that man in there. Twice. And he still is unaware of what they actually said. How do you think he’ll take that?” He held up his hand, “Doesn’t matter. When he does, the effect will be the same.”

 

Taking a deep breath, he found he was no longer able to rein in his rage. “Abby, will you stay with Tony? Ducky will be here shortly.”

 

Abby nodded. “You going to see them?” Abby’s tone clearly conveyed her feelings about Ziva and McGee.

 

“Yep. Can’t wait any longer. I’ll be back, hopefully before he wakes up.” He kissed her on the cheek before whispering in her ear, “Take care of him for me Abs.”

 

“Always.” 

 

Brad looked at Gibbs, his eyes narrowed. “Go. Don’t hold back.”

 

Gibbs nodded as he pulled out his phone and dialed. “Get the assholes ready. It’s my turn.”


	18. Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love...tons to Amy for most excellent Beta work!

Fornell closed his phone and started pacing. Something had happened. He knew at some point Jethro would want to pay a visit to his two former agents; that was a given. But something had happened to pull the man way from Tony’s side so soon; his tone of voice gave it away. 

 

Opening his phone, he made a quick call.

 

“Johnson, its Fornell.”

 

“Need David and McGee brought to interrogation.”

 

“Separate.”

 

“How’d you guess?”

 

“True. I have heard enough from the two of them to last a life time. He’s on his way.”

 

“Cuffs, no need for full restraints but I want them to understand this is not a social call.”

 

“No doubt. They will be in for a huge surprise,” muttering under his breath “as long as he doesn’t kill them.”

 

“Thanks.” Fornell sighed as he ended the call. He only hoped that he could prevent the man from doing just that. This was not going to be pretty.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Pulling up to the Hoover Building, Gibbs had no real recollection of how he had gotten there. All he thought about was Tony; wrapped in a bloody sheet lying motionless; the monitors screeching as he lay still, fighting for his life. Most haunting of all was the look of devastation on his face when he was told the true tale of what his partners had done. 

 

Knuckles still white from the death grip he had on the steering wheel, he took a deep breath and wondered how the hell he was supposed to walk in there and not kill the two people that had caused Tony this fight. 

 

He knew that he needed to do this for Tony as well as himself. But how was he going to rein in his own need for retribution? He wanted to inflict the same hurt on them they inflicted on Tony. He wanted them to feel the pain and betrayal from which Tony couldn’t get away. He needed to release his own pent up rage stemming from their actions.

 

He pounded his fist against the wheel over and over again and let the pain course through him, needing it to stay grounded and focus his thoughts. His mind just kept replaying everything repeatedly starting from the time he found Tony. How the hell was he supposed to help Tony if he couldn’t make any sense of this either? Shaking his head sadly, he didn’t need to make sense of it. It didn’t matter what their reasons, excuses, or justifications were because nothing could make this better or go away. 

 

There were no platitudes that they could offer that would heal Tony once he found out the whole story. The man had been devastated when he found out that they hadn’t provided back up. It didn’t take much to figure out how he would react when he learned the whole story. 

 

As it was, he sat in the parking lot trying to tamp down the need to rip them to shreds, knowing he couldn’t lose control. He stepped out of the car, closed the door, and leaned against it closing his eyes, taking a moment to breathe before heading inside.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Entering the building, he caught sight of Fornell leaning against the wall; squaring his shoulders he walked over to him.

 

“Tobias.”

 

“You gonna tell me what happened Jethro? I was expecting your call, just not so soon after DiNozzo woke up.”

 

“Tony was doing ok, talking with Abby but kept looking towards the door waiting for those two to come visit. You know Tony, Tobias. He started putting the pieces together.” Gibbs clenched his fists.

 

“Jesus, Jethro. He knows already?”

 

“Not everything, tried to get him to wait but he was working himself up, getting stressed. The damn machines were going haywire. He at least waited until Pitt was in the room because I asked.” Taking a deep breath, he continued, “I told him that they didn’t have his back.”

 

“Didn’t have a choice Jethro, he was going to ask, and he deserved the truth.”

 

“You didn’t see the look on his face Tobias. And I put it there.” Running his hand through his hair, “He seized and his heart stopped again. He pulled through but he can’t take much more. They caused this just as if they had thrown the punches and plunged the knife themselves.”

 

“Can you do this Jethro? Talk to them and not kill them?” Seeing the glare, he quickly continued, “I’m not saying they don’t deserve it. But DiNozzo needs you with him, not in a prison cell. So I am asking you; can you do this?”

 

His blue eyes narrowed and his control firmly in place, he met Tobias’ eyes. “Yes.”

 

“Then let’s go.”

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Tim sat in the interrogation room wondering why he was still cuffed. Frankly, he wondered why he was there at all. He’d already been interrogated and talked to his lawyer. He chuckled bitterly at that thought. He was paying a great deal of money for someone to tell him there was little defense.

 

Still, he was pleased that a few of the charges were dropped and reduced, and felt positive because of it, though he was still ambiguous on why he should have felt this way. Either way he was definitely looking at prison. He still was unable to wrap his head around that one. Prison. It wasn’t as if he had attacked Tony. That was never his intent.

 

Sighing, he wondered when everything had gone so haywire. He never heard the door open until he suddenly met Gibbs’ ice cold stare. If he could have run, he would have. Never had he ever experienced the stare of what he was sure was death. None of the warmth or steely resolve that was usually present was apparent now. All he could feel was the cold hard fury rolling off him, filling the room, and smothering him. Tim tried to breathe and find his voice wanting nothing more than to be taken back to his cell. Lowering his gaze to his hands hoping to escape Gibbs’ penetrating glare and resounding reproach, he prayed that being in a Federal building would protect him.

 

Gibbs looked at Tim working to keep himself in check.

 

“What the hell were you thinking?” Gibbs’ was voice dark, deadly, and eerily calm.

 

Tim shivered at the words and the unspoken accusations. “It was a joke Boss.” Tim whispered.

 

“Do. Not. Call. Me. Boss.” Gibbs growled. “You lost that right.”

 

“So Tony can play a –“

 

“STOP!” Gibbs took a deep ragged breath as sheer rage pulsed through his body. He was unable to stay silent any longer.

 

“This was in no way, shape or form a joke. Jokes DO NOT end with someone fighting for his or her life. And don’t start with the asinine excuse that you never meant for that to happen. The purpose of back up is to prevent the unexpected, to watch your partner’s back, and to protect one another.” His voice was sharp and controlled and his blue eyes ablaze with condemnation. 

 

“Do you have any idea of what it is costing me not to kill you right where you stand? To sit here and look at you?” His eyes narrowed as he stared at the younger man. “I still can’t guarantee that I won’t. I see nothing redeeming in you. That young man that was trying so hard to grow and become a better agent is no longer here. All I see is a man who set his sights so far up the ladder, he sold his soul.”

 

“Arrogance has its place and it’s a fine line that must be walked when lorded around. You crossed it when another’s life became less valuable in your eyes; when you couldn’t see what was in front of you because all you saw was your needs, your ambition, and your own importance.”

 

“So I should have kept my mouth shut and towed the line when DiNozzo couldn’t cut it?” Tim sneered broken out of his cowed state.

 

Leaning forward over the table Gibbs snarled. “You are sadly mistaken if you believe that Tony can’t cut it. You forgot he and I worked as a two man team before Cait joined us. He did the computer searches and our solve rate is the same as it is now. YOU added nothing to improve that.”

 

“You still don’t see it, you still believe that letters on a diploma as the end all be all of your position. So get it through your thick skull that YOU don’t measure up.” Gibbs voice carried the rage that he felt slicing through Tim’s soul laying him bare. “He would never place you in danger and NEVER place you anywhere without proper coverage and back up. He would always place his safety after the team’s and always stand between a bullet and you if he were able to do so.”

 

Gibbs stood up and walked around to stand behind Tim. “You have no one Tim.” Bending to place his mouth by Tim’s ear, he whispered, “No one to watch your back”. He paced behind the younger man silently letting the words sink in. “No one is looking out for you.”

 

Tim scoffed. “I have friends and family.” 

 

“Really? Where are your friends?” Gibbs moved so Tim could once again see him. “Wanna try that again? Or shall I elaborate?”

 

Tim looked puzzled. “There has been no time for visits.”

 

Gibbs sneered dangerously. “Sarah had time to visit Tony, twice in fact.”

 

Tim shook his head. “No, she…I mean…”

 

“Have I ever lied?”

 

“No.” Tim’s voice was small.

 

“My advice to you is to pray.”

 

“Pray? Why?”

 

“Because if for some reason a prison sentence eludes you I won’t let this slide. Won’t be as pleasant as I am right now.”

 

“I wouldn’t call this pleasant.”

 

Gibbs stood walked towards and opened the door. “You’re still alive aren’t you?” He sneered before he closed the door behind him.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Gibbs leaned against the wall and took several deep breaths as Fornell walked out of the observation room.

 

“Did it help?”

 

“Yes and no.” He answered truthfully. “It’s not enough.”

 

Fornell nodded in agreement. “No, it’s not. But for what it’s worth; you did great. You missed the look on his face when you walked out the door. That boy is scared shitless. Don’t worry, we taped it for you. Figure that DiNozzo would like to see you in action later.”

 

“Thanks. For everything Tobias.”

 

“You’d do the same for me Jethro. You up for David? She’s been asking for you since we brought her here.”

 

“Won’t do her any good. That bridge has been burned. Eli and I had, shall I say, an enlightening conversation.”

 

“Do I want to know?”

 

“You’ll find out shortly.” Taking a deep breath and rolling his neck. “Let’s do this.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Need to get back to Tony. I want this done and over.”

 

“Alright. She’s in the next room.”

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Ziva sat ramrod straight in her chair, her cuffed hands on the table in front of her pleased that they finally acquiesced to her demands that she speak with Gibbs. Ziva wanted to make sure that she gave Gibbs her side of the story and called in her favor. It had certainly taken them long enough. But she really shouldn’t have expected anything more; it was the FBI after all.

 

Gibbs would of course be with Tony. The man had probably whined about being in a hospital and wanting to go home. Though she could understand that way of thinking, she found fault with the dramatic way in which it would have been done. 

 

She had tried again to reason with her father after convincing the guard that she needed to speak with him, but he was still steadfastly holding to the belief that she needed to pay for her actions. It would be only a matter of time before her father came to his senses and remembered that she was his only child.

 

Regardless, she needed to talk to Gibbs and call in her marker. She needed out of here so she could return home and leave all this behind. The one thing that she learned from the scene in MTAC is that she no longer had a place here. It didn’t matter however; she could return to Mossad, and there were advantages to that. They were far superior in their training and more professional in their actions, plus because of who she was, she would step into a higher rank. She would be able to share things she had learned about all the agencies during her tenure in America. Mossad would value her information as it would aid in their ability to infiltrate when and if necessary. Yes, she had made herself invaluable.

 

As the door opened, she sat still listening to the sounds and movements to discern who was entering the room. 

 

“Gibbs.” Surprised when there was no greeting she turned her head to look at the person who entered the room. “You have heard that I asked for you?”

 

Gibbs pulled out the vacant chair and sat silently before her.

 

“You have nothing to say? Am I allowed to defend myself against the allegations or have you made up your mind?” Looking into the man’s eyes, she saw none of the usual affection that he had shown her in the past. Instead, she saw only darkness, his eyes held nothing but rage as he looked back at her. The sheer force and intensity of his emotions directed solely at her made her momentarily falter. 

 

“So you agree with the others.” She sneered. “I thought that you were above that line of thinking; that you were fair.”

 

“How is my sitting here silently unfair?” Gibbs asked his voice hard and unrelenting.

 

“I expect you to hear my side and remember what we share and help me.”

 

“To start I don’t need or desire to hear your side. I can guarantee there is nothing that you can say that will warrant me changing my mind about what you have done.”

 

“So I am to blame for DiNozzo getting hurt in a fight? It was not something that was expected to happen. If he-“

 

Gibbs slammed his hand on the table. “Enough!” He leaned forward his body radiating a dangerous aura from which Ziva could not shy away. “Yes. Tony is fighting for his life and you are to blame. If you had done your job and backed him up, he would not be in critical condition, hanging on by a thread. His meeting the Islanders would have still happened and he probably would still have been injured, but they most certainly would not have been life threatening nor would he have been dumped like garbage on the side of the road, left to die! All you had to do was your job but because you believed it to be beneath you, that HE was beneath you, you opted to leave your partner hanging.”

 

“You never gave a second thought to what you did. I have no desire to hear what you have to say and trust me when I say there is nothing you can say that can change that. I find that your ‘superior’ Mossad skills are severely lacking. You are delusional Miss David if you think your skills compare to Tony’s.”

 

“Miss David? So that is how you wish this to play out?”

 

“This is not a game.”

 

“We shall see.” She scorned.

 

Raising his eyebrow, his blue eyes ablaze with righteous anger, he began to take her apart piece by piece. “I had a conversation with Eli today. He told me a story. Would you like to hear it? It’s ending might surprise you.”

 

“My father called you?”

 

“Called to talk to me and check on Tony. Seems that he has developed respect for him after interrogating him during the Rivkin debacle. If you had been paying attention, you would have noticed the change when Tony managed to turn the table leading him to confess the true reason behind Rivkin’s visit to America. But no, you were still under the delusion that Rivkin was honorable even after you heard the proof otherwise.”

 

“You are mistaken. Tony is a gnat that irritates and needs to be swatted away.”

 

Gibbs voice took on a deadly edge. “No. He took on your father and won. He is the superior agent and has proven that time and time again. You can’t see that because you refuse to see that you are the one lacking. Instead of learning from a seasoned investigator, you’ve found it easier to make assumptions.”

 

“I don’t need to hear you recite your excuses because there is not one justifiable reason that a partner should be left without back up. Your superiority complex became your downfall. Have you not put those pieces together? Your father wants nothing to do with you. Your contacts in other agencies have turned their backs on you. You have no one.”

 

Ziva shook off his oppressive words and played what she deemed her ace in the hole. “But I am not alone Gibbs; I have you. You will help me.” She raised her chin and waited for her words to sink in.

 

Gibbs shook his head as he stood and walked around the table to stand behind her. “You’ve got nothing. I know why you killed Ari as does Vance.” He leaned down to her level. “Surprise.”

 

“No…it is not possible. Why would my father let go of this and inform the very people that he sought to deceive?” Ziva struggled to find ground as her world began to unravel.

 

“Because he made a choice.” Gibbs turned and walked towards the door opening it, “He chose Tony”, and closed the door behind him.


	19. White

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my Beta Amy! SHe is awesome. I can't tell you how much I appreciate her hard work!

Gibbs leaned back against the wall taking a deep breath as he let the adrenaline crash flow through him. He knew it would come, he had been holding so tightly to all his emotions since the start of all this it was bound to happen. He couldn’t deny he needed to release his anger, but it wasn’t enough.

 

Words were only temporarily helpful; he needed a physical outlet as well. He wanted to inflict pain on the both of them; he hadn’t forgotten about the Islanders but Tony wasn’t affected by their actions to the same degree he was by Ziva and McGee’s.

 

The Islanders were strangers and their attack was not personal. It was easier to work through that and move on. But the betrayal by McGee and Ziva was personal. The simple fact was that if they had been doing their jobs, Tony would not have ended up fighting for his life. They were only two houses away.

 

He would find a way to get Tony through this, there was no other option.

 

Looking up he noticed Fornell standing against the opposite wall watching him.

 

“You ok Jethro?”

 

“I’ll live. But this-“, Gibbs gestured between the two Interrogation rooms, “isn’t enough. I don’t feel any relief. I want them to feel the pain that Tony’s felt; every blow, every thrust of the knife and every kick. They need to feel it Tobias. All I want to do is wrap my hands around their throats and squeeze until they draw their last breath.”

 

Gibbs shook his head. “And I’m not sure that is even enough. I don’t know that anything will ever be enough.” The look on his face faltered to one of desolation. “What did I miss, Tobias? How could I have not picked up on the separation? I never saw one sign that things had reached this point.”

 

“I put that look of devastation on his face”, Gibbs held up his hand to halt any argument from the other man. “Don’t care if it’s not a rational thought. All I can see is the look on his face just before he crashed. He was destroyed, so don’t damn well tell me it’s not my fault.” He was angry with himself and his fear that Tony might not recover as well the total rage he was feeling towards the others who caused all of this made its way to the surface.

 

“Why did it take me so damned long to see this? Why did it take something so drastic to make me see what I have known for years? When the fuck did I become such a coward?” His voice diminished to a whisper. “I love him, Tobias.”

 

Fornell walked over and stood toe to toe with Gibbs. “You better damn well listen to me. This. Is. Not. Your. Fault. Period.” Tobias’ voice brooked no room for disagreement. “I’ve got news for you Jethro, you’re not omnipotent. No one and I do mean no one, could have anticipated anything like this.”

 

“It fucking sucks that this happened. It sucks that you can’t lay hands on those two and it is a damn fucking shame that Tony is going to have to deal with this betrayal. Trust me Jethro, I know how that feels. It sucks, hurts, and is a bitch to move past. We will get Tony through this, but I am sure as hell not going to let you tear yourself up over something that you had no control over.”

 

“You and I are going to go to the gym and we’re going to beat the shit out of each other, a punching bag or Sacks; whatever it takes to get you out of this mind set before you go back to the hospital. Tony needs you at the top of your game and I’m gonna make sure that I help you stay there. And since Tony can’t right now, I’ve got your six.”

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Every muscle in his body hurt, but Gibbs had to admit that he felt better. Tobias was right; he had needed to beat the shit out of something. It was a poor substitute, but it helped keep his anger in check and he was grateful for not only the physical outlet, but also the emotional one. 

 

During the drive back to the hospital, he kept thinking about what Tobias said and as much as he hated to admit the guy was right, he was. Might take a bit for it to sink in, but he was going to stop blaming himself. 

 

It didn’t hurt that the other man jumped right on board his train of thought with his own idea that had been kicking around in his head since he visited McGee and Ziva. They had a few details to work out and contacts to make but it was solid and would give him what he needed; a bit of Gibbs justice. Now all he had to do was wait.

 

Pulling into the parking lot, he realized that he felt a bit lighter than he had since all this began. All he had to do was concentrate on Tony. That wasn’t going to be an issue; Vance and SECNAV had already approved his leave. He had no team right now; they wanted to give Tony all the time that he needed hoping that he would choose to return, though no one was taking that as a given.

 

Walking into the hospital, he was ready for the next battle and he had no illusions that it would be exactly that. He had no intention of losing; the cost would be too high.


	20. Brown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love my Beta Amy dearly....she is amazing!

He took a deep breath as he walked into Tony’s room; he wanted to see the younger man to assure himself that he was still there. He was taking nothing for granted. He saw Ducky sitting on one side of his bed reading to him and Abby on the other, stroking his arm. Stepping into the room, he glanced over at Ducky.

 

“How is he Duck?”

 

“Holding his own Jethro.”

 

“What does that really mean Duck?” Making his way over to the bed, he brushed the hair of the younger man’s forehead.

 

“It means that young Anthony is still hanging on, his vitals are stable, and there is no reason not to believe that he will have a full recovery.”

 

Abby looked at Gibbs, her expression warring between concerned, pissed, and worried, “How was the visit? Did they apologize? Admit what they did? Take responsibility?” Her voice wavered.

 

Gibbs leaned down, kissed her temple, and sighed. “Wish I could tell you that they did one or all of those things, but they didn’t.” 

 

“What happened to them Gibbs?” Tears trickled down her face as she looked at Tony. “Why?”

 

“Don’t know why Abs and really, it doesn’t matter. All we need to do is concentrate on Tony.”

 

Abby nodded and used one hand to wipe her tears. “All I can see is the look on this face when he found out what happened. Prison isn’t enough.”

 

Ducky interjected. “Abigail, nothing will ever seem enough when someone you love is hurt. Right now, it is in Anthony’s best interests that we concentrate our efforts on his wellbeing and do our best not to dwell on what has passed. If we retain those negative feelings and allow them to take over, he will feel that.”

 

“It is already going to be quite a battle to convince Anthony that he is blameless for their actions. Trust me, I too wish there was a far better method of justice that could be inflicted on them.”

 

Gibbs debated for a moment before speaking. “I got it covered.” Gibbs ran his knuckles gently down Tony’s cheek grounding him as he continued. 

 

Ducky looked at Jethro over his glasses. “I trust you implicitly Jethro.”

 

Abby nodded. “I have no doubt you will take care of it.” She moved from Tony’s side to give the older man more access.

 

“Abs, you don’t have to move.”

 

“I do Gibbs. I need to go get us something to eat, more Caf-Pow, coffee, tea and I want to call the Sisters.” She leaned down and placed a kiss on Tony’s forehead. “Gibbs is here Tony. I am going to be right back.” She walked to the door, “Any preferences for dinner?”

 

“Anything you chose will be wonderful Abigail. Don’t go to any trouble.” Ducky stood. “I shall go find Bradley and let him know that you’ve returned, Jethro. Abigail let me walk you out.”

 

“Same here Abs. I appreciate it.”

 

Abby graced them with a small smile as Ducky led her out the door.

 

Gibbs sat down by Tony. “I came back as soon as I could Tony. Tobias offered me Sacks up as a punching bag, had to admit it was tempting. But I opted to leave him for you. Tony, I know that finding out what happened is a lot to deal with but you need to know that you’re not alone.”

 

“You have so many people supporting you from SECNAV to the janitor. Leon is behind you one hundred percent. He has been a force to be reckoned with. When you wake up you can see for yourself.”

 

“If you agree we can move anything that you want over to my house, make you comfortable during recovery. And don’t start worrying about me not being at work, Leon and SECNAV have given me leave, didn’t have to ask. Maybe as you get better you can help me finish the boat. And I really want to work on us, discover what we want together and how to make that happen.”

 

“I really want an ‘us’, Tony. The whole shebang. We’ll take it at whatever speed you want or need.” Sighing he looked over at the younger man and saw green eyes staring back at him.

 

“Tony.” Jethro whispered. “Let me call a nurse.”

 

Tony shook his head slightly. “Not yet.” Tony looked at the older man, wanting to say so much yet not sure how to put it together. All he knew was that his world had been turned upside down and he didn’t know how to handle that. He was lost. Everything was fuzzy. He heard the love and support from his friends and family and he was truly grateful, but all he could think about was Ziva and McGee. When he slept, they were in his head. When it was most critical, they didn’t have his back; he didn’t need to have a picture drawn to know why. He wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t as if they had never told him be it by their words or actions.

 

Jethro could hear the thoughts as if they were being spoken; Tony’s facial expressions gave such much away when he let his guard down. “Tony, please don’t.” He spoke so softly Tony almost missed it but he turned his head away. Jethro gently cupped his chin and turned the younger man’s face towards him. “They’re wrong. You did not deserve this. I chose you for my team because you had skills that were remarkable. You always manage to find the missing piece to our puzzles.”

 

“Think about the families that you gave closure to. Tony, don’t let them win. Don’t believe them. If I have to get everyone you have ever helped, every friend and all who love you to parade in and out of your room, I will. You are not alone.”

 

Tony looked in Gibbs’ blue eyes and saw nothing but honesty. “I want to believe you and I’m trying…but I – we were family. I trusted them; believed in them and they left me. There has to be a reason and it has to be my fault, I just don’t know what it was. Maybe it was everything.”

 

“No Tony. There is no excuse for what they did. NONE. I’ll tell you that however many times it takes until you believe it.”

 

Tony bit his bottom lip. “Ok. Let’s say that I believe what you are saying at some point. What if I can’t go back to NCIS?”

 

“The doctors don’t know if any of your injuries would prevent that-“

 

Tony shook his head as he lowered his eyes. “Not what I mean Jethro.”

 

Nodding in understanding Jethro took Tony’s hand in his. “Then you don’t. Whatever you want Tony. Nothing changes what I want for us. It doesn’t matter whether you’re at NCIS or a garbage man. There is no rush for you to decide either way.”

 

“Can we take it slow?”

 

“Anything you need.”

 

“One more question and then you can call the nurse. We can talk more after they poke and prod me. You went to see them. I heard you talking to Ducky. Are you ok?”

 

Jethro took a deep breath. “No. They pissed me off and honestly, it was all I could do to keep my hands off them, but“, he squeezed Tony’s hand. “I kept picturing a future with you and as much as I wanted to hurt them, I knew if I did, I would be taken away from you, and that just wasn’t an option. You are more important.”

 

Tony looked up and took a deep breath, his green eyes clearly spilling every thought and emotion that were causing havoc with him. He wanted to believe that it would be ok, that no matter what he decided it would work out, and that he was worth it. He wanted to trust what he was being told, but he was scared.


	21. Grey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many hugs, HUGE giant ones to mt most wonderful Beta Amy! She makes this all pretty for me...and I appreciate that more than you know.

Tony stared out the hospital window plagued by questions he could not answer, thoughts he could not ignore and pain he could not assuage. He had no clue what he was supposed to do. He had been moved to a private room three days before and since then had been visited by more people than he would have thought cared. At first, he assumed that Jethro had arranged for the visits in an effort to show him that he mattered. That thought was quickly dispelled and the head slap, though gentle, was equally effective. He was grateful for the support and honestly in awe of it. But that didn’t help him as he tried to unravel all the things he was feeling. Hell half of them he couldn’t even describe.

 

Most of the time he felt numb and the rest of the time, he was just pissed off. It seemed like he was pissed at everything; birds singing, hospital food, scratchy sheets and everything in between. He was well aware he wasn’t acknowledging the real reason for his anger.

 

He knew that until voiced, it was going to continue eating him from the inside. To do that though meant he had to face his own guilt, failure, and flaws. He had pushed them to retaliate against him; too many pranks combined with too many smart ass comments. Still, there was a minute part of him that knew regardless of his actions perceived or otherwise, they were the ones that had taken it too far and acted inappropriately and reprehensibly. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs or beat the shit out of something or both.

 

But he couldn’t, he could barely move and frankly, he didn’t have the energy. He was tired of smiling and pretending that he felt better; that he was ok, because he sure as fuck didn’t feel it. What was ok anyway? 

 

Seriously, if one more person told him it wasn’t his fault, he was going tell them all to shut the fuck up. And that made him feel even worse; all they were trying to do was help put the pieces back together. He knew that and was trying to accept it, but believing it was entirely another matter. He hadn’t known he was broken until now. Now all he saw were shards of his faith, trust, beliefs scattered all around, and he had no idea where to start. 

 

Every time he thought about them he could barely breathe, his heart pounded out of his chest and all he could hear was his own voice calling for back up, knowing they would be there and he would be all right. But they weren’t and he wasn’t.

 

Two people that he trusted implicitly with his life believed that his was worth nothing, that it was a joke to leave him without backup. He had to have missed something; done something to them that made them hate him.

 

Sighing, he turned to look at Jethro sleeping in the chair. How was he supposed to believe in everything that the older man was offering when he didn’t believe in himself anymore? How long would it be before Jethro saw what they must have seen?

 

He was barely hanging on by a thread and knew that if he didn’t deal with everything that was swirling in his head it was going to break. Facing inner demons had never been his strong suit; he preferred to bury the pain under a smile and laugh. His motto had always been-‘Smile and the world smiles with you, cry, and you cry alone.’ 

 

It wasn’t going to work this time, not if he ever wanted to have a relationship with Jethro and most certainly not if he wanted to work again. That was something that he was struggling with; would he be able to work again? Physically, it seemed probable but it wasn’t going to happen overnight and it was going to require a hell of a lot of work. But the million dollar question was could he mentally? Every ounce of trust, everything that he held true and faith that he had always believed was unshakable was now gone. Splintered and even though logically he knew that only two people were responsible, he wasn’t sure that he would be able to allow that sort of faith and trust in a partner again.

 

Right now, there was only one person that he trusted without reservation but they couldn’t be a two man team anymore. Would he be able to trust anyone else? He’d almost left law enforcement after Baltimore and if it hadn’t been for one certain Navy cop, he sure as hell would have. 

 

He couldn’t take his eyes off the sleeping man, wanting to somehow to absorb the confidence and strength that permeated the air around him. He struggled with the fact that he was going to need to lean on Jethro because he sure as hell didn’t think he was strong enough to get through this in one piece alone. He felt raw, weak, and flayed wide open. Every time he thought about them, it was like salt being poured into his wounds. How was he supposed to believe in himself when it seemed his track record clearly showed that he shouldn’t? Three partners, Wendy, and even his own father had deemed him lacking.

 

Shuddering with the pain that was flowing through him, both physical and emotional, he tried to remember what Brad, Jethro and Ducky merely to name a few had told him: this wasn’t a sprint but a marathon. Jethro had stressed that however long it took it took, time didn’t matter.

 

He had never had patience, not even as a child, always needed to rush ahead to see what was next and that was going to be one of many of his nemeses’ during this- what do you call it? An ordeal? An incident? Fucking life altering moment? Didn’t really matter what it was called, the fact was it fucking sucked and he had to find a way to come out the other side. Right now, he only had one reason even to try and he hoped that was going to be enough.


	22. Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love. many thanks and huge hugs for my Beta Amy! I souldn't do it without here!

Tony looked at Jethro, his breathing ragged as he struggled to wake from his nightmare. He desperately wanted to get up and run. Run from the room, from the well-wishers, from everyone that told him it wasn’t his fault. How the hell could they know that?

 

He really needed to know, because as far back as he could remember, he was the cause for every bad thing that happened. His mother died, his father said it was his fault because he was too needy. His grandfather died and his father said it was his fault because he wasn’t a good boy. 

 

So many others were hurt because he wasn’t good enough, victims that he wasn’t able to save, Kate, Wendy for not being enough and then add to that partners who turned their back or betrayed him. So how the fuck was he supposed to believe that he wasn’t to blame? Hell, it appeared accepting blame was the only thing he did do well. 

 

The logical side of his brain knew that he wasn’t to blame for everything that was weighing him down, but the other side was struggling to reconcile that fact. God knows he wanted to, hadn’t he carried this around for long enough? 

 

Maybe he needed to accept the fact that he would never be able to be free and move on. Leave NCIS…Washington…Jethro. It might be better for all involved. He wasn’t even sure if he would be able to go back to NCIS anyway. At least Jethro would have a chance for a better partner.

 

“Tony.” Jethro patted his face. “Come on. Please answer me.”

 

Tony looked up at Jethro puzzled. “You were talking to me?”

 

“You had a nightmare; you were having trouble waking up.”

 

Tony shook his head sadly. “It’s not a nightmare Jethro. It’s real and I can’t see it changing. I can’t see it getting better. I can’t see returning to NCIS. How? It has to be something with me, so a new team isn’t going to change the fact that I’ll still be on it. Fucking it up somehow.” Tony’s voice grew louder, darker feeding on everything that he had held inside for years.

 

“I do that so well. Look at my career…can we even call it that? I mean does leaving a job after two years count? Never stayed long, I was smarter back then.” Tony sneered. “I knew I had a shelf life before I spoiled and contaminated everything in my wake.”

 

“You feel it don’t you? All the things that have happened at NCIS are because I spoiled your team. Why the hell you keep me around? The plague, Kate, Maddie, Jenny…do I need to go on? It’s only a matter of time before it gets worse.”

 

Tony laughed somberly, his green eyes dark with hatred directed towards himself. 

 

Jethro met his gaze straight on ready to do battle. “You done?” He asked harshly. “Or do you need to do some more self-flagellation?”

 

Tony shrugged.

 

“Thought so. That the best you got? You must be damn fucking omnipotent to have managed to leave such carnage in your wake. I’m impressed.” He stood up and walked to the bed insuring that he had Tony’s undivided attention.

 

Jethro spoke, his voice resolutely strong and sure as he clearly took apart the younger man’s argument piece by piece.

 

“Enough of this. This stops right here and now.”

 

“That’s rich. Leroy Jethro Gibbs says it ends so of course it does. Do you think it’s that easy?”

 

“No. Not gonna be easy. Never thought it would be.”

 

“Sure it would be for you…Marine tough guy…bet nothing gets to you.” Tony snorted. “My father would have loved to have you as a son. You wouldn’t have cried when he yelled, you would have stood tall when he towered over you.”

 

“But I cried when my mother died, I ran up to my room and cried myself to sleep. He just looked at me in disgust and told me ‘DiNozzo’s don’t cry.’…” Tony’s anger was palpable in the room. “She was my mother Jethro, I was eight, and she left me with him. I had to have done something wrong for that to have happened.”

 

Grabbing the plastic cup on his tray table and flinging it at the wall. “Fuck him…fuck Wendy…fuck them all.” He struggled to catch his breath as the anger filled him. “I am so tired…tired of holding it all in, afraid to let go...afraid to offend anyone.”

 

Ducky slipped in the room unnoticed and stood silently against the wall.

 

“I never say what I think…I hold it in.” Green eyes looked at Gibbs. “I never wanted to do the damn undercover op for Jenny, I wanted to say no…told her Jeanne was not part of it. But I didn’t. I never wanted Ziva on the team…she killed her brother Ari and I never trusted her.”

 

His breath was coming in rapid pants. “I want Abby to stop trying to fix things with my father…I.Don’t.Want.Him.Messing.With.My.Life.”

 

“I should have said so…I didn’t. I never told you how I felt…too scared. I’m scared of fucking up. I’m scared I won’t be able to go back to NCIS and scared that I will be cleared to go back. I’m scared to have to trust someone to have my back. How can I trust anybody again?”

 

“How can I believe in anyone but you? How do I trust my judgment?” Tony whispered as he fell back against the bed.

 

Jethro took the younger man’s hand. “You don’t have to have all the answers today or even tomorrow.”

 

Ducky walked up to Tony’s bed smiling. “Actually my dear boy, you just took the first step. You opened your mouth and spoke up.”

 

Tony shrugged, “Hardly seems that monumental…I speak all the time. Jethro even told me I had too much yabba-yabba.” He snorted slightly as a light headslap made contact.

 

“It is certainly not going to happen overnight, but this was still a step my dear boy. Do you think that Jethro can read your mind?”

 

“No.” Tony sighed. 

 

“As for your fears about NCIS, I suggest that you not worry about that till the time comes. That does not mean that you’re ignoring it, but merely waiting till the healing starts and you figure out what you want to do.”

 

“I hate this Ducky; don’t know how to let it all go.” Tony picked at his blanket.

 

“That is only because you are finally seeing things that those of us who know you have always known.”

 

“What’s that?”  
“That you’re worth it.”


	23. Charcoal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks...lots of hugs and tons of love to my most awesome Beta Amy!

Jethro sighed, relieved that Tony had finally fallen asleep. Rolling his neck to relieve the tension that had been building up over the day, he again questioned his decision. Why the hell did he think that he and Ducky would be able to help Tony? His doubt was only magnified exponentially after listening to what Tony said. 

 

The pain, devastation, and betrayal that poured out of the younger man had been crushing. Every word and event that Tony shared flowed through his body and weighed him down; and if that was what it was like second hand, he couldn’t imagine how Tony managed to hold it all in.

 

Both he and Ducky had tried to get the younger man to talk to Dr. Cranston and he had adamantly refused. But as a concession, he agreed to talk to Ducky and himself so he wasn’t going to push. But was having a hard time believing they could handle what lay in store. 

 

He turned to Ducky. “Duck…the stuff that he was saying…things that he’s gone through and not to mention this whole situation…are we capable of this? I sure as hell don’t feel like I am.”

 

“Ah Jethro. There will be no winners in this circumstance and I certainly understand that you may feel out of your depth. I have asked myself that very same question today. But the fact remains that Anthony needs us, needs you so that makes you the perfect person for the task.”

 

“He has already opened up far more than I had ever dared hope. That is a start, quite an auspicious one at that. I am certain that we have yet to scratch the surface and I dare say he will go through more moments of dark rage. What he expressed earlier has only been sidelined as the new onslaught of emotions took over. I’ve no doubt that it will resurface with a vengeance.”

 

Gibbs nodded. “Figured that wasn’t all he had in him. Is there something else we can do? He needs an outlet and right now, he physically can’t release his stresses. He can’t go to the gym, the gun range or run. That’s how he has always dealt with things in the past. He needs a place to release his aggression.”

 

Ducky looked at Jethro. “I think you’ve hit upon a brilliant idea. We merely need to figure out logistics or if there is such a place.”

 

“Duck?”

 

“Imagine you have all this pent up rage, it has been building up since you were a small boy. I dare say his upbringing followed the adage that children should be seen and not heard and he has kept that practice regarding his true emotions. This event was the catalyst to opening his Pandora’s Box so to speak.”

 

“It is opened and the only way for that young man to heal is to get everything out. We need to locate a place that would allow him to free those dark demons, finally releasing them into the open. If we needed to find the proverbial the silver lining among these clouds, this would be it. This could be a chance for Anthony to have nothing weighing him down.”

 

“But we do need a place where he can let it go and I have an idea about that. Abigail should be able to help me in that regard.”

 

Gibbs looked at Tony as he digested what Ducky said. “I trust you Duck. Do whatever you think is best.”

 

Ducky looked at Jethro and smiled. “Jethro, trust your gut as you always have. It has yet to lead you astray and I see no reason to believe it will now.”

 

Gibbs sighed. “I know…but-“

 

Ducky held up his hand. “No buts, I have faith in you and I know that Anthony believes in you unequivocally. But we should now grab a bit of repose ourselves. We must be ready to help deal with whatever rises to the surface next.”

 

“Any guesses?” Gibbs asked with a hopeful tone.

 

“I am afraid in this instance I am flying quite blind. I consulted, anonymously of course, with a very dear friend, and the best piece of advice I received was to let Anthony lead the show. Deal with whatever rises to the surface as it comes regardless of order. When his psyche is ready to let go it will and Anthony then must deal with it.”

 

Gibbs looked pensively at Tony. “Makes sense. Your friend say anything else that could help us here?”

 

“Just to be supportive and remember that though occasionally the anger may appear personal it most certainly is not. We’re merely a convenient target. I truly don’t believe that will be pertinent in Anthony’s case however, he is far too willing to lay all blame at his own feet.”

 

He walked over, sat down in his chair by Tony’s bed, and stretched out placing his hand on the younger man’s arm before closing his eyes.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Tony thrashed in his sleep and was in danger of aggravating his injuries if Jethro hadn’t jumped in to wake him.

 

“Tony. Come on, wake up.” He kept repeating it over and over as he ran his fingers through the younger man’s hair in a comforting manner. “It’s ok; I’m here…wake up Tony.”

 

His green eyes began to flutter open and looked around apprehensively before settling on Jethro. He looked into Jethro’s blue eyes which looked back at him with great love and concern when the realization hit him…he didn’t deserve the man. What the hell was he thinking? 

 

He had to end it now before he managed to turn Jethro against him. Everybody left him. His mother; his father couldn’t stand to be near him, hell he even left him in a hotel room. What did that say? What about all the college girlfriends? He wasn’t really a playboy; he always wanted a real relationship.

 

Then Wendy…when it was over, she never even talked to him, just left. He started to spiral into a vicious whirlwind of despair and depression. Dark emotions washed over him and he felt as if he was starting to drown; he hurt, everything hurt. Malevolent thoughts of the past infiltrated his mind and each one proved to him that no matter what, he wasn’t worth it.

 

He just wanted to disappear into the nothingness and let go. He needed to get away before Jethro left him like all the others. McGee and Ziva; they knew, they saw what Danny had seen. He struggled to catch his breath as it all crashed down and suddenly he was ready to surrender to it all; to let go and stop fighting. Enough was enough.


	24. Ash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thank to my most awesome beta Amy! She is awesome! Gotta love her!

Jethro leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath, his emotions running rampant. His heart was pounding and he wasn’t sure he was ever going to breathe normally again. He knew that Tony had almost given up. He watched it happen, frozen, helpless as he struggled to fight an invisible enemy.

 

Ducky walked in the room and saw Jethro looking at Anthony as though he were afraid to look away, his face pale, nearly drained of color. He quickly looked to the younger man lying in the bed to assess if a set back had occurred to cause the desolate look Jethro wore. 

 

“Jethro?” Ducky asked gently not wanting to startle the man. “Are you all right?”

 

“No, Duck…I am nowhere near all right.” He ran his hands down his face trying to settle his nerves.

 

“What on earth happened?”

 

Turning to face Ducky, his blue eyes clearly showed the remnants of the onslaught of fear for Tony after what they had just experienced.

 

“I don’t know how to explain it Duck.” Jethro’s forehead creased as he struggled to find a way to explain to his friend what happened.

 

***Flashback***

Tony was thrashing on the bed in the throes of a nightmare; Jethro jumped up from the chair to get in a better position. “Tony. Come on, wake up.” He kept repeating it over and over as he ran his fingers through the younger man’s hair in a comforting manner. “It’s ok; I’m here…wake up Tony.”

 

Tony’s green eyes began to flutter open looking around apprehensively before settling on Jethro who was looking back with only with love and concern. The older man watched as Tony shrank away from him without even moving his body.

 

“Tony. I’m right here.”

 

He watched Tony’s eyes change from their vibrant green to a dull grey as whatever was running through his mind took hold. Jethro could see that he was being inundated with all sorts of images, memories, and feelings and there wasn’t a damned thing he could do. The attached monitors indicated that Tony’s heart rate was slowing, his blood pressure was lowering, and his oxygen was at a dangerously low level. At any second, the alarms would start bleating.

 

He was a Marine, fought in wars, battled the enemy, and as an agent fought for justice, but those were all enemies that he could see and touch. What was going on with Tony was internal and he didn’t know how combat that. Remembering Ducky’s advice ‘to trust his gut’, he did just that.

 

“Tony. Listen to me”, he spoke with a firm tone. “Fight it. Fight it with everything that you have. I’ll be right here.”

 

Tony seemed to be unaffected by the words that Jethro spoke and just stared off into the distance at an invisible point in front of him as he drew further and further into himself. His eyes began to close, and the older man was left to struggle to bring him back before it was too late. The first alarm began to send out its warning – blood oxygen levels were below normal. Not too soon after the blood pressure monitor wailed indicating the situation was dire at best.

 

Jethro felt like he was speaking to thin air but he knew he had to make the words count; they had to reach inside of Tony and grab hold to bring him back. Deciding to fight fire with fire, Jethro grabbed a hold of Tony’s face intent on keeping contact with him as he spoke. Hospital staff burst through the door intent on doing their job but Dr. Pitt, arriving at the same time held them at bay, waiting to see if Jethro could and would pull Tony out of this.

 

“Tony, I bet those thoughts swirling in your head are filling you with all kinds of shit. Think I don’t know or understand how vicious those voices can be? Heard loud ones after Shannon and Kelly were killed. Each one blaming me for their deaths and I couldn’t argue with them.”

 

“I felt like I had caused their deaths. I wasn’t there, I didn’t protect them, and each word came with barbs that attached themselves to my heart slowly killing me from the inside. I wanted to let go of the pain, the anguish and accept the blame.”

 

“Nearly did too. Had a gun in my hand and was ready to end it all. But I didn’t. Know why?” He didn’t wait for a response, his voice gained strength and power as he shared his own pain and feelings of despair with Tony.

 

“Because I heard another voice, weaker, but I heard it and it kept saying it wasn’t true. I couldn’t have saved them, it wasn’t my fault, and that my death wouldn’t solve anything. It took a while, but I finally listened…put the gun away and let go. Screamed my head off.”

 

“I’ll be your voice Tony. I’ll be there to remind you that you’re worth it. That Wendy was a fool and your father was wrong. Kate was not your fault. Danny was not your fault. And if I have to shout it from the roof and head slap you into kingdom come, what McGee and Ziva did WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.”

 

“Hear my voice and tell every other voice in your head to shut the fuck up.” His voice was raspy with emotion as his pain mixed with Tony’s, “You’re worth it Tony. I need you. You matter and no one in your past or future will change my mind. I told you that when I guided you to the Human Resources office, remember? Rule 5- You don’t waste good. And damn it Tony, you’re good.”

 

Exhaustion took over and he breathed out one last time, “You’re good.”

 

Tony’s eyes opened and locked onto Jethro’s searching for any sort of deceit or betrayal and only saw honesty. He understood that the man in front of him would never lie to him. More importantly, Jethro believed he was good and worth it. And for once, he needed and wanted to believe that; latching on to Jethro, Tony buried his head in the older man’s neck and let go.

 

The tears that he hadn’t shed for the deaths of his mother, his grandfather, Kate and for a childhood lost were released. Countless tears for every word that had hit their mark and chipped at his soul, and finally for the betrayal that came unexpectedly and shattered the very last shred of belief in himself. 

 

Rounding on his staff, Dr. Pitt ushered them out of the doorway and as the door silently closed, he intoned “There are some wounds only love can heal. Be mindful of that because love comes in many different forms and packages.”

 

Jethro held on to Tony for dear life imparting his strength to the younger man. He knew that he had come to close to losing Tony; that he had been ready to let go and give up his will to fight. Pulling him closer against his body not wanting to let go he began stroking his hair as he murmured soft words of comfort in his ear. Feeling Tony’s breathing change he realized that he had fallen asleep and as gently as possible, he laid the younger man back down on the bed.

 

***End Flashback***

 

Jethro still shaken by the whole episode just looked at Ducky. “What if I hadn’t been able to get through to him Duck?” Running his hand with great agitation through his silver strands, “There was a moment I didn’t think…I mean he…Jesus Duck.”

 

Placing a comforting hand on his friend, he nodded in understanding. “You would be the only one who could Jethro. You’ve battled your own demons. Anthony trusts you as no other. Don’t dwell on the what ifs Jethro. It certainly won’t do anything other than drive you mad.”

 

“All that matters is that dear boy has managed to find some solace and comfort at last. I daresay he never had an opportunity before to shed tears for anything that caused him pain. He’s kept bottled it up under a smile and a joke or movie reference swallowing it as he has done all his life.”

 

“Is that enough Duck?” He intently watched Tony sleep.

 

“It’s a start and a very good one at that.”


	25. Flesh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks ( more than you can imagine) go to my awesome Beta Amy! Without her none of this would be possible.

Tony startled awake and frantically looked around. He was relieved when he saw Jethro asleep in the chair beside him reaffirming that he was all right and safe. The nightmares were coming with far less intensity since he had begun to open up and talk to Ducky and Jethro.

 

It sure as hell wasn’t easy bringing everything up and talking about it. More than once, he had yelled at the both of them to leave him the fuck alone. All he had wanted was quiet away from the memories, silence from the words that had been spoken to him over the years and freedom from the pain they inflicted. 

 

Trying to hide from the two of them proved futile and the only reprieve he received was when they were sleeping or out picking up food. And as much as he was thankful for that peace, he dreaded it as well. Silence gave free reign for his mind to think over everything that had poured out of him. Looking at it after the fact did not make it less hurtful.

 

Tony fell back against his pillow exhausted. A morning of PT, breathing exercises and endless talking was far more exhausting than he could have imagined. But for the first time in a very long time, he started to feel the weight being lifted off his back. It wasn’t gone but it was being chipped away and maybe, just maybe he could finally be free of it.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Ducky stood by Tony smiling and watching as he cracked his eyes open.

 

“Good morning Anthony. How are you feeling?”

 

“Not sure yet Ducky. Might take a few minutes for my brain to come on line.” As he slowly raised his bed to an upright position, Jethro walked back in the room smiling with a carrier tray of drinks.

 

“Told ya Duck. Knew he was gonna wait for the coffee before he opened his eyes.” He handed Tony a cup. “No coffee yet for you, but thought you might like some hot chocolate.”

 

Tony’s eyes lit up. “Thank you.” He greedily took a sip before relaxing back in bed. He looked between Ducky and Jethro and got a feeling that there was something going on. “OK…spill. What is it?”

 

Ducky hastened to reassure Tony. “Nothing bad dear boy. Just have some news about your release and a few ideas I want to run by you.” Seeing the younger man relax he continued. “Bradley has decided that with strict guidelines that you may be released tomorrow.”

 

Tony looked a little apprehensive. He wanted to go home but wasn’t sure he was ready to leave the protective bubble of his hospital room. 

 

Jethro watched Tony carefully and had an idea of what was going through his mind. “You’re coming to my house. You’re still on PT and nowhere near one hundred percent yet. You won’t be alone. Plus we still have things we need to work through.” 

 

Tony nodded feeling a bit off balance by the realization that he wasn’t ready to be alone. A mixture of emotion coursed through him. “But I should want to be alone; I should be fighting you tooth and nail.” 

Tony shook his head angrily. “But I feel relieved and that pisses me off more. Two steps forward three steps back. When the hell am I going to feel ‘normal’? And what is normal for me now? Am I ever going to feel like I’m not standing on the precipice ready to jump off?”

 

His fists clenched and unclenched around the sheets as he lifted his head to look at both men. “I know we’ve talked about there not being a timetable or time limit but seriously I am tired of feeling so off balance and out of control.” He reached for his water cup hoping to reign in the storm brewing inside.

 

“I HATE THIS.” Tony growled as he hurled the cup against the wall, his breathing ragged.

 

“Anthony, this was never going to be easy and you know that. You’ve had years to perfect your method of pushing everything down, locking it away or burying it. This event became the catalyst for releasing years of buried pain and emotion. You feeling on edge is certainly normal considering everything that has been pulled out of you.”

 

“You will regain your balance and control I assure you. In that regard, I have a few ideas to help you. I have found a place where you can safely relieve some of your anger and pent up frustration in your limited physical capacity. Abigail knows an artist that does glass mosaics, quite beautiful really. I went there to discuss the situation with him and saw several intricate pieces. He owns several studios-“

 

“Duck!” 

 

“Sorry Jethro. As I was trying to say Anthony, he has a room where he throws all matters of glass against the wall to create the myriad of small glass pieces for his creations. It will be the perfect place for you to let out your rage and allow you more healing.”

 

“Now for my next proposal and I dare say you won’t be as on board with it, but you need to think about it Anthony and give it serious consideration. I believe it is imperative for your recovery. And it has a twofold bonus if you will.” Ducky stopped and took a breath as he looked at the younger man.

 

“It is time Anthony for you to find your voice.” Seeing the perplexed look on both of the other men’s faces, he explained. “It is time that those who have inflicted pain upon you become aware of it. Don’t look at me that way young man.” Ducky narrowed his eyes at Tony.

 

“This is something that you have thought about; speaking to Ziva and Timothy. And I believe that in the future you should do that, but not for the reason that you think. You want to talk to them to find a reason, hear their side, and allow them to speak their piece.” 

 

Ducky moved to stand by Tony. “What I want is for you is a bit different. I want you to confront them with the facts and the knowledge that they are wrong. I want you to waltz in there and no matter what tripe they spew, it will have no effect. As Jethro has clearly stated and I have reiterated, they have no excuse for their actions; you did not deserve it. Do you believe that yet?”

 

Tony sighed, his eyes downcast, “Getting there…but don’t feel it yet.” 

 

Jethro moved closer and grabbed his hand. “You will Tony.”

 

Lifting his eyes to meet Jethro’s that shone with nothing but love, pride, and honesty, he knew that they were right. “When?”

 

“When you’re ready. When you’ve tossed out all the garbage that people have filled you with. When you no longer make excuses for others and take the blame. When you believe that you’re worth it.”

 

Tony chewed on his bottom lip. “I’d like that to be sooner rather than later.”

 

“It will. You’re working on it and doing a damn fine job just hang in there.”

 

“Jethro is quite right dear boy. You’ve made great strides and have surpassed what I had hoped for regarding you opening up. This is why it is time for you to have words with a few choice people, me being one of them.”

 

Tony turned his head in surprise at Ducky.

 

“Don’t look surprised Anthony. Even those that love you can unintentionally inflict pain. And I want to hear you tell me. Jethro wants to hear you and Abby needs to hear you. Just because we’re family and loved ones is not an excuse to let us get away with it.”

 

Tony began to shake his head. “I can’t do it Ducky. There isn’t anything worth mentioning.”

 

“I don’t believe you Anthony.” Ducky said in disbelief. 

 

“Maybe some small things a long time ago, but it’s all said and done.”

 

“Tell me Anthony.”

 

Tony felt very uncomfortable and kept his focus on the bedding not looking at Ducky. “When Jethro had his Mexican siesta I wanted to confide in you, I missed him and the team was treating me like shit. But you were so mad at him yourself you couldn’t get past that.” Taking a deep breath Tony hastened to assure the older man. “But it was ok, I got through it.”

 

“Look at me Anthony.” Ducky’s tone brooked no refusal and Tony raised his eyes to look at the older man. “I was wrong. I was so busy being angry with Jethro I refused to see your need, believing my anger was greater. I did let you down Anthony and you have every right to be upset with me.”

 

“No, Ducky, it’s ok.”

 

“No Anthony it’s not.” Ducky smiled sadly. “Keep going dear boy. Let us have it. We’ve earned it.”

 

Jethro looked over and decided to up the ante. “What about my Mexican siesta? Or maybe when I came back and left again without saying anything – that make you feel good? And then I came back again and stayed and had your stuff tossed on your desk? Bet you liked that, didn’t you?” 

 

Tony snapped his head up his eyes blazing with anger. “No, it made me feel like shit. Just like when you left with a ‘You’ll do’- that inspired the team, that’s for sure. And when you tossed my crap back on my desk like you never left, I felt like I never mattered.”

 

“But hey, why not? Not like you didn’t have your own rules. Broke rule one a lot Jethro. How many times am I supposed to get screwed over? Went off on your own too many times and I had to save your ass. Jumped in the water and saved you and Maddie. Did you say anything to me? So you won’t apologize, but is a thank you too much?”

 

Tony took a breath and continued fueled by anger as it poured out. “Ducky, when we were on the Chimera you made me feel three inches tall because of my fears. I get they may not be rational but I did have the plague. I tend to get nervous around rats and when you mentioned the hemorrhagic fever I admit I got a bit paranoid.”

 

“You weren’t the only one. McGee kept rolling his eyes and Boss you made me touch the rat. It may not have seemed like a big deal to all of you but I was nervous. And what about the dinner with Ziva? Did you even wonder why I wasn’t there? Did I matter? You sure decided that you needed to talk about it and made sure to point out I wasn’t there.”

 

“Well guess what…I wasn’t even invited. That make you feel better now? Do you know what the team did while you were gone Jethro? They kept reminding me I wasn’t you, that I was not worthy and they would rather I be gone.” Tony was breathing ragged as he finished.

 

Jethro gently took Tony’s face in his hands. “I’m sorry Tony. You really should have talked to me, never feel that you can’t tell me anything even if you think I don’t want to hear it. I need to know; I am not infallible, and you need to call me on it when I screw up.”

 

The younger man looked at Jethro in shock. “You apologized. What about your rule?”

 

“I was wrong and this is important, you’re important.”

 

“But I really am ok Jethro, I don’t need an apology.”

 

“You may be ok Tony, but that does not make what I did right. The apology was deserved. I am sure I’ll screw up again and guess what? I’ll apologize again. Time for a rule modification.”

 

“Anthony I never knew and I am deeply ashamed of my behavior. I am so sorry dear boy for making you feel like that.”

 

Tony shrugged. “You had a lot on your mind Ducky; you didn’t do it on purpose.”

 

“Perhaps not but I’m appalled none the less. You deserve better than how I’ve treated you.”

 

“All water under the bridge Ducky.”

 

“Your propensity for forgiveness is an admirable trait Anthony, but you underestimate your value in the equation. Don’t just unequivocally grant it, make sure that it has been earned and that the apology is sincere.”

 

Tony nodded.

 

“How did it feel to let that out?” Jethro ran his fingers over Tony’s hand.

 

“Weird, awful, good and some relief mixed with guilt.” Tony pursed his lips together. “Worried that you would be angry.”

 

“Wouldn’t matter if we were angry Tony, doesn’t change the fact that we were wrong.”


	26. Citrine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love and adore my Beta Amy! She totally rocks!

Tony nervously wrung hands as he tried to gather his thoughts before Ducky returned with Abby and she came crashing through his door. He had been inexplicably grateful when Jethro and Ducky had told everyone that visiting was to wait until he was at home and had his bearings.

 

Care packages still arrived at the hospital in forms of food, treats, movies and books to show support, but everyone understood that he had a lot to work out before he felt like having company. To have everyone respect his boundaries meant more to him than he or she would ever know.

 

He really wasn’t ready to show a happy façade armed with his rapier quick wit, not that Jethro would let him hide behind that anyway. He and Ducky had been very clear on that from the get go and he sure as hell didn’t want to get on the bad side of those two.

 

It had taken some reassurances and slight convincing but he had managed not to beat himself up too badly after confronting Jethro and Ducky. Didn’t mean that he liked it, though he had to admit it felt good to get it off his chest and out in the open.

 

Abby was an entirely different story, but that didn’t excuse her actions as he was reminded none too gently. He was beginning to understand and accept everyone should be held accountable for the choices they made as he continued to dredge up things from the dark depths of his soul. He could do this- he had to do this.

 

The words Jethro spoke kept going through his mind repeatedly and each time he heard them he struggled less and less and began to accept them at face value. He was worth it.

 

Tony sighed as memories were hauled to the surface he had once thought buried too deeply to rise again. He really didn’t want to examine them; the pain that came with them was unbearable. He sure as hell didn’t feel like he could reconcile his pain by a dead parent and as for the pain inflicted by his father, he was going to have to dig deep to even touch the surface. It was possible that he would never be able to be free from more than a small portion of that.

 

He had inadvertently idolized his mother upon her death more than likely because he was so young and simply couldn’t allow himself to remember her anything other than loving. She had been a loving mother and they had happy times together but there was a dark side to her as well. That side only showed up when she had been drinking and unfortunately, it had been more often than not.

 

He hadn’t been kidding when he had mentioned that she drank his sea monkeys, the canopy bed or her desire to continue to dress him in sailor suits far beyond the acceptable age and that was just the tip of the iceberg. So he had to make peace with her actions without the ability to confront her and he had done so.

 

But his father was a different ballgame and he knew that he would need to confront the man eventually. He held no illusions that anything would come of that and truthfully, it wasn’t for Senior that he wanted such a confrontation.

 

He expected nothing more from his father than total denial for anything he had done and felt he would turn things around to place blame elsewhere anyway. But he needed to take charge of their relationship and father or not he wanted to inform the man that unless he had designs on building a real and accepting relationship with him, he should stay away. He was all grown up now and no longer needed nor required parental approval, or so he kept reminding himself.

 

Tony knew that ending the merry-go-round, revolving door relationship with his father would on one hand be liberating and the other devastating. Just because the confrontation was the healthy thing for him to do did not make it easy, something he had learned quickly over the past few days. 

 

He looked at the clock. Ducky would return in about an hour with Abby in tow. Sensing Jethro’s gaze upon him he looked up and met his blue eyes which were full of concern as he waited for him to vocalize what was on his mind.

 

“Jet…”

 

Sensing the hesitation as Tony struggled to put words to his thoughts, he quietly waited for the younger man to continue.

 

“All this talking and bringing up the crap that I buried – I had to look at my parents too and am starting to see things more clearly than I had been or more truthfully, allowed myself to.”

 

“I need to see my father”, Tony bitterly chuckled, “if he can be bothered. But more than that, I need to set some ground rules or rather one rule.” He looked up; his eyes clearly reflected the pain he was feeling. Taking a deep breath he spurred forward determined to get out all at once.

 

“I only want him in my life if he can be supportive, accepting, and real.” Tony began to struggle to get it all out. “I don’t want a father, I want a dad. One who believes I matter, believes in me, who visits just because he misses me, one who’s proud of what I do and who I am. One that loves me for me. Is that too much to ask?”

 

“No, Tony that is not too much to ask. You have always deserved that and more.”

 

“Then why does it feel like the world is crashing in?” Pain marked every word.

 

“Because it’s your father. Every kid wants that and most fathers are like that without request. It hurts because you know it is not likely to happen no matter how much you want it to.”

 

Jethro watched as uncertainty and resignation flickered across Tony’s face.

 

Tony continued in a quiet subdued whisper. “Maybe I should just forget about it.”

 

Jethro kept his gaze on Tony. “Will that make you feel better than confronting him?”

 

The younger man shook his head. “Yes.” As the word slipped from his mouth he knew that was true and it pissed him off. “What the fuck Jethro? Do I need to lay my soul bare down to the thread that is holding it together? Are you enjoying seeing me this way? Hell for all I know maybe you’re getting off on this and are beginning to realize that my father is right.” His breathing was ragged as he continued, “That I am worthless and belong in the gutter. Maybe I don’t feel like putting a spotlight on the charade that made up my family anymore and would prefer living in the land of denial that I built. Did anyone ever stop to consider that?”

 

Jethro cocked an eyebrow and looked at Tony. “Hey if that is what you want to do, go ahead. Hide it away and let it eat at you. Then when your father comes you can let him poke at the wounds he gave you and make them bleed again.”

 

Glaring at Tony, he moved closer to the bed. “But don’t for one minute think that I believe your father is right, I don’t. You have never been worthless and sure as hell won’t end up in the gutter. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

 

“It’s your decision Tony, always has been. But remember how well denial and burying this shit has worked for you so far. Nobody ever said that this was going to be easy, but I know that you can do it.”

 

“I’m fucking tired Jethro. I have been fighting off this shit since I was a child. My mom, dad, relatives, and I could go on. I want the damn sticker that says ‘Kick Me’ removed and to be able to look at people without always having to question their motives. I. Am. Tired. Of. People. Fucking. With. Me.” Tony shouted from the top of his lungs.

 

Jethro looked at Tony and quietly said. “Then do something about it.”

 

As if a light bulb went on above Tony’s head, everything made sense. He knew logically what talking to Jethro and Ducky meant and what it was doing for him, along with the confrontation with Abby. However, this was the first time that he felt it throughout his entire body and actually felt his shattered belief in himself being mended back together.

 

Raising his green eyes to meet blue he knew that no matter what Jethro believed in him and if he stumbled along the way he would be there to pick him up. He could do this and more than that, he needed to do this. 

 

“Damn.” 

 

Jethro reached over and brushed the hair off Tony’s forehead. “I’ll support you whatever you decide. I told you that when you agreed to open up to me and Ducky all decisions are up to you. I’ll encourage you not to bury shit again and gladly play devil’s advocate giving you honesty. But ultimately what you chose to do is up to you.”

 

“I know”, giving Jethro a half smile, “sucks sometimes. I’d rather you made the decisions; I mean you’re the boss.”

 

Jethro chuckled. “Not in our private life Tony, we’re equal partners.”

 

Tony’s grin was a bit brighter than before. “I like that, don’t think I have ever had that Jet.”

 

“First time for everything.”

 

Tony sighed and looked over at the wall. “Yeah”, picking at the covers with his fingers, “Then I’m going to do it. Stand up to my father for the first time. Time for me to put on my big boy pants.”

 

“How does that make you feel?”

 

“Like I’m doing what’s best for me.”

 

Jethro grabbed Tony’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Proud of you Tony.”

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Ducky made his way down to the lab to pick up Abby, deciding earlier to drive her in so that he could prepare her somewhat. He was already painfully aware of how difficult this confrontation would be for Anthony and hoped by making Abby understand, he could ease the way for the young man.

 

He walked into her lab and smiled as she barely contained her enthusiasm. 

 

“Abigail may we sit for a moment before we make our way to see Anthony?”

 

Puzzled, she nodded and grabbed the remote to turn off the music. “Of course. I’m just excited. I just can’t wait to see him. It’s been hard waiting, ya know? I thought you and Gibbs were waiting till he was released from the hospital.” Abby began to pace and wave her arms excitedly. “But, hey that’s cool, I need to see him and give him a hug. I mean I have been giving him hugs in my mind but it’s not the same.”

 

She turned and looked at Ducky with a panicked look on her face. “Oh my God…he’s alright isn’t he?”

 

“I assure you Abigail, Anthony is on the road to recovery.” Ducky quickly reassured her. “But he is going through a lot and beginning to open up. I need you to do something for me that is going to be a bit of a challenge for you my dear.”

 

“I need you to contain your exuberance a bit and your natural curiosity. Wait for Anthony to show you what he needs. We’re finding that he has been hiding a great deal of pain underneath that smile.”

 

Abby narrows her eyes. “Who Duckman? Nobody hurts my Tony. I’ll take care of them just tell me who.”

 

“Then we have a problem my dear.”

 

“Why?”

 

“You would have to dispose of Jethro and myself along with a myriad of others.”

 

Abby shakes her head. “You two would never hurt Tony.” 

 

“Perhaps not intentionally, but we have hurt him none the less.” Ducky gave Abby a pointed look.

 

Abby lowered her eyes and whispered. “I’ve hurt him too haven’t I?”

 

“I am afraid so my dear but you are certainly not alone in that regard. I want you to listen to Anthony and if he decides to share that pain with you, make sure that you hear him. Do not ask if he has something to tell you, he needs to open up on his terms. Do not make excuses for your actions; only see them through his eyes and how he felt.”

 

“If that’s what he needs Ducky. Anything for Tony.” Two tears rolled down her cheeks. “I never meant to hurt him.”

 

“I’m sure you didn’t my dear and I am certain that he is aware of that on some level. But that does not negate the fact that you and the rest of us have caused Anthony a great deal of pain.”

 

Abby nodded.

 

Ducky sent her a smile. “It’s always harder when friends and family are involved. The pain sinks to a deeper level and is harder to erase from the mind. But Anthony has risen to the task of healing and I have no doubt that he will be successful.”

 

“Will he forgive us Ducky?”

 

“Anthony has shown great propensity for forgiveness since I have known him. I have no doubt that he will if we in turn are truthful in our apologies.”

 

Abby took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “I’m ready Ducky. Time for me to face the music.”


	27. Peridot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love my Beta...can't say that enough!

Abby knocked on the door as she waited uncharacteristically still and quiet. She sighed when she heard Tony’s voice granting her entry. Slowly opening the hospital door, she entered the room followed by Ducky. Her eyes sought Gibbs hoping to bolster her courage before she turned them onto Tony. Seeing the look of pain, fear, and desolation in his eyes, the full realization of everything she had done came crashing down on her. She silently made her way over to stand by his bed.

 

Every word, every action became clear in her mind and she knew without him ever saying a word that she had caused him far more pain than she had ever realized. This time she knew nothing she could say would make it better for either of them; she had only herself to blame, no one could save her. 

 

She met Tony’s green eyes willing him to understand that she grasped her part in his pain and silently begged for forgiveness and understanding.

 

Tony sat silent and waited for Abby to speak and give him a clue to what she was thinking and feeling. But her continued silence began to irritate him. He needed to hear her and for once, he was not going to let things slide.

 

“Words Abby. We use words here”. His voice conveyed the rough anger that he was allowing to surface.

 

Abby surprised by his tone of voice, stumbled over her words. “Hi Tony. How are you feeling?” The lameness of her choice of words was not lost on her and she grimaced. 

 

Tony for his part as he tried to reign in his building anger, made his answer short and sweet. “Doing better. Working on stuff.”

 

“Can I help?” She moved closer to his bed and tried not to let her nerves get the better of her.

 

Tony narrowed his eyes as he appraised her. “Can you answer a few questions for me?”

 

“Anything Tony.” It was a struggle for her to keep her eyes on him and not search for the safety of Ducky and Gibbs.

 

“Why did you feel the need to make a nametag stating that I was ‘In Training’ while Gibbs was on his Mexican Siesta? Was it necessary to keep telling me over and over that I wasn’t Gibbs? Why the hell do you fawn over my father every time he steps in the doors like he is the second coming?” Tony raised his hand stopping her from responding.

 

“Do you know anything about me? Anything about my childhood? In some fairness to you, probably not a great deal, I don’t talk about it much. I evade questions and only drop snippets hoping that is enough to keep anyone from digging too deeply.” His eyes began to blaze with anger.

 

“But you’re a smart girl; I bet you managed to put a few pieces together. Not everyone has a perfect or even normal childhood, Abby. Some have dark histories full of shit they don’t want to dredge up. Things that they want to keep as far as possible from their current lives. You know that he forgot me in a hotel room for several days, you know that he dumped me in boarding schools and sent me off to the Military academy and that he disowned me at twelve years old.”

 

“Every time my father drops in my life I fight to keep him away.” Tony took in the look of shock on Abby’s face. “I don’t have a warm and fuzzy relationship with my father. He comes when he wants or needs something. You had to have put a few more pieces of that puzzle together when he didn’t visit or contact me, his only child, when I was fighting for my life with the plague.”

 

“But you closed your eyes to my needs, MY wishes Abs. You chose not to see that I was uncomfortable and you just kept pushing the whole father-son relationship. You fawned over him and made me feel like shit. You apparently couldn’t or wouldn’t see how that made me feel. How HE made me feel and how YOU made me feel.”

 

“You kept taking his side. Do you know me at all? You threw the damned dinner that Ziva had invited everyone to except me in my face. Did that put me in my place? Or do you really see me as a brainless ass that can’t do his job, keep it in his pants, pushes away a wonderful father, and only thinks of himself?”

 

Do you have any idea how all of that weighs on me and makes me feel?” Tony’s eyes latched on Abby’s sending her all the pain and anger that she caused him, unwilling to hold it in any longer.

 

“Words hurt Abby, just as much as actions and especially when they are from people you care about. I can’t make all the wounds and words go away. They stay and dig in deeper, fester, and no matter how many times I try burying them, they surface and remind me of what you think of me.” Tony’s voice had quieted to a defeated whisper lost in the swirl of thoughts that he had spoken.

 

Jethro, who had stayed silent sitting next to him, placed his hand on his shoulder squeezing it in silent support knowing that though he wanted to jump in and end his pain, Tony needed to let it out and deal with it. Abby needed to see what she had done without a safety net to save her.

 

Tears streamed down Abby’s face as the full brunt of her actions were laid bare for her to witness; how she had failed as a friend and was blind to her own actions.

 

“I suck. I am a terrible friend. You’re right. I never once stopped to think about you when it came to your father. I never looked at the whole picture or once examined the way you changed when he was around or even brought up. I’m sorry.” Abby stopped and shook her head.

 

“But that is no where near enough; I should have seen how I was hurting you. I should have known the dinner party wasn’t what I thought. And I was horribly wrong to insinuate that you needed to be trained and that I was the judge and jury of when you were found to be capable.”

 

“You should put a warning label on me- ‘Can be harmful’-.” Her green eyes were wide as she tentatively touched Tony. “Promise me you’ll tell if I start to do something that crosses the line Tony. Gibbs slap me or something, but don’t keep it inside. I’m sure that I will do it again and I won’t mean to. I’ll be carried away and not think. Can I have a second chance Tony?”

 

Tony raised his eyes to hers looking for some reassurance that she was being open and honest and placating him. 

 

“A chance for what Abby?” He whispered.

 

“To be a true friend. I can’t take away what I have said, done or how I have acted. I truly wish I could. But I can, if you’ll let me show you how much you mean to me and treat you as you have always treated me.”

 

Tony took a deep breath. “Not going to be easy, I can’t and won’t be able to forget or forgive this anytime soon. I am not the same Tony…I am finding my way back, but there has been too much for too long. I don’t blame you for everything Abs. You can’t control what others do. But I am real hesitant to trust and believe right now.”

 

Abby nodded her head in understanding.

 

Tony took a moment, then looked at Abby and reached out his hand. “Hi. I’m Tony DiNozzo.”

 

Grasping his hand as if it were a life line she responded, “Abby Scuito”.

 

Not letting go of her hand Tony looked at her seriously. “There won’t be another chance Abs. This is it.”

 

Abby nodded. “I wouldn’t deserve another.”


	28. Black and Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks...tons of hugs and a great deal of love to my Beta Amy! She is jut too awesome for words!
> 
> This has been a story of a great deal of soul searching on my part as well. We all have degrees of betrayals in our lives and it's how we rise above that that begins to define who we are. I chose to take myself above the level of betrayal that was shown to me at great cost to myself and that damn near destroyed me. In the end it was still the best thing to do for myself and my own mental health. I have opened myself up to Tony's pain here and hope that I have done it justice and continue to do so.. Thank you for going along on this journey with me.

As soon as Abby and Ducky walked out the door, Jethro turned to the younger man with concern. “How are you feeling?”

 

Tony looked at Jethro, giving him a small smile and answered truthfully. “I didn’t realize how much I kept inside until I confronted Abby. How is it possible to feel both good and like shit about that?”

 

“You can feel both. Now you two can move past it and Abby is now aware just like Ducky and I. Nothing wrong with that.”

 

“Sucks though.” Tony sighed. “So when am I being sprung?”

 

Grinning at the younger man, he shook his head. “Tomorrow if everything is still looking ok. Ducky and I want to take you to that artist’s place and let you have at it.”

 

“Really looking forward to that. I need to do something physical. Too much pent up emotion. Talking helps but it doesn’t take the edge off.”

 

“You get a hold of your father?”

 

Tony’s green eyes narrowed as a veil of hurt and anger flashed across his face. “Left a message, don’t know if or when I’ll hear back.”

 

“Have something I think you’re ready to see…you feel up to watching something?”

 

“What?”

 

“A DVD that has everything from Ziva and McGee’s IA interrogations to the big gathering in MTAC. Some of it might surprise you.”

 

Tony lowered his gaze to the bed covers. “What? The level of hate that McGee and Ziva have towards me should be a surprise?”

 

“No…that won’t, but maybe a few other things on it will.” He took Tony’s chin gently in his hands and tilted it up so he could look into his eyes. “A lot of support, Tone. From people you may not have expected. With the bad comes the good and I promise there is more good there.”

 

“Can we be alone while I watch it?” Tony may have shared a great deal with Ducky, but he was stretched tight. His emotions were all over the place. If he were to have a breakdown, he wanted it with Jethro alone. He had no illusions it was going to be easy, but he knew that he needed to do it.

 

“Yep.” Jethro felt the worry rolling off the younger man and hastened to assure him. “Promise there are good things you need to see and hear. You already know what happened, that won’t be a surprise. Now you can hear it for yourself, get pissed, and deal with it so that it is no longer hanging over your head.”

 

“Hearing what those two think directly from them will be different than what I’ve conjured up. I won’t be able to make excuses for them.”

 

“Exactly. No excuses need to be made for their actions and certainly not by you. And there is more than just those two on here. Time for you to see what real friends and supporters you have backing you.”

 

Tony quietly nodded as his fingers played with the edge of the blanket. Jethro rose to get the rolling cart with the DVD and the laptop. He began to prepare himself as well; he hadn’t seen the IA interrogations or the showdown in MTAC. Emotions were going to be high for the both of them. He returned to the bed after plugging everything in and sat by Tony. They both took a deep breath and Jethro hit play.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Tony sat shell shocked by everything that he had seen on the DVD. He had no idea where to start to get his thoughts in order. He was definitely moved by the show of support and overwhelmed by the degree of it; the look in Balboa’s eyes as he interviewed the Islanders, the two IA agents that were tasked with getting the information out of Ziva and McGee. Right now, he couldn’t even remember their names, but he could remember the look of disgust in their eyes as the story unfolded.

 

Hearing what McGee and Ziva had said, what they really thought about him took his breath away. He hadn’t suspected that was how they truly saw him; never thought they thought so little of him that they would turn their coms off and leave him without back up. 

 

 

He was torn between wanting to rip off their heads and shit down their necks and shaking them until he could make them understand. Understand what, he didn’t know. Him? They would never truly see him for who he was. Their minds had been made up. It wouldn’t do any good to try to make them understand. He knew once he was ready and able to deal with them, he would move on and never speak or think of them again once it was over. He might have a long way to go in building his self-worth and to believe his staunched supporters, but he certainly knew those two were not worth his effort.

 

It didn’t stop the pain caused by their betrayal; but he would survive it and come out stronger. They had lost more than they would ever know.

 

What he heard from the scene in MTAC shocked him to his core. He never knew that Vance was capable of supporting him at that level or had ever seen his value. His words did a great deal to assuage the pain of the words spoken by the other two. 

 

Eli was on was huge surprise. Never would he have imagined that level of honest self awareness for his own flesh and blood. He clearly understood the meaning of watching a partner’s back and valued it. He could not hide the disdain for his daughter’s actions.

 

Harm was bringing out the big guns and Tony could definitely take solace in the fact that his friend was fighting for him and was his voice when he didn’t have one. He knew that he wouldn’t have to worry about court, that he was covered by the very best who would make sure that every “t” was crossed and “i” was dotted.

 

Ducky in his fierce quiet way was astounding and totally amazing. Tony always knew he had the heart of a lion, but to have it be directed on his behalf was humbling. In all their talks, Ducky always insured him that he believed in him and never once let him doubt himself.

 

But when Tony watched Jethro sitting in front of those two, he was amazed by the tightly controlled anger. It was beautiful; there was no other way to describe it. It was only a DVD of the event but he could feel Jethro’s presence permeate the room, filling it with his rage at what they had done. 

 

Tony had never seen anything like it. He had watched the man during interrogations and he was the master, but this was something else entirely. If he harbored any minute doubts about how the man sitting at his side felt, this had vanquished them completely. 

 

There was not one doubt about what Leroy Jethro Gibbs wanted to do to McGee and Ziva and Tony knew if circumstances allowed, he would have followed through. 

 

He turned to look at the older man and noticed his tightly clenched fists.

 

“Jethro?” He whispered.

 

He shook his head, clearing it and turned towards the younger man, his voice laced with barely controlled anger. “I had never seen the interrogations. Who are they? What happened to them? Did I miss everything?” His knuckles were white as his fists clenched tightly.

 

Tony shook his head. “I don’t believe that we missed anything. I think they hid it until the time was right for them to let it go. Like an infection that spreads. I believe that Ziva would have poisoned anyone who couldn’t stand up to her. Doesn’t excuse McGee, he has a brain but chose to fall in line with her and believe she knew the path to his dream.”

 

“No, I think we didn’t notice it because we don’t think that way. I don’t believe Vance saw it because regardless of his belief in technology being the best thing since sliced bread, he still believed in a team working together.”

 

“No one looked for anything because it was out of the realm of credibility.”

 

Jethro looked at Tony and raised one eyebrow. “Still feels like I missed it, I didn’t have your six. How can you forgive me?”

 

“Forgive what Jethro? Had you any inkling you would not have sent me with those two on this op. You would have dealt with the issues. You didn’t know, I didn’t know- no one knew. Is it a mistake that any of us will make again? No. Clearly, I will be very wary and closely examine and question everything. Do I like that? No, but I know that level of trust will take time to build with anyone should I decide to return to NCIS. Do I trust you? Implicitly.”

 

“We have all learned a hard lesson and there was probably no other way to learn this one. But we have and everyone who has been affected by it will be changed and for the record that is not a bad thing.”

 

“Too high of a cost Tony, not worth you losing your life.”

 

“Thank God it didn’t cost that much! I’m not dead yet and I got you so that seems like a damn fine upgrade.”

 

“Not funny Tone. I nearly lost you before we even had a chance. Over arrogance and an over blown sense of self worth.”

 

“Not making a joke, just stating fact. You have to make the most of what you have and not let your past affect your future. I am listening when you and Ducky talk, I’m learning, changing, and healing. Have a long way to go; really need to let out some anger. And I still have people that I want to confront. Easy? Hell no. Worth it? Yes.”

 

Jethro smiled and he began to unclench his fists as Tony’s words washed over him. He needed to listen too. He had stuff in his past and it was more than time to let go and not let it cloud his future. Everyone was learning from this. He turned to Tony, his blue eyes met the green of Tony’s, and he knew they would be ok. Every step that Tony took was a step they took together.


	29. Granite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my most awesome Beta Amy! She is amazing!

Tony saw a lot of his belongings as he looked around the bedroom and wondered how they had managed to get there. Not that he minded, it was comforting actually to see his things in Jethro’s house. It solidified their move forward together and showed how seamlessly they’d fit together. He’d already known he would be residing at Jethro’s when he was released- no way was anyone going to leave him on his own and frankly he had no desire to be alone. He and Jethro had decided to take things slow but neither really wanted to be apart from one another.

 

Today they would go to the Artist Studio. The idea of finally being able to have a physical release of his anger as well as of that which he was letting go sounded perfect. He was still a bit unsure of how breaking glass was supposed to do all that he needed it to do but since a punching bag and the gun range were not an option yet, he was more than willing to give it a try.

 

There was still a bit of trepidation as well, trying to reconcile the fact that he could get pissed and still care deeply was beginning to sink in, but he couldn’t just suddenly be accepting and change overnight. Some of the things inside were directed at people that were no longer living and he couldn’t deny the guilt he felt for even considering being angry with them.

 

He was fast approaching the point of no return with his father. He still hadn’t bothered to return his call as of yet and all that was doing was cementing the fact that he didn’t need to continue to hope for a relationship that was never going to be more than one-sided.

 

After everything that had happened and some deep soul searching, he knew that he would be all right. He had some truly great friends that were actually more like family, great support and an amazing partner. Tony chuckled inwardly, he’d say boyfriend but he was certain that Jethro would hear him thinking of calling him that and deliver a head slap.

 

As devastating and life changing as this whole clusterfuck had been for him, there was no way he could deny that a great deal of good came out of it as well. He was becoming stronger in ways he never imagined possible, found support in unexpected places and was no longer hiding what he felt for Jethro. 

 

Vance had stopped by shortly after they had arrived at home to talk to him. He had been surprised a bit by the offer but since he had seen the tape, not by his support. However, that did not preclude him from asking Vance some harsh questions.

 

***Flashback***

 

Tony was reclining on the couch looking at Jethro with a frown. “I’ve been released. Why do I have to lie down and rest? All I have been doing is resting.”

 

“Humor me. You’ve been released but you are nowhere near full capacity so let’s take it easy. Please.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“You’re getting up and going out later to that Artist Studio. And I promise that if you don’t feel too drained afterwards we’ll go to dinner.” 

 

“Jethro, I’m going to be throwing glassware not a sumo wrestler.”

 

They both turned in surprise at a knock on the door. Tony watched as Jethro answered the door, gun in hand.

 

“Leon?”

 

“Gibbs.” Leon smirked. “I wanted to come see Agent DiNozzo personally and talk to him about his future.” Leon held up his hand thwarting a rant from Gibbs. “I want him to know that there is no rush and that I understand if there needs to be control asserted on his part. I want him back and can only imagine the trust issues, but I get that.”

 

“Fine. Just be warned that he has been letting out some long held anger and he may have a bit for you as well.”

 

“Understood. Dr. Mallard beat you to that warning- he gave me the talk already.” Leon grimaced. “I am under no illusions that I don’t deserve a slice of his anger. I can think of several things that I wished I had handled differently.”

 

“You’re not alone in that.” Gibbs stated ruefully as he moved aside to let him enter. “He’s on the couch.”

 

Leon took a deep breath and stepped in the room headed for Tony. “Agent DiNozzo, it is good to see you looking so well.”

 

Tony looked up. “Thank you. Starting to feel a bit more human.”

 

“May I sit and have a word with you about your future with NCIS?”

 

Tony nodded. “Not sure about my future there honestly. Don’t know if I can do that again.”

 

“I understand. But I did want you to know that there is no rush or time limit. I want you back, but I am certain that you have more than just a few concerns.”

 

“You could say that.”

 

“If you do decide to return to NCIS I want you to know that you and Gibbs will be given the freedom to choose your own team members.”

 

Tony looked shocked.

 

Leon grinned. “Don’t look so surprised. There have to be some pretty hefty trust issues on your side as well as Gibbs’. It won’t be easy to put yourself in that situation again, but if you have control over who’s got your back that might help alleviate those concerns.”

 

Tony looked at the Director. “May I ask you a question?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Why do you want me to stay?”

 

“You’re a damned good agent.”

 

“Since when did you come up with that assessment? Always felt like I was low flying on your radar and that you didn’t much care for me.”

 

Leon took a deep breath. “I admit that I had some preconceptions that colored my view of you. And though I do believe that technology is crucial to law enforcement I have come to see that deductive reasoning, thinking outside the box and on your feet as well as puzzle solving is just as important. Those are skills you have and to a degree they can’t be taught, it’s the way a brain puts the facts together.”

 

“You always had all the skills I simply and wrongfully could not get past what you presented yourself as. No excuse. My fault totally and I know better. I have experienced various degrees of how I treated you myself.”

 

“And now you’ve had an epiphany?” Tony narrowed his eyes. “And I am supposed to lay my trust at your feet after Rivken? After Sheppard? After threatening my job several times and throwing me to the wolves without cause?”

 

“I hope that you and I can make our own fresh start. I had become complacent in my views and I am sorry. Too little and far too late for comfort. I was wrong, but I will correct my thought process and assure you I will never allow it to happen again. With your help, I won’t fall into that trap again. I’m human and fallible. Call me on it if I start to act that way towards you or any agent.”

 

“I can’t help think that I missed something that caused this…or that I overlooked something I shouldn’t have. I don’t want this to ever happen again. Period.”

 

Tony looked at Vance thoughtfully. “Don’t think that you missed anything that would have led you to believe that this was possible. This is all on them, their decisions, and their actions. I have had a lot of time to think about it all and am dealing with it.”

 

“And believe me at first I took all the blame. I did it, my jokes-” Tony held up his hand to silence Vance’s protests. “My frat boy image…you name it. Ducky and Jethro stopped that right away and now I not only believe it, but I accept it. Or at least most of the time…it’s a work in progress.” Tony gave a small smile. 

 

“As for what you’re offering…” He took a deep breath. “I’m still honestly not sure that I can put myself in that position again. I only trust one person to have my back, but your solution has merit.”

 

“Like I said no rush or time limit. This is a new beginning for all of us and SECNAV and I have your backs. You and Jethro are both out on paid leave- SECNAV’s orders. You both need to heal. Take the time to think it over and do what’s best for you. I don’t want to lose you and I hope that we can work through everything.”

 

“I will think about it…all of it. And thank you Director.”

 

“For what?”

 

“For listening, understanding, and not offering excuses or platitudes.”

 

“You’re welcome. But I was wrong, period.” Leon stood. “I need to get back, but I really wanted to see for myself how you were truly doing. Isn’t that a Gibbs rule, verify?”

 

“Yep. Like I said, I am getting there it’s just a work in progress.”

 

***End Flashback***

 

It felt good not to have to rush into a decision and to clear the air with the Director. Not all hope was lost.

 

Jethro went upstairs to see if Tony was ready and spotted him deep in thought.

 

“What’s got you thinking so hard?”

 

“Vance, dad…stuff…”

 

“Quite a bit then.”

 

“Yes and no. What did you think of Vance’s offer?

 

“Based on what you told me, we have plenty of time to think about it. It sounds like it could be a great solution if you did decide to come back.”

 

“True.” Tony stood smiling. “Ready to go break some glass?”

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Tony looked at the mounds of plates, mugs, panes of glass in every imaginable color neatly placed on endless shelves. Carlos, the artist and owner had given them only two instructions. One- yell, scream anything that came up as hard and loud as he needed and two- simply keep like colors together. He showed them where he kept the rubber totes and the broom and dust pan. Any friend of Abby’s was a friend of his was all he said as he smiled and exited the building.

 

Tony picked up a plate as Gibbs stood far off behind him silently offering his support. He was puzzled as to how throwing this plate and watching it break was supposed to help him release things he had kept inside. Wall, plate, and throwing seemed so far from what he needed, but Abby and Ducky had gone to all the trouble to find this outlet, he decided to give it a try. Putting on his safety glasses, he drew back his arm and let the plate fly watching it as it hit the wall and shattered.

 

Picking up another, he stared at it for a moment imagining it as the manifestation of his anger, picturing Danny, Wendy, Kate, Jenny and his mom, people who were no longer alive or in close contact with him. He was angry with them for different reasons; Danny for being dirty and his betrayal of all that he stood for, Kate for dying for starters, Wendy for waiting at the last minute to decide she wasn’t ready, Jenny for not having his back when he needed it and his mom...there was a list of feelings associated with her. Both neglect and smothering depending on her mood, parading him around like a doll to play dress up with and for dying, leaving him with his father. At the moment he didn’t care that his anger was in some part irrational, he knew that, but it was felt just the same. 

 

Feeling it build he threw the plate against the wall with greater force than before. He grabbed another and another each hitting the wall with more force than the one before. He didn’t realize that he was shouting as each plate left his hand.

 

“Damn you Kate…for dying. We needed you….we loved you….you weren’t supposed to die. Then we got Ziva…she is nothing like you.” Plates smashed as the words flowed. “She’s a cold bitch.”

 

“Danny you fucking asshole…you sold yourself to the devil. You knew how I felt about that. Then you go and die…calling me to clear the air and apologize. Why wait so fucking long…wasted time….wasted lives.”

 

Tears flowed down his cheeks as everything he had once held locked inside rose to the surface demanding to be let out. “Wendy, you said yes and planned a damned wedding damn it. You left me. You said you needed and wanted more… I guess giving you my heart wasn’t good enough. I fucking loved you!”

 

“Jenny where the fuck were you? I tried to hold Jeanne at arms length…I didn’t want to hurt her. But you just kept pushing me toward her. “She must know something” was all you ever said. I knew better, but I trusted you…what a mistake. There was no other way for that mission to end…but people, innocent people were hurt and I caused that. Fuck you Jenny.”

 

Tony’s breathing was ragged as his pent up emotions poured out of him. So lost in his rage, he never noticed as Jethro replenished the pile of glassware. 

 

“Mom…you wouldn’t let me be a normal kid. I was not some damned doll for you to play with… the movies that we shared were not enough…I needed more…I needed a mom to tuck me in…tell me stories. Then you died and left me with him. He didn’t give a rat’s ass about me. Left me in a hotel – just forgot about me.”

 

“Fuck. You. All”. Tony breathed heavily. “Ziva and Tim you fucked up. You self-centered God damned pricks. I can’t wait to see you both. I’m not taking shit from anybody. I didn’t deserve this. NO MORE! I’M DONE. I’m fucking worth more.” His strength started to abate as he came down, emotionally spent, but he felt surprisingly better than he imagined. Finding the wall he slid down to the floor wiping the tears from his eyes as Jethro joined him, their shoulders making contact. 

 

“I didn’t know I had all that in me.” Tony whispered.

 

“You held it in for a long time, Tony. Had to come out sometime. It needed to come out. How do you feel?”

 

“Exhausted, lighter, less angry, and stronger. I know this isn’t the end; there is more, but I am learning that I can let it out one way or another. It feels good but it won’t be easy. I’ve spent a lot of years hiding what I feel, afraid to feel how I feel, if that makes sense. But this is good and I am trying.” Tony turned towards Jethro.

 

“Can you handle the new Tony?”

 

Jethro grinned. “Yep. Even if you’re pissed at me. I’ll screw up- I’m human, you’ll screw up too. And then we’ll work it out. I’ll learn to talk more as you learn not to bottle it up inside and pretend everything is fine - and take blame for it all.”

 

“Sounds shockingly normal.”

 

“With you I am sure there will be a surprise or two and normal sounds pretty damn good. Ready to clean up and go home?”

 

“Yes- I have had enough for one day. Afraid going out to dinner isn’t gonna happen tonight Jethro, but you knew that didn’t you?”

 

“Knew this wouldn’t be easy and it would probably wear you down, but you needed it.” Jethro held out his hand.

 

“Thanks Jet, for everything.”

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Jethro was sitting back on the couch with Tony rested against him between his legs as they silently watched a movie. Over all the day had been very good for Tony and he seemed more at ease. Nevertheless, Jethro was glad that they were having a quiet evening just enjoying one another’s company. They both needed that.

 

Tony’s phone rang and he grabbed it looking at the caller ID. He still hadn’t had a chance to set ring tones with the new phone. He looked up at Jethro and sighed.

 

“It’s my father.”


	30. Onyx

After his lawyer left, Tim felt lost and hopeless. It was his own fault for asking for the truth without a sugar coating and that was exactly what he received. His lawyer warned him that there was very little they could do to argue with any sort of success. His words and actions were all caught on tape and there would be no way around that. The only thing that he managed to do was get the accomplice and facilitation charges dropped; however, that still left quite a list that included evidence tampering, perjury, gross negligence, and dereliction of duty. Prison time was inevitable since Harm was out for blood; no deals were even offered.

 

Tim lay down on his cot, the phrase 10 – 15 years rolled around in his brain. That was what his lawyer believed his prison sentence could be. He was still in shock how a joke had turned into this nightmare. He was desperate to talk to someone… for anyone to help him wrap his head around everything that had happened. Someone to be on his side and understand that he had never intended for any of this to happen and that just wasn’t happening.

 

No one ever came to visit; letters of encouragement and hope were nonexistent no matter how many times he had reached out. He had lost count of how many calls, messages, and letters he had sent out. He was beginning to have a clear understanding of the look on Fornell’s face every time he gave permission for Tim to attempt to initiate contact. The only thing that he had received for his efforts were his letters returned unopened. He was truly on his own.

 

Some people he could begrudgingly understand, his father, the Admiral for one. He and his father had never truly understood one another. They never seemed to be able to speak the same language or find any sort of common ground and now there was an even larger gulf between them. He would never be able to explain a joke on a co-worker especially when that resulted in life threatening injuries let alone the fact that he had left his partner without back up. It didn’t matter that he had never intended for Tony to be injured and that he and Ziva had only wanted the incessant talking to stop.

 

But the reality was for the simple turning of a switch he had been fired, lost all friends and family and jail time was imminent. This was so far beyond what he envisioned for his life and now every dream he had held was gone with no way of getting any of it back. Even his publisher had dropped him.

 

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Fornell announced his presence. “McGee, I have something for you.”

 

Raising his head, he saw a white envelope in Fornell’s hand. He couldn’t help the feeling of hope that washed over him at the thought of outside contact. Someone had written him. This had to be a turning point unless…and he hated to burst his own bubble, it was one of his being returned.

 

“What is it? Another letter returned unopened?” His voice cracked only slightly.

 

“No, not this time. Seems someone actually responded. Do you want it or not?”

 

Tim stood quickly taking the two steps that put him in front of Fornell feeling both excitement and trepidation as he took it from the older man’s fingers his hands shaking slightly. Fornell turned and walked away leaving Tim alone. Tim sat back on his cot looking over the envelope for any sign of whom it might have written him. Finding no writing on the outside only let him know that it was hand delivered to Fornell. Maybe it was from Tony wanting to talk to him…the man could never hold a grudge and if he opened that door, Tim was more than happy to walk through it. The older man could more than pave the way to making this whole mess go away and change the direction where it was headed. Certainly, he of all people would understand that it was a joke and they had meant no harm.

 

Maybe it was from his mom or Sarah. They were his family, his blood and they had to come around to talking to him and seeing him. He couldn’t deny how much their silence hurt, he had never been left alone, a drift without anyone before.

 

Shaking his head, he decided to stop speculating and open the letter. Pulling out the folded paper, he gently unfolded it, recognizing Abby’s flowing script. He suddenly felt hopeful and allowed a smile to grace his face.

 

Abby and he had history and she had the biggest heart of anyone he had ever met. She could never turn her back on her friends and this was a start. He leaned back against the wall and began to read, and then his world ended.

 

Tim sat there in shock having read it over and over again, the words acted like sharp knives in his heart. She wanted nothing to do with him, didn’t want to hear what he had to say or let him explain. She was shutting him out and pushing him away with no hope of ever reconciling. She had chosen Tony over him.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Ziva continued to play everything repeatedly in her head from the moment she was forced to be a prisoner. She needed to find where it went wrong, but nothing made sense. Tony was more than she realized, her father turned his back on her and Gibbs abandoned her after she saved his life. It shouldn’t matter the reasons why she saved him; that was of no consequence.

 

It was certainly all Tony’s fault. He had tricked her into believing that he was nobody all the while going behind her back. She did not like being made a fool of and he had done that. She had fallen for his frat boy persona and planned on leaving him by the wayside as she integrated herself with Gibbs. He had seemed that he had nothing to offer her in her quest to move ahead and make a name for herself and Mossad. Now she needed to devise a plan that would get her back into her father’s good graces. She was going to need him to move forward and make it home.

 

There was nothing left for her here; she had been fired and had no real status. She had nothing worthwhile keeping her in the States. Her father might not be on her side right now, but she was still his child and all that he had. Time would heal all wounds and he would eventually be overcome with sentimentality and welcome her back into the fold with open arms.

 

Then she would find a way to get back at Tony for his deception and her humiliation, not to mention the extraction from her own life. He needed to pay dearly for that.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Jethro watched as Tony looked at his phone. “You don’t have to answer it. You can contact him on your own terms when you’re ready.”

 

Tony nodded placing his phone down on the table having decided that now was not the time for the conversation that he wanted to have. He had already released a great deal and frankly wasn’t up to the possible shit his father would dish out. “And right now I don’t want to talk to him. What I do want is to relax just as we were.”

 

Smiling Jethro pulled Tony down to him wrapping his arms gently around the younger man. “Sounds good to me.” He leaned down, a question on his lips for Tony when at the same moment, Tony turned his head, and they found their lips a hairsbreadth apart.

 

Their eyes locked on one another with everything they were feeling clearly shining through. They moved as if in slow motion towards each other, drawn together, and their lips met in their first kiss. Its simplicity deceptive as every feeling they had kept from one another surfaced and was shared. Their love, desire, need, and endless devotion clearly stated. There was no doubt of their intentions and a measure of relief for having finally taken that first step. Though neither wanted the kiss to end neither were they ready for what came next. Slowly they separated their eyes once again locked on one another.

 

Gibbs sighed. “Finally. I have wanted to do that for years.”

 

“And yet we stopped.” Tony teased smiling, already knowing that even for him that was necessary.

 

Gibbs raised an eyebrow as he smiled. “You already know why.”

 

Tony’s smile never wavered, comfortable in the fact that they had finally started what had been simmering below the surface for years and that they could make it everything that they had ever wanted. “I do. This is something that we both have wanted for a very long time and neither of us wants to do anything to screw that up. And though I hate to admit it…slow is the way to go.” Looking in the older man’s blue eyes wanting to make sure that what he was trying to say was being understood. This was important and failure was not something he even wanted to contemplate.

 

Tony took a deep breath and continued. “This is something that I want to work, to flourish and grow. Slow, open, and honest is what I need and what I will give you. Can you give me that as well?”

 

There was no hesitation in his answer as Jethro’s voice rang clear. “Yes. This is something that I have thought about since all this happened. What I wanted, needed, and changes that I needed to make to have that. I don’t expect it to be an easy walk in the park with no issues. We both have had our own issues in our lives. You keep saying that you’re a work in progress…well so am I where you’re concerned. This is not a relationship I want to fall by the wayside. So slow and open it is.”

 

Smiling the brilliant DiNozzo smile Tony felt everything fall into place. This was where he needed and wanted to be and together they could make it work because it was what they both wanted. Sighing his smile changed to a bit shy as he looked through his lashes. “We can do that again and often though…right?”

 

Chuckling his blue eyes alight with love. “Absolutely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks, Kudos and a great deal of love to my Beta Amy! She makes this all possible!


	31. Magma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my most awesome and amazing Beta! She is the best and I can't thank her enough!

Tony sat waiting for his father to arrive, surprised by how calm he felt. He had a feeling part of it was due to Jethro and his firm belief that he could do it. One thing was for certain was that he needed to do this; it had been years in the making.

 

He had no real illusions that this was going to solve everything between him and his father. That would require his father owning up to his actions and apologizing, which was highly unlikely. There was no reason for him to change as there was no financial gain to be had. And as much as he may wish his father would see that his relationship with his son was worth more than any financial gain, he simply had no reason to believe it was in the cards.

 

For the first time he realized that though he may want a relationship, he did not require it. He was past that need in part simply because he had never had one but also because he had a group of friends that filled the need of family.

 

Standing to look out the window after noting the time, Tony shook his head and sighed as strong arms wrapped around him. “He’s late.”

 

“True and he may not show, but you knew that. Doesn’t change anything though, you can still give him a piece of your mind when he does show up.”

 

Tony nodded slowly. “True…I just really wanted to put this behind me too. I feel like all I have been doing since this all went down is talking…endless talking and dredging up shit.” Tony help up his hand. “It was a necessary evil and needed to be done and trust me I am feeling stronger than I have in years. But I also want to get back to living and not feel like there is a receiving line of people for me to rake over the coals.”

 

“I want to think about the future…our future. Figure out whether or not I can return in any capacity to NCIS or if I need to take a different path. I want this done so the last people I need to see are ZIva and McGee. And before you worry, I have given that a great deal of thought. I need to see them; nothing that either of them can say will affect me. I am ready for the venom that I am sure Ziva will throw my way.”

 

“Ready to show her that she’s done with any sort of power to move me and as for Tim…even if he tries to play on the fact that he knew better and was ‘led astray’ I don’t care, he made his choice. Decisions were made and the consequences will follow.”

 

“When I am done with them I want to leave this behind me and move forward. Maybe we could take some time off and do a bit of sailing as we ponder the idea of NCIS…just the two of us to explore what we have found.”

 

“Then that is what we’ll do Tony. As I have said before, whatever you decide. Sailing away for a while is just what we need. This has been hard on all of us and time for you and I to get away sounds perfect.”

 

“Thanks Jet.” Tony smiled gently basking in the love, support and acceptance that was so clearly visible. He had to wonder how he had never seen it before, but at the same time, he had kept his own feelings locked down tight as well. In the end, it was there when they were ready and now they had a bright future ahead of them.

 

Enjoying the moment their lips met was short lived, disturbed by the sound of someone knocking on the front door.

 

“The prodigal father has arrived.” Jethro reluctantly pulled away. “Where do you want me Tony?”

 

Tony smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Now is not the time for that question Jethro. My father is here.”

 

Jethro sent a half heated glare his way before clarifying his question, “Do you want me to stay or go down into the basement?”

 

“Stay.” Tony took a deep breath. “I am ready to do this, but...”

 

Jethro placed a gentle kiss upon his lips before he turned to answer the door. “You’re stronger than you realize. I’ll be right there with you.”

 

Tony nodded as he sat back down on the couch. He was feeling a great deal stronger, but he knew that talking with his father would deplete what energy he had and rather than face-planting on the floor, he opted to be prepared. This had to possibility to turn ugly really quickly.

 

“Junior, sorry I’m late. Met a contact and had the opportunity to conduct-“

 

“Business…not surprised dad.” Tony shook his head.

 

“You would know the importance of a business contact if you had chosen to follow in my footsteps. I tried calling you yesterday. I needed to borrow that lovely exotic woman Ziva. Why you haven’t made a move on her I will never understand. And by the way, why are you at Agent Gibbs house?”

 

Tony stared at his father with utter disbelief. 

 

“For one, I chose a job that I love and has meaning to me. I am a damn good investigator and I like putting away bad guys, making people feel safe and helping them find closure and maybe some peace. I never had a desire to follow in your footsteps.”

 

“Damn shame Junior. With your good looks you would have a bevy of woman ready to lend a hand in any venture that you chose.” Looking at his son appraisingly, “Maybe I could show you…set up some meetings with the beautiful and elite.”

 

“No.” Tony took a deep breath. “Did you get a call a few weeks ago about my being injured? What about years ago, when I had the plague? Where were you then? I know for a fact that you were contacted and as usual I was not as important as whatever or whoever you were doing.”

 

“How many step-mothers have I had? You forgot me in a hotel room in Hawaii for fucks sake. I was just a child…alone. Do you have any idea what could have happened? Did you ever ask me what did happen? NO…you DID NOT. You waltzed in and proceeded to charm everyone and pay them off with my new step-mommy’s money and yell at me for running up a room service bill.”

 

“Then you decided to ship me off to boarding school so that I wouldn’t be in the way. How could I possibly be in the way? You never noticed I was there before! Oh wait…yes you did, if you felt the need to assert your paternal need to parent the wayward son. Does the Halloween space suit costume ring any bells?”

 

“I was an inconvenience to you, unless you needed a trick pony to perform. Or you needed money or a connection, and then by all means you wanted to see me. The idea of Ziva coming from a wealthy and powerful family tickles your fancy. So you will be more than happy to come and visit me…to use me again.”

 

“Now Junior, you are blowing everything out of proportion. And should you be airing family business in front of your Boss?” Senior’s voice carried a threatening edge that had always put his son in his place.

 

“Not this time dad”, Tony sneered. “You have not heard a thing I just said; you are ready again to disregard it as unimportant. Not going to happen. And just so you know, Miss David, whom you are so enamored with is in jail facing charges. She left me alone…without back up and I was nearly killed. So I don’t believe she will be able to help you.”

 

Senior narrowed his eyes. “Can’t you help her? There has to have been a mistake. You must have misunderstood her actions. You look fine to me, how bad could it have been?” He looked over at Gibbs. “Surely you can do something to help her?”

 

Tony turned towards his father, his green eyes cold and filled with anger. “Not his decision dad. Seems very clear to me that I am not even on your radar and that is ok. I am done. Originally maybe I hoped that we could manage to work out our differences and find a way to have some sort of relationship, but now I see clearly that that is not going to happen.”

 

“And as much as that actually hurts and I am loathing admitting that, it is a relief. There is no more pretending or hope left for you. I have never mattered at all, have I? When my mother died, your love for her and I went with her.”

 

“You have no idea what you are saying. Of course I love you, you’re my son Junior.” His voice was filled with indignation.

 

“No, the mere fact that you always call me Junior says a great deal more than you realize. I am only an extension of your name, nothing more. Your concern a moment ago was only for Ziva, a woman that turned her back on me without any concern for my wellbeing, not even a word or concern for the fact that I was left for dead.”

 

Senior snorted. “You have always been prone to exaggerations Junior.” He shook his head sadly. “Stories about how you were left alone, housekeepers who were mean and I see no reason to believe this is any different.”

 

Jethro had tried stay back and let Tony handle the situation, but enough was enough. “Perhaps if you had actually cared enough to learn the facts, you would know he is telling the truth. Ziva will be going to prison and I have no intention to stop that from happening. As far as I am concerned, you are not welcome in our home any longer. Tony has given you every opportunity to change and build a relationship with you. I have personally contacted you many times when his life was hanging in the balance and received no response. I don’t give a flying fuck what business deal you were involved in; you children come first…always.”

 

Tony smiled softly at Jethro. “Thanks Jet.”

 

“So what…now you live here? With your Boss? Can’t manage it alone, Junior?”

 

Tony took a deep breath. “Have done that for years, but now, I don’t need to. He isn’t my Boss in our house. He’s my partner…better half…whatever you want to call it. Suffice it to say he is the most important person in my life.”

 

“I thought you would have outgrown this nonsense Junior. We dealt with this behavior when I caught you kissing Kyle during your time home from school.” 

 

“You thought a lot of things. I think Jethro said it best already. Time for you to go. I no longer feel like rehashing the same argument over and over. I am done.” Tony stood and walked towards the door to open it.

 

Senior looked between the two men seeing that he had no allies; there was nothing to be done. Standing up and straightening his suit, he tutted. “I can see that no one is going to listen to what I have to say, perhaps it is better if I go.”

 

“Would listen if you said anything meaningful and thoughtful and looked at the whole picture. Since that is not going to happen, I am letting go.”

 

“But I am your father.” Senior looked at his son, seeing a strength that he had never seen before. He wondered when he had grown a spine and if there was a way to get rid of it.

 

“Yes, but you have never been my dad; we don’t have that type of relationship. And I don’t need that anymore. I have a great wealth of friends who are far more like family than you have ever been. They were there with me when I had the plague and fought for every breath. Supported me when my old partner was found to be dirty and when I have faltered, managed to give me encouragement even when I didn’t think I needed it. It’s not always been perfect, but in the end they have been there and that is all I’ve needed or will need.”

 

Senior walked out his head held high. “Guess this is it Junior.”

 

“Been disowned since I was twelve, this is simply cementing that fact. Bye Father.” Tony shut the door not needing to hear anything else. As the lock clicked, he fell back against the door, spent. He knew that that was the end and every good reason that it needed to happen, but it was still his father.

 

“I feel like shit and I feel relieved all at the same time.” Tony looked at Jethro, his eyes showed the pain of a lost dream. 

 

“It is what it is Tony. It is always possible someday he will come around and talk to you for the right reasons. But for right now, you did what was best for you. You are not responsible for his failure as a father. That is all on him. You turned out pretty damn good and that is definitely all you.”

 

Tony nodded knowing that Jethro was right. “No time limit right?”

 

“No time limit. You’ll get there.”


	32. Eruption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love my Beta Amy! I can't thank her enough...ever!

Jethro watched Tony who was finally at rest in his sleep. Dealing with his father had been hell; there was no way around it. He was hard pressed not to pull out his gun and shoot the man for the indifference that he showed his son. He had been given a chance to make things right and he had thrown it away.

 

No, he had done more than that, he had effectively shown Tony what he had always known and done his best to deny - his father really didn’t give a damn. The man had gall to go on and on about how they needed to save Ziva. Ziva, for fuck’s sake, was the reason Tony had to fight for his life.

 

Stroking Tony’s hair gently away from his face, his thoughts turned to how proud he was of the younger man. As hard and devastating as it was to let go of the dream that his father would one day care about him, he did it and with strength which he had always known Tony had.

 

He hadn’t lied to Tony when he told him that he should be proud of how he turned out, after all that was all Tony. Still, if he could have done something to have changed today’s inevitable outcome, he sure as hell would have.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Tony woke up and looked at Jethro. His thoughts centered on how much he had gained through this ordeal. No words could describe how much he loved, appreciated, and needed the man beside him. Accepting that had been quite an internal battle. Suddenly everything that he had never dared to dream was his and it was real. 

 

The man was his rock and last night was no exception. It hurt like hell, but he knew he would be ok without his father; he had been for years if he were to be honest. He wanted to end the rest today. He needed to see Tim and Ziva and put it all behind and move forward. There were no illusions that there still wouldn’t be a freak out or two, but he knew that he would come out the other side and see those blue eyes full of love, support and confidence in him and that was everything.

 

It was time and there was nothing either of them could say or do that would affect him. He had come a long way since he woke up in the hospital – nothing could take away what he had gained in the healing process. 

 

He was ready and God help anyone who stood in his way.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Harm rubbed his temples as he looked at Fornell. “He said he’s ready and wants to do this now. No if…ands…or buts.”

 

Cocking his head, Fornell’s eyes narrowed as he stared at Harm. “You disagree?”

 

“No. Honestly he sounded ready and resolved to end this.” He chuckled. “Call me a bit over protective after all this, but I simply don’t want those two assholes to be near him.” Holding up his hand to forestall Fornell, “Yes, I know he’s all grown up and can take care of himself, but they very nearly cost him his life. So maybe I am the one who isn’t ready for this.”

 

“I get it. I am not crazy about this, but Jethro insisted that he was ready and was adamant that it happen now. I think Tony has reached the end of his rope in terms of this hanging over his head. You are aware that he talked to his sperm donor yesterday?”

 

Harm nodded as his fist clenched at his side remembering the conversation that he had with Tony and Jethro the night before. “On the one hand I am thrilled that he told the son of a bitch he was done playing the affection game, but I am pissed as hell that the man didn’t give a rat’s ass. He needs to be strung up by his balls for every ounce of pain he caused Tony.”

 

“Can’t disagree with you there. Look at it this way, Tony made it clear that he was done and even if he feels like shit about that right now, in the long run he is gonna feel a hell of a lot better. But is he ready for this? I am rather fond of the kid and I don’t want to see him take a step back.”

 

Harm raised his eyebrow in disbelief at that statement.

 

Fornell grinned at the man. “What? It’s just a well kept secret.”

 

Rolling his eyes at Fornell’s response Harm sighed. “I trust Tony and I know that Jethro is not going to let him do anything that puts him at risk, but he also wants Tony to have control over this. If he says he’s ready, we go with that, he has earned whatever the hell he wants or needs.”

 

“You got that right. When are they due?”

 

“Five minutes if Jethro is driving. Everything in place?”

 

Fornell gestured to the closed doors on the left and right. “The animals have been placed in their respective cages. They have no idea who is coming and have been handcuffed, much to their annoyance.” He smirked as he continued, “Miss David continues to go on and on about the injustice of it all and when this is over, how we shall all pay. McGee has been silent and reserved since he received the letter from Abby. How they will react when they see Tony is anyone’s guess.” 

 

“I think they are in for a big surprise.”

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Tony opened the door and walked inside the room not surprised when he heard the intake of air. Pulling out the chair, he sat down and looked across the table, expecting the icy glare he received.

 

“Surprised? Or disappointed that it’s me?” cocking an eyebrow at Ziva.

 

“Come to gloat? Is that why I am handcuffed? Were they afraid that you couldn’t handle me? Show them that you are as weak as I have always known?” She sneered. “This will end and I shall make it my new mission to make you pay…all of you.”

 

“What? Am I supposed to be shaking in my shoes?” Pretending to shudder he continued. “Oh no, the Mossad assassin is after me.” 

 

“DO NOT MOCK ME!”

 

“Stop. Don’t even start with the enraged assassin shit because frankly, I don’t give a damn. You will not be getting out of prison anytime soon. Surely your lawyer has informed you of that, so there will be no revenge.” Tony leaned into her space his eyes narrowed dangerously. “If you do manage to find your way out I would think twice before you come near me, my friends, or anyone you think will serve your need for revenge.”

 

Ziva snickered. “Why? You think you can stop me? That you are in any way a match for me?”

 

“You forget Miss High and Mighty David, that I indeed took out a Mossad officer already, have bested your own father in interrogation and was handpicked- and kept- by the most decorated agent in the history of NCIS. You have nothing on me.”

 

“Michael was drunk and in no shape to defend against your attack. You took advantage of that.”

 

“No, Ziva…I took advantage of nothing. He chose to fight and lost. He, just like you, underestimated me and it cost him his life.”

 

“Are you threatening me?” She shook her head. “You do not scare me.”

 

Tony’s hand hit the table with enough force that it moved. “You just don’t get it. Trust me if I wanted to scare you I sure as shit would. You know nothing about me or what I am capable of.” Raising his hand to stop her from speaking, “No, you’ve had your say, now it’s my turn.”

 

“You think you know everything about me - that your little dossier you did told you the whole story about me, but even when presented with facts you still chose to close your eyes. You’re an arrogant, blind, and self-centered bitch. Everything is not about you.”

 

Ziva looked at the man in front of her in shock.

 

“What? Can’t handle the truth? From the beginning you have had your sights set on putting me in my place. When the whole thing with Rivken happened you kept going on and on about jealousy.” Tony stood and walked over to stand behind her as he whispered in her ear. “I have news for you sweetheart, you are not my type.”

 

“Never had an interest in you at all. Have I flirted? Absolutely, that is simply part of who I am. But never have I considered being with you. You deluded yourself into that because you simply could not understand that I was figuring out that Rivken was more than he seemed, and you, Missy, were a part of that.”

 

“You were playing both sides and had been since Jenny brought you here. You were kept on because Vance has a friendship with your father, but in no way because of your superior skills.” Walking around to face her again, “You have no investigative skills; you can’t think outside of the box and are unable to read people. All crucial skills needed.”

 

“You played the daughter card with Gibbs and wrongly assumed that he would protect you no matter what, all because you saved his life. Thank you for that by the way.” Tony began pacing back and forth behind her out her line of sight setting her on edge.

 

“And despite all your Mossad training you still fail to see that trust, working as a team and having your partner’s back makes the difference between life and death. You still only have the mind set of ‘me, me, me’ and that gets people killed. Who knows, maybe you were hoping for that or this was an unexpected by product of turning the knob, either way it is done and I am still here and alive.”

 

She looked at Tony with a puzzled look. “In all the time you have been here you have not asked me why or if I regretted that choice. Why? I would have demanded an answer or retribution for my pain.”

 

Tony grinned. “Because I don’t give a flying fuck about your reasons or regrets if you have them. As for retribution, you will be going to prison and I can guarantee that your attitude won’t last there. You will no longer be a blip on my radar.”

 

Tony began walking to the door. “I will be living my life freely; as I choose and you…well you will have a very regimented life. Far more restrained than the one you left in Israel.”

 

As the door closed behind Tony, Ziva sat in silence. She had underestimated the man and he had proven himself far more cunning than she had ever imagined. She was suddenly aware that he was right…she had just sent herself to prison.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Tony leaned against the door and three people rushed up to him. “I’m fine. This is relief.” He looked pointedly at Jethro. “Felt good to let that go.”

 

“We heard.” Harm grinned. “Couldn’t have said it better myself. You realize that you called her ‘an arrogant, blind, and self-centered bitch’?”

 

Tony shrugged. “Came out naturally and she is one.”

 

“You did good kid.” Fornell squeezed the younger man’s shoulder.

 

“Damn straight Tony. You ready for thing two?”

 

Fornell and Harm looked like Jethro had lost his mind. “Thing two?” Harm shook his head.

 

“Hey, blame Tony. He didn’t want to refer to them by their names at one point, the names stuck. I liked ‘em.” He sent Tony a wink and a smirk.

 

Fornell cocked his head as he thought about that. “He’s right…I like it. Think that will fly in court?”

 

Harm shook his head. “Unfortunately no.”

 

Tony moved off the door. “Let’s finish this. I’m ready to leave this behind me.” Rolling his neck, he walked to the second door. He stopped and turned an incandescent smile on Jethro. “Can we have cowboy steaks tonight?”

 

“Absolutely.” His own smile matching the younger man’s as he watched Tony disappear behind the door.

 

Harm looked at Jethro with concern. “That one question seems to have excited you, is he eating alright?”

 

“Eating …yes, but this is the first time he has wanted something…asked for it even.”

 

Fornell nodded. “I get it. His father, thing one and two have been weighing on him…now they will be done.”

 

Harm turned to Jethro. “Has he given any thoughts to his future and what he wants to do?”

 

“He’s thinking about it. We’re gonna take a few weeks and go sailing, away from everything. It will give him the space to make up his mind. I’ll support him whatever the decision.” 

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Tim looked surprised to see Tony. Figured it was another visit from his lawyer. Surely he could use this moment to plead his case, ask for forgiveness or help in talking to everyone who had let him sit here alone.

 

“Tony, good to see you.”

 

“Really? I find that a bit hard to believe. You might save yourself some time and know that I saw the tapes of your interrogation. Not much left to say after that.”

 

Tim gulped as he struggled to find some magic words that would get him out of this. “Ziva-“

 

Tony slammed his hands down on the table. “Ziva what? Held a gun to your head and made you turn off the sound? Or better yet, she threatened you with a paper clip to disable the coms after it was all said and done. Did she threaten to cut off your balls if you manned up and admitted what you did?”

 

Narrowing his eyes at the man before him, “Because I didn’t hear any of that on the recording. That’s because you didn’t.”

 

“But…”

 

“Who had your back when you shot that cop? Who made sure you were ok and didn’t second guess yourself to death?”

 

Tim lowered his head as he answered, the shame clearly showing. “You did. But nothing was supposed to happen. We just wanted quiet…nothing was supposed to happen…”

 

“That is the reason for back up Tim, to be there when the unexpected happens. The danger for a cop or any officer of the law is the unexpected and that is why we have back up. You both chose to leave me alone out there in the “safe” neighborhood; the very same neighborhood that was suspected of housing a home grown terrorist group by the way.” Tony’s voice was growing in volume as his anger came out full force.

 

“How in the hell does that fit in the definition of quiet and safe? You both knew better and made your choice. You could have and should have stood up for what you believed. You could have opened your mouth when confronted with the facts. But you didn’t.”

 

“And now you sit here in front of me still trying to blame someone else. Did you ever think that is the main reason no one comes to visit you? That if you had at least owned up to your mistake, your family, and friends might have contacted you. But you didn’t.”

 

“Feels like fucking shit when people turn their back on you doesn’t it?” Tony stood up and headed for the door…he was done.


	33. Ebb and Flow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love my Beta Amy more than you could imagine! I am so thankful to her for many things!

Tony sat at the bow of the boat his shoulders relaxed and his eyes bright as he looked out at the water. He felt at peace for the first time since everything happened. It had only been a few days, but being away from everything was just what he needed. The water, quiet and Jethro had been all that he needed to come full circle.

 

Through his ordeal, he had managed to deal with his personal demons and find a strength he didn’t know that he had. The minute that he closed the door on McGee, the weight that he had been carrying around was gone. Now all he needed to do was figure out what was next.

 

Vance had given him the freedom that he needed to make the decision that was best for him. The only thing Jethro had insisted upon was that if he decided that NCIS was where he wanted to be there would be no more hiding who he was. 

 

They had learned from that mistake the hard way. It certainly was not an excuse for the behavior of Tim or Ziva, they were supposed to be investigators after all, but he was never going to play that role again. There would still be some practical jokes and definite movie references, he was still Tony, and that was a part of who he was. But no more deflecting or hiding the skills he had.

 

He was leaning towards returning to NCIS and even gave a thought to who might be recruited for their team. Trust was still going to be something that was hard earned however, but he had every confidence with Jethro’s support he would get there. He didn’t want to leave a job that he loved over this. He didn’t want McGee or Ziva to win.

 

He had also found just how many friends and supporters he had at his back and that was humbling. Frankly a great deal more good than bad came out of this whole incident, not that he would wish this on anyone, but it certainly opened his eyes. And right now, he was the most comfortable in his own skin than he had ever been. 

 

He tilted his head to steal a glimpse of Jethro who was at the helm. That was the one thing he was most grateful for; Jethro. Finally finding their way to each other, growing together and finding just how tightly bound they were. None of his anticipated insecurities was present as they moved forward, but then again they had known each other for years. They had already seen the good, the bad, and the ugly in one another.

 

Smiling at Jethro as those blue eyes landed on him one thing was certain - he was a damn lucky man.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Harm walked out of the court room for the second time in a week relieved that it was over. He had made his case that the trials needed to take place quickly and near the other to insure that nothing leaked from one to the other giving one an unfair advantage over the other and it was accepted.

 

Frankly, the cases were both air tight, he had made sure of that, but the facts were clear and concise. The two had hung themselves with the recording and subsequent interrogations. But everything was done by the book and there was little either of their attorneys could argue in their defense. 

 

The jury took little time to deliberate and both verdicts a clear and resounding guilty. Miss David had done little to help herself as she sat in the courtroom aloof, threatening, and cold. He was simply glad for Tony’s sake that it was done. They had both received the maximum sentences allowed for the charges against them for a total sentence of fifty-seven years for Perjury, Obstruction of Justice, Tampering with Evidence and Gross Negligence. Neither would be seeing the light of day for a very long time and though he may have personally wished that he could have put them both in front of a firing squad, he was pleased that they got what they deserved and were both now on their way to prison.

 

Pulling out his phone, he did as he was asked to by Gibbs when the trials were done and sent Fornell a text. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out there those two had their own plans for Thing One and Two and he didn’t need to know what it entailed.

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Fornell looked at the text and grinned. It was time for the payback to begin. 

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Both men sat back looking at the stars simply content to be in each other’s arms. The silence spoke volumes with far more eloquence than words as the air was permeated with love. They had come full circle from that tackle in Baltimore to where they were now. 

 

“I want to come back to NCIS.” Tony’s words broke the silence. “I love what I do and where I work. I need to be the person that can bring closure to a family or solve the mystery and help unite a family. I can’t see myself doing anything else.”

 

Taking a deep breath as he continued, “I also know that after this I will be hard pressed to trust anyone to watch your six. I won’t lie; it isn’t going to be a simple to let new Probies in, but I need and want to do this. I refuse to let this stop me from what I love to do.”

 

Jethro leaned over slightly pressing a kiss into the younger man’s temple. “We’ll find a way to get you comfortable. May bring in some help if we have to. As strange as it may sound, Dr. Rachel may have some ideas. We can talk to her. The bottom line is we’ll do whatever it takes.”

 

“Thanks Jet.”

 

“I imagine that head of yours has some ideas on some new team members”, bumping his shoulder against Tony.

 

“Maybe a couple…I know that we may need to look over some applicants. I would love Balboa, but I hear he has his own team now, maybe Cassie though…Dornegat also has a lot of potential.”

 

“Sounds like a good start. When you gonna let Vance know?”

 

“In a few days. I need and want more time out here with you. I feel...” He struggled to find the right words, “more centered and at peace than I have for a long time. We have been dealing with this whole clusterfuck, my injuries and issues. This is our time…to enjoy what we found, have, and are together.”

 

“I’m not ready to give that up yet.” Tony turned to meet Jethro’s gaze.

 

A tender kiss was placed on the younger man’s lips. “You do realize that this doesn’t end when we go home or back to work. We will make time to get away and we have every day and night together. Always Tone.” 

 

Tony sighed contentedly as Jethro leaned in with a kiss that left no doubts to their future. His body responded to Jethro’s touch as it had been made for his and his alone. Wanting nothing more than to be devoured by the older man, he groaned as Jethro pulled away both men breathing heavily, the air around them charged with need.

 

“Please Jethro.” 

 

“Soon Tony. As soon as the last of your stitches is out. Trust me…I want this as much as you do.” His lips grazed Tony’s ear, voice husky and filled with desire. “I want to feel your body around me as I claim what’s mine over and over again.”

 

“Yes…please…” Tony whispered.

 

“I want to learn every inch of your body with my hands, lips, and tongue. Learn all of your hot spots and drive you crazy with desire…make you beg me to take you. I want you to explore my body and drive me insane until I throw you down and fuck you till you can’t take anymore and you scream my name as you cum.”

 

“Jesus…” Tony panted. “I want that…everything…”

 

“And you’ll have it.” Jethro kissed the younger man’s neck. “Soon.”


	34. Karma's a Bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to the best Beta in the whole world - Amy!

Tony stood facing the elevator doors and tried not to let his nerves get the best of him. He knew that he had nothing to be nervous about, but this was the first time that he had set foot in NCIS since the incident and he was finding it a bit more nerve wracking than he had anticipated. He regretted the decision to do this on his own.

 

The minute those doors opened there was no going back, not that he wanted to, but this was it. As he waited, he thought about how far he had come since he had last set foot in the building. He was definitely stronger both physically and mentally, so he could do this. He had closed the door on what happened and was ready to start this new chapter of his life with a clean slate so to speak. 

 

The doors opened, the familiar orange greeting him before he stepped out and gazed upon a sea of Agents giving him a standing ovation and welcoming him home. Never had he imagined this sort of homecoming and to say that he was touched by their support was nowhere near what he felt.

 

Balboa walked up to Tony and clasped his shoulder. “Good to have you back where you belong Tony. It hasn’t been the same without you.”

 

“Thanks Rick, It feels really good to be here.” Tony looked out at the gathered agents and wished he had the words to thank them all, not for being here right now, but for everything. He had memorized every face that he had seen on that DVD and in part, those faces were what tilted the favor in returning to NCIS.

 

Taking a deep breath, he addressed the group. “I don’t think I will ever be able to thank you all enough for your support...I was shocked when I watched the DVD...but more than that I was moved. All of you helped with my choosing to come back to NCIS.” Lowering his head for a moment, he worked to put his words together.

 

“For a while I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to or even could return” Looking up again his eyes filled with the emotion that he was trying desperately to control. “But I kept seeing all of your faces...the look of total support and also the anger that you showed.” Gesturing towards the desk where Thing 1 & 2 once resided. 

 

“Thank you...for everything.” Smiling as he spotted a whirling dervish headed for his arms. All of a sudden, he found that he was wrapped in her arms receiving the hug of a lifetime.

 

“Abs….need to breathe.” The groups surrounding them laughed and quietly made their way back to their respective desks and offices. Those passing by him squeezing his shoulder in support.

 

 

“You’re home.” She loosened her grip giving him a chance to breathe. “Finally.”

 

Tony chuckled as he kissed her temple. “You had dinner with Jethro and me last night Abs. Remember? Ducky told that- Ow!” Rubbing his arm where she had promptly punched him.

 

“You know what I mean.” Her green eyes narrowed dangerously.

 

Tony pulled her tight. “I know. It took some time…but I’m ready. Time to start fresh.”

 

Abby smiled brightly. “You got that right. Now go….shoo…let’s get this party started.”

 

He shook his head and winked as he headed up the stairs to Vance’s office more than ready to do just that.

 

Cynthia stood and gave him a tentative hug. “It is wonderful to have you back Agent DiNozzo. Place hasn’t been the same.”

 

Tony smiled shyly. “Thank you. I am glad to be back.” And as the words left his mouth, he knew that no truer words had been spoken.

 

“Go on in, he’s expecting you.”

 

Taking a deep breath, he turned and knocked on the door before opening it. 

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Tim sighed quietly at the back of the cafeteria. Since he had been processed and he still shuddered at that memory, he had strived to make himself as invisible as possible. That was never something that he had ever considered he would wish for; invisibility, having always sought out being noticed, to let his talents and intelligence shine, but not here.

 

Here his goal was to survive. He didn’t want to be noticed or pointed out so he stayed silent with his back against any available wall. Though he had been incarcerated in an area away from the more violent offenders, he was not confident in the supposed safety of that section of the prison. 

 

He longed to make some sort of friend to at least have conversation and not spend his time in silence, but as he studied the men around him surreptitiously, he couldn’t figure out how to judge whether they were friend or foe.

 

He had no idea how he was going to get through this...looking at the food in front of him he sighed. He wished he could go back and do things differently, acted like he belonged to a team, that he would have remembered how Tony always had his back and really to do it right. But that wasn’t going to happen and he was not going to get that second chance. And really...he shouldn’t be given it. He had known better, when he turned off the mic, but he did it anyway. 

 

Lost in his musings he didn’t hear the inmate approach him until the hard voice was at his ear.

 

“Been quiet Newbie. Never seem to wanna join in the group. What’s the matter you too good for us?” 

 

Tim wasn’t sure how to respond that wouldn’t end up with him in trouble. He looked for the guards hoping to see that they were paying attention, but now they were looking elsewhere and it wasn’t as if the man was actually doing anything to cause trouble. 

 

“No...just quiet. Still new here.”

 

“I know. Saw you come in...Been watching you.” The man’s eyes narrowed as he took in Tim’s expression. “Looks like you think you’re too good for me to come make conversation.” He moved a little closer to Tim. “I know all about you.”

 

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Ziva pushed the woman out of her personal space exasperated that she wouldn’t take the hint. Every time she turned around Meghan was there. She had asked to be moved to a different cell and had been met with disdain. All the while Meghan had laughed.

 

“No special treatment here. You are one of us.”

 

“I am not one of you. You have no idea who I am or what I am capable of. If you did I assure you, you would leave me alone.” Ziva said through gritted teeth.

 

“What would be the fun in that? Us being BFFs and all that.”

 

Ziva stood in front of Meghan and her eyes narrowed dangerously. “We are not as you say BFFs. I am here until my father comes to his senses and then I shall leave this foul place.”

 

The other woman just sneered and shook her head.

 

“You know nothing!” Ziva shouted.

 

Meghan grabbed the Israeli around the neck and pushed her into the wall. “You’re wrong Miss Mossad, I know everything.”

 

Ziva’s eyes widened at the women’s words as she struggled to get free. She was stronger than she was prepared for and she was quickly losing air. She saw the guard standing near and called to her hoping to catch her attention. “Help.” She was loathe to ask for help but she was quickly running out of options.

 

The guard looked her way and simply put her hands over her ears and walked away.

 

Meghan loosened her grip to let Ziva grab a lungful of air. “Guess she couldn’t hear you.” She whispered in her ear before rearing her fist back and knocking Ziva out.

 

Ziva startled awake to find that she had been returned to her cell and looked around cautiously to determine if anything looked disturbed. She failed to understand why this Meghan had taken such a dislike to her and insisted on irritating her. Nor did she grasp why the guards were seemingly turning a blind eye.

 

 

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

 

Tim was exhausted. Lorne, since sitting down to lunch that day would not leave him alone. It was nothing overt or sexual, but he was always in his space; tripping him, pushing him a bit too hard and always in his face. He seemed to know him, but for the life of him, Tim could not remember having ever seen the man prior. The taunts were never ending and always with a cruel edge. 

 

Tim heard the reverberating sound of the locks and took his place near his cell door waiting to head to dinner. He could only hope that Lorne was becoming bored with him by now as he tried barely to acknowledge the man’s actions.

 

However, that was not to be the case as he heard the man begin behind him. That was another thing he wondered about; their cells were not even near one another- how was it the guards never noticed his slipping up the line.

 

“Ahhh...there he is.” Stepping up closer he pushed Tim slightly causing him to stumble into the wall.

 

“McGee! Stay in the line” The guard voice boomed through the hall.

 

What the fuck? Tim was really starting to think that the guards were blind. “Yes, Sir.” 

 

Lorne moved closer to Tim. “Blind aren’t they? Guess they can’t see you. I wonder if they can hear you.” Before Tim had a chance to wonder what Lorne meant by that he felt a punch to his ribs. It was hard enough to knock the breath out of him and cause him to yelp and stumble slightly.

 

Tim looked expectantly at the guard only to find that he hadn’t noticed. Taking a deep breath to gain back his equilibrium he accepted that the guard was simply blind, deaf and dumb.

 

Lorne smirked as he watched the realization fall on Tim’s face. “Shame the guard couldn’t hear you.”


	35. Revenge Is A Life Well Lived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been an intensely personal story for me to write. On the one hand it has been a bit cathartic and allowed me to cut the edge off a couple of demons...but on the other hand I had to bring my betrayl to the surface and feel it all over again. Not sure there is a win/win column, but in the end I believe there is a light. I see it and over the years it does get a bit bigger and a bit brighter and in the end that is a good thing. I was able to express a great deal of my pain through Tony and trust me I felt every word. It is really hard to say goodbye here...it is so personal I have hesitated posting the end. I want to thank you all for going along on this journey with me and for letting me share my pain through Tony. For all of you who have sent encouraging words I can't thank you enough. They meant the world to me and I appreciate you all more than you know.
> 
> Many thanks to my most awesome Beta Amy!

Fornell looked at Jethro while pouring them each a cup of coffee. “Tony going to be out for awhile?”

 

“Yep. Abs took him shopping. Something about Tony needing clothes that represented the new ‘awesome Tony’ or something like that.” Seeing the puzzled look on his friend’s face Jethro shrugged. “Don’t ask me. I don’t have a clue.”

 

Fornell shook his head as he sipped his coffee. “As long as he’s happy.”

 

Gibbs smiled. “That he is. Come along way Tobias, proud of him.”

 

“Never doubted he would get there. How’s the new team?”

 

“Better than I could have imagined.” Gibbs pursed his lips as he tried to explain. “At first I was worried that Tony wouldn’t find people that he felt even the first inkling of trust with, hell, who could blame him?”

 

“I let Tony guide this ship, gave my opinion when asked and let him ferret out whatever was going to make him comfortable. Never doubted that he would make the right choices, but I’ll admit it was hard as hell to watch from the sidelines.”

 

“I can imagine. You had your own concerns after the fiasco with the previous team and Tony.” 

 

“I did. Didn’t want to make any of the same mistakes.” He sat silent for a moment before shaking off the memories of that whole incident. “To answer your question, the team is great. Dorny and yes, Tony has managed to get me to call him that, has progressed beyond what I would have thought him capable.”

 

“His skills are right there with McGee’s. Tony encouraged him to take a few courses and that was it. Cassie practically ran to be on his team.” Jethro chuckled. “Make no mistake Tobias, it’s his team. Dorny and Cassie are fierce in protecting him. God help anyone that even tries to touch Tony.”

 

“That went a long way in helping close the gap on trust. He feels their belief in him, his skills, and their partnership. You can see it in their interactions and his body language. It didn’t happen from day one...the first case where Tony had to take someone other than me with him, he was tense and on edge. But they both were expecting that and did what any partner would do - showed him through actions.”

 

“And honestly, I couldn’t imagine a better team. The way the three of them work together to put the puzzle together is seamless. Seriously, Tobias, I feel like a blind ass. Yea...we solved cases before and sure we had a high solve rate...but this - this is totally different.”

 

“Don’t beat yourself up Jethro. It’s done and we’ve all learned a thing or two. That will never happen again. I get it. It’s different because there are no hidden agendas or hidden disrespect or disdain. Just accept it and move on.”

 

“Working on that.”

 

“I got something that will help with that.” Grinning, Fornell pulled a large envelope out of his pocket. Opening it, he removed a large stack of photos.

 

“Got a progress report on Thing One and Two. Seems our bit of old school revenge is working quite well. The pictures tell their own story.” Laying out the pictures of McGee and Ziva from the beginning of their incarceration to the present, the change was evident. 

 

“Damn!” 

 

“Pretty impressive. After those firsts incidents I made sure that they were instructed to use no hands on intimidation. It has only been looks, a few whispered words and the guards never see or hear anything. They have truly been mind-fucked Jethro.” Tobias grinned. 

“Look at the pictures...it’s all right there. The shadows under their eyes, the unease in their stance. Hell you can almost see them twitching.”

 

“They deserve it. Deserve far more than that. Part of me wishes it could have been more physical...but the pictures clearly show the strain.”

 

“Miss Mossad has lost her air of arrogance that’s for sure. You know she called Eli and begged him to help her.”

 

Jethro nodded. “Eli called Tony. Wanted to reassure him that that wasn’t going to happen.”

 

“Wow. Well that was apparently when Thing 2 started her decline. The fact that her delusions of being whisked away to plot and act out her revenge-” Tobias turned towards Jethro, his face contorted in anger. “And I have no doubt that she would have done just that. Gone after Tony and you too, more than likely.”

 

“Was prepared for that Tobias...knew that if she was able to somehow gain her freedom that she would be gunning for Tony. Just as I know she would never have laid a hand on him.” His blue eyes narrowed. “Never would have gotten the chance.”

 

Taking a deep breath, he turned his thoughts back towards the pictures. “How the hell did you get these?” His fingers moved through the pile as he looked.

 

“Warden remembers Tony when he was a detective.” Fornell chuckled. “Liked the young, cocky, and affable detective. He also hates that fact that fellow law enforcers didn’t have their partner’s back. Figured it was the least he could do when I approached him with our plan.”

 

“He, as you know, talked to the Warden that had to deal with Miss Mossad and she was more than happy to lend a hand. Kinda humorous when you figure she hadn’t had to deal with her for very long, but then again…”

 

“Have to admit Tobias these pictures...they tell a story. We need to thank the Wardens and find an appropriate way to thank Thing One and Two’s tormentors without causing a riot.”

 

“Wardens took care of that. Simple really; once a month the involved inmates are allowed a meal in private of their choosing. Nothing over the top or any huge special treatment that could cause issues. It’s been working for the past nine months without any problems.”

 

Jethro looked skeptical. “They only want a meal?”

 

Fornell shrugged. “Let’s just suffice it to say they are paying it forward. Long story Jethro.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Still don’t want to tell Tony?”

 

“No. He made his peace and has moved forward and though this is retribution for what was done to him...I will admit that it is more for me.” He took a deep breath as he clinched his fists, “There was so little I could do after the fact. I needed to know that they got a taste of what it feels like to have no one watching out for them.”

 

“No need to explain it to me Jethro. I wanted to rip them apart. I can name a long list of people that would have loved to have seen the two of them drawn and quartered. But it’s done, you can let it go. They will never know peace and by the time they see the light of day you will have had had the ultimate revenge. Don’t carry this with you.”

 

“Waxing all poetic Tobias.” 

 

“On occasion Jethro. But seriously; it’s done and over. Tony survived and you two finally got your shit together. You both will have the last word.”

 

“How do you figure?”

 

“Revenge is a life well lived. All you need to do is live it.”

 

Gibbs looked at Fornell as if he had lost his mind. ”When the hell did you start channeling Ducky?”

 

Fornell just grinned and shrugged as he gathered up the photos and quietly left.

 

Gibbs sat lost in thought, struck by the words. Damn if he wasn’t right. It was time for him to let go as Tony had done and get down to the living. That was sage advice and something he could do. Grinning as he stood picking up the mugs and brought them to the sink. Now all he needed was Tony home; he had a few things to say to the man that didn’t require any words to be spoken but lips were definitely gonna be involved.


End file.
